- Banned
- #1
I still recall 'Spanky' Roebuck's absurd reaction to the spiteful Sydney Test against India back in 2007-08, when he was so offended by Australia's behaviour that he called for Ricky Ponting to be sacked as captain. Read it again if you've forgotten. That would have been good for a laugh if that had been the end of it. Sadly, quite a few dickheads got dragged along for the ride. And now we have a whiff of that with Greg Baum's piece in the Fairfax press today.
It must have been dictated using one of those electronic voiceboxes that Stephen Hawking uses because I'm pretty sure Mr Baum was stroking his chin while simultaneously tearing the ears off his micro-penis while compiling this piece of s**t.
Look at how absurdly overwrought the whole thing is. Australia's WC victory was somehow diminished by some tepid sledging? Seriously? Oh, 'a stain on the cup', because Australia gave a couple of gentle send-offs. Please, fetch me the smelling salts. I feel a little giddy.
Australia play combative cricket. That's how it is. It's part of the arsenal. As long as it doesn't tip over into vilification or something that produces an unfair advantage, no one associated with Australian cricket should ever apologise for it. The Kiwis, to their credit, don't seem to have any complaints so where does this ridiculous hand-wringing come from?
To begin with, this notion that Australia are the only team who says anything salty on the field needs to be dispelled. Australia are just the most conspicuous because the swagger is integral to them playing winning cricket. It's easier to dismiss it when England do it because it's clearly just false bravado designed to compensate for the fact they're s**t. But with, Australia, the aggression and bullishness isn't just pantomime confidence and, apparently, that makes it unpalatable.
Well, hard cheese. How do these people stand watching AFL or either rugby code? Sometimes players even push each other. My goodness – they make beasts of themselves! How many ways did Hawthorn 'stain the premiership cup' last season?
Within one day of Australia having a world champion cricket team, there's this little nub of people already trying to diminsh the achievement because of 'the manner in which they won', as though they bowled underarm or tampered with the ball. It's professional sport, you dickheads! You're allowed to bully your opponent if they let you. But if winning a World Cup was as easy as telling the batsman he's s**t, everyone would do it. The reality is that sledging is a complete sideshow and has little or no effect on the result.
The Ashes are coming up. I hope Australia go over and pull England to pieces in the most hostile, most aggressive way possible, ending several careers and decimating the entire administration and senior leadership. I hope we burn their house down and leave a really nasty taste in their pouty little mouths. They've spent the last 18 months in a long, languid circle-jerk of incompetence while their tame gimp press try to find a silver lining in a pile of s**t. They deserve nothing less than abject humiliation. Then, as is standard, we'll be treated to the familiar refrain of how 'Australians have no class'. Like that's an insult coming from England, whose entire cricketing culture is built on the idea of class and the establishment knowing best – and is eternally neutered as a result. Let's have another cucumber sandwich and discuss who won the competition of manners while quietly covering up a paedo ring.
In the meantime, Australia should bask in having a champion side again. And Baum should be locked away in a dark little room with only the echoes of 'Spanky' Roebuck's heavy breathing, sexually repressed indignation and sweaty, self-loathing Englishness for company.
It must have been dictated using one of those electronic voiceboxes that Stephen Hawking uses because I'm pretty sure Mr Baum was stroking his chin while simultaneously tearing the ears off his micro-penis while compiling this piece of s**t.
Look at how absurdly overwrought the whole thing is. Australia's WC victory was somehow diminished by some tepid sledging? Seriously? Oh, 'a stain on the cup', because Australia gave a couple of gentle send-offs. Please, fetch me the smelling salts. I feel a little giddy.
Australia play combative cricket. That's how it is. It's part of the arsenal. As long as it doesn't tip over into vilification or something that produces an unfair advantage, no one associated with Australian cricket should ever apologise for it. The Kiwis, to their credit, don't seem to have any complaints so where does this ridiculous hand-wringing come from?
To begin with, this notion that Australia are the only team who says anything salty on the field needs to be dispelled. Australia are just the most conspicuous because the swagger is integral to them playing winning cricket. It's easier to dismiss it when England do it because it's clearly just false bravado designed to compensate for the fact they're s**t. But with, Australia, the aggression and bullishness isn't just pantomime confidence and, apparently, that makes it unpalatable.
Well, hard cheese. How do these people stand watching AFL or either rugby code? Sometimes players even push each other. My goodness – they make beasts of themselves! How many ways did Hawthorn 'stain the premiership cup' last season?
Within one day of Australia having a world champion cricket team, there's this little nub of people already trying to diminsh the achievement because of 'the manner in which they won', as though they bowled underarm or tampered with the ball. It's professional sport, you dickheads! You're allowed to bully your opponent if they let you. But if winning a World Cup was as easy as telling the batsman he's s**t, everyone would do it. The reality is that sledging is a complete sideshow and has little or no effect on the result.
The Ashes are coming up. I hope Australia go over and pull England to pieces in the most hostile, most aggressive way possible, ending several careers and decimating the entire administration and senior leadership. I hope we burn their house down and leave a really nasty taste in their pouty little mouths. They've spent the last 18 months in a long, languid circle-jerk of incompetence while their tame gimp press try to find a silver lining in a pile of s**t. They deserve nothing less than abject humiliation. Then, as is standard, we'll be treated to the familiar refrain of how 'Australians have no class'. Like that's an insult coming from England, whose entire cricketing culture is built on the idea of class and the establishment knowing best – and is eternally neutered as a result. Let's have another cucumber sandwich and discuss who won the competition of manners while quietly covering up a paedo ring.
In the meantime, Australia should bask in having a champion side again. And Baum should be locked away in a dark little room with only the echoes of 'Spanky' Roebuck's heavy breathing, sexually repressed indignation and sweaty, self-loathing Englishness for company.
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