The business of swapping footballers used to be treated as a dirty game not fit to be seen or heard by ordinary supporters. If you were lucky a column next to the harness racing results in the paper would tell you who’d you’d swapped pick 142 to Fitzroy for. It took the internet to bring trading into the mainstream, and for that that we (not to mention the owners of BigFooty.com) are richer.

The AFL call it the “Trade Period”, but everyone else still says “Trade Week” because we know the whole thing could be wrapped up over a long lunch.

This year it seemed most deals had been stitched up weeks in advance and we were left ticking them off like the world’s most tedious bingo game, but fortunately the league had the good sense to keep things interesting by introducing the trading of future picks and a points system that may as well have been written in Swahili for all the sense it made to the man on the street.

Here’s how your club fared.

Adelaideadelaide-crows-logo-100w

Instead of sitting back and waiting to complain about the compensation pick received for Patrick Dangerfield the Crows cut a gentlemanly deal with the Cats to make sure they were adequately compensated. They even got distant Lachlan Veale relative Dean Gore, who broke the world record for time between signing a contract extension and being shuffled off as the makeweight in a blockbuster deal.

The Crows then took advantage of Carlton’s ‘everything must go’ sale to pinch Troy Menzel in exchange for Sam Kerridge, added Paul Seedsman from Collingwood and brought the charismatically named Curtly Hampton from GWS as well as banking pick 9. All that for pick 32 and a second rounder in 2016. Result.

Brisbanebrisbane-lions-logo-100w

The Lions are always a pivotal player in trade week, more often than not because young players are attempting to cast off for safety on any available buoyant device like the opening scene of Scarface. At least this year they managed to bring in more players than they lost.

Ryan Bastinac and Tom Bell will prove handy in the rebuild of their midfield, and while Josh Walker is hardly Tony Lockett he can’t help but to improve a forward line that for much of 2015 was purely fictional. Somebody called Jarrad Jansen was also involved in the swaps. Me neither.

Jack Redden and Matthew Leuenberg went the other way, but the biggest loss might have been James Aish. Perhaps like a child forced to eat their vegetables he might have got used to playing there eventually if he’d given it a chance. Whoever they bring in with pick #2 will probably be on the table in two years, but at least they know their academy kids aren’t going to demand to go home in a couple of years but get lost on the way and end up at Collingwood.

Carltoncarlton-blues-logo-100w

Where Stephen Silvagni’s put on his own version of Grand Designs by finishing off Carlton’s forward line in favour of an assortment of flotsam and jetsam from the GWS list he helped build. It’s the sort of move best suited to be pulled off by a legend of the club rather than an outsider, because this way supporters aren’t likely to burn down Princes Park if it’s not looking like working after Round 1.

With Menzel and Henderson gone, he’s bolstered their wafer-thin midfield with Kerridge and Liam Sumner but you feel like the busiest recruit next year might be defender Lachie Plowman. The other two GWS imports Andrew Phillips and Jed Lamb played six games between them last season. Put that in the membership brochure, but perhaps don’t mention crumbling and giving in to Richmond on Chris Yarran.

On the plus side the continuing rebuild, which is quickly threatening to reach Melbourne-esque levels of futility, will be bolstered by four picks in the top 20.

Collingwoodcollingwood-magpies-logo-100w

The phrase ‘destination club’ is a horrendous cliché, but it’s difficult to deny that the Pies have achieved that status. After two seasons outside the eight football’s great and reasonably good were queuing around the block to get into the Westpac Centre. That’s the sort of advantages that being the biggest club in the land bring you.

It took until the second last day to get Adam Treloar, even though we knew it was happening for weeks beforehand. The Pies certainly did, already having filmed his welcome video then unconvincingly blaming ‘hacking’ for it being prematurely released just weeks after the Sam Mitchell Brownlow debacle exposed the fact that nobody at the AFL knows how to use their own website.

The unproven Freeman is off to St Kilda, but capturing the marginally more proven Aish from Brisbane leaves them no worse off. They’ll also enjoy the non-stop aerialism of Jeremy Howe, who might finally achieve a Mark of the Year nomination without his side being 85 points down.

Seedsman and Ben Kennedy depart to Adelaide and Melbourne respectively but considering the players they’ve introduced neither will be an alarming departure for Pies fans. The most alarmed group at the club will be the lunatic fringe of fans who treat Nathan Buckley like he’s Damien Drum and will be waiting around the corner with heavy weaponry waiting to finish him off if they don’t make the eight next season.

Essendonessendon-bombers-logo-100w

Everyone’s favourite trade week participants sat through protracted negotiations before eventually relieving St Kilda of pick five for Jake Carlisle. In a rare case of good fortune for the Bombers they managed to complete the deal just in time to make the subsequent drug scandal somebody else’s problem.

It was a successful fortnight all round for Essendon. Craig Bird is better than spare parts for a side unlikely to play finals in 2016, and pick 25 was a good result for Jake Melksham. Pocketing Leuenberger for nothing represents a significant improvement on Jonathan Giles, and they’ll go into the draft with picks 4 and 5. They’ve still got the problems you’d expect from a team who finished 15th last year, but in a fortnight where everyone claims to be a winner they can say it with a straight face.

jake-carlisle-400

Fremantlefremantle-dockers-logo-100w

After taking the wayward Harley Bennell off Gold Coast’s hands early, Freo turned toprising Cam McCarthy from GWS. The idea that he’d fill the considerable gap left if Pavlich retired may have been optimistic, but we won’t know for at least a year now that McCarthy has been left twirling his wispy teenage moustache in frustration while the Giants keep him locked up in their basement.

mccarthy-moustache

With an ageing list, pick 16 gambled on reforming Bennell and Luke McPharlin already retired, the Dockers may need to go on bended knee to Pav and beg him to carry on for another season.

Geelonggeelong-cats-logo-100w

After missing the finals for the first time in nine years the Cats decided to rage against the dying of the light and drastically bolster their lineup with experienced players rather than waiting for kids to develop. Dangerfield was the first domino to fall, showing other potential recruits that Kardinia Park was still an attractive place to play. Zac Smith and Henderson add much needed height, while Scott Selwood will be another cog in their midfield.

Out with little fanfare went Gore, Jansen and Walker while the already discarded Steve Johnson is going for a one year lap of honour at GWS before moving into coaching. Elsewhere Dawson Simpson joined the Giants as probably the most underwhelming free agent in history, having played less than five games a season on average in his six years with the Cats.

Geelong supporters may as well not bother on draft night, their trades have left them with just four picks between 67 and 121. Stephen Wells won’t do his reputation as a ‘master recruiter’ any harm if he can snatch two serviceable players from that lot.

Gold Coastgold-coast-suns-logo-100w

After suffering a cruel reality check where they were unexpectedly thrust back into the wooden spoon race, the Suns will back in their list to bounce back alongside a fit Gary Ablett. They’ll do it without Bennell, Smith and Charlie Dixon, but they can’t be accused of not trying to bring some name players in. Matt Rosa will add leadership to their midfield, but after failed bids for Howe and Seedsman they were forced to settle for barely used North ruckman Daniel Currie as their only other acquisition.

They might have cost themselves a better deal on Bennell by publicly sacking him well before the trade period, but still racked up (sorry Harley) enough picks to get a number of useful kids over the next two seasons. They took a hit this year, dropping down to sixth in the order but importantly banking Melbourne’s first selection in 2016. Next year they’ll also have three more second rounders to use for draft or trade, giving Suns fans the chance to cheer against several different teams next season.

Greater Western Sydneygws-giants-logo-100w

They were helped by Silvagni turning up with his Costco membership and buying in bulk, but trading eight players in one year must be a record. With their list shrinking every year until they’re back on a level playing field, and with many high draft picks marooned in the NEAFL they are always active traders and this year the phenomenon reached its peak.

Steve Johnson is a reasonable gamble for a season, but otherwise the Giants will rely on the draft and their cavalcade of talented academy players to add to the list in 2015. They might not get their top two academy picks, but they’ve got enough realistic alternatives to turn to if there are complications.

Treloar is the big loss, but they’ve been reasonably compensated considering he could have walked for nothing if he’d chosen to go to the Pies via the draft. The others – including Jacob Townsend who has landed at Richmond – had their charms but none are match-winners like Treloar. They’ve given plenty away, and who knows how McCarthy will react to being held hostage for the season, but they’re still growing a frightening crop of players.

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Hawthornhawthorn-hawks-logo-100w

They effectively didn’t bother to show up, and after three flags why would you? With not much else left to do they’ve decided to see if they can make Jack Fitzpatrick a star, which didn’t seem all that exciting compared to the prospect of luring Jake Carlisle until a certain video came out. Now the man formerly known to Melbourne fans as Puttin’ On The Fitz seems like a much safer recruiting option.

The Hawks also did well scoring pick 15 for fringe player Jed Anderson, and while Matt Suckling is a loss their list is a multi-headed beast where you can lop one off and another grows in its place.

Melbournemelbourne-demons-logo-100w

For the last few years there’s been more ‘down down’ at Demonland than a Coles ad, and when it started with swapping pick 25 for Melksham several fans publicly threatened to self-harm. After years of treating late 20’s picks with contempt the exchange was suddenly treated like high treason, and things didn’t get much better when Howe and Jimmy Toumpas were given away for what looked like next to nothing.

As a Melbourne fan it seemed hypocritical to complain about the result after we’d spent the entire off-season talking them down as glorified VFL players but that’s what supporters do. In the end it turned out quite well, we got Kennedy from Collingwood, Bugg from GWS and used the expansion clubs to upgrade ourselves to picks 3 and 10.

The only flaw in the plan is that until recently we’ve drafted as if the selections have been made by a thousand monkeys using thousand typewriters, so there is always the prospect that we’ll completely stuff it up. And having gambled our first pick next year on further improvement it’s going to be embarrassing when Gold Coast are lining up to select first with it in 2016.

North Melbournenorth-melbourne-kangaroos-logo-100w

The Kangaroos have made two preliminary finals in a row, but you’d never know it from the number of players using them as a diversion to get to Collingwood. They failed to land any big names, settling for the “couldn’t get a game at a premiership club = profit” scheme to introduce Jed Anderson for Hawthorn.

Out went Currie and Bastinac, in came another draft pick in the 20’s and we begin the countdown to them bolstering their aging list by making deals like a drunken sailor in a Tijuana whorehouse at the end of next year.

Port Adelaideport-adelaide-power-logo-100w

Charlie Dixon’s move from the Gold Coast was one of the moves telegraphed months out, and as long as he can have another 40 goal season they’ve paid fair price for him even if it has left them without a draft pick until #32.

While Dixon has to live up to expectation, less is expected of Jimmy Toumpas. Which is strange for somebody who picked fourth in the draft, but the kid has been comprehensively Melbourned. He was drafted as the ‘cherry on top’ only to turn up and discover that the cake was made from excrement and a change in environment will do wonders for him.

Richmondrichmond-tiger-logo-100w

After years of being slaughtered for wacky trading the Tigers finally took advantage of somebody else, winning the two week game of brinkmanship with Carlton over Yarran. All it took was for him to threaten to sit out 2016 if he had to. Carlton might not think so, but pick 19 seemed a fair price in the end.

They might not have fulfilled their need for another ruckman, but at least Townsend from GWS should prove handy cover for their midfield. Whether it’s enough to vault them into the premiership race is doubtful but hopefully for their sake it’s enough to get to the second week of the finals.

chris-yarran-richmond

St Kildast-kilda-saints-logo-100w

An unexpectedly popular club after recovering from the 2014 wooden spoon, the Saints first pinched Freeman from Collingwood before engaging in the soap opera of the season with Essendon over Carlisle.

They eventually got their man, courtesy of Sydney joining in for a lukewarm three-way, and an hour later they inherited a scandal. Little did we know that while negotiations were being finalised the producers of A Current Affair were putting together a stitch up about his dodgy nocturnal activities.

Carlisle will be fine after he’s slapped on the wrist, but for St Kilda’s sake they’d better hope he works out on field. They’ve dropped down to pick 14 in this draft and have given up their second choice next year so a lot of faith is being put in the current crop to continue their improvement.

Sydneysydney-swans-logo-100w

After last year’s fiasco where the AFL decided halfway through the trade period that they were on Double Secret Probation, the Swans laid relatively low. Once the inevitable Lewis Jetta to West Coast trade had been completed their focus turned to building up enough draft points to land their top academy process, which is great for them but about as much fun as doing your taxes for the rest of us.

In came Callum Sinclair from the Eagles as a ready-made ruckman, and Michael Talia from the Bulldogs who will no doubt also bring much needed espionage skills. We’ll next hear from the Swans when the draft rules are changed just before pick 33 and Callum Mills is instead forced to join GWS.

West Coastwest-coast-eagles-logo-100w

After making it all the way to the 10 minute mark of the first quarter of the Grand Final, the Eagles gleefully added Jetta and Redden on the cheap. Losing Rosa, Sinclair and Selwood won’t have a major effect on them, and their deals only moved them six places down the draft rankings so they can consider themselves winners.

The most surprising addition was Jonathan Giles from Essendon. The move prompted three time premiership player Brian Lake to deliver the ultimate in ‘victor’s justice‘ and tweet a reminder that he’d won as many flags in three years as clubs Giles had played for. Which, like being found pissed behind the wheel just before the finals, is the sort of thing you can only get away with when you’ve formed a key part of the greatest team of your generation. Meanwhile poor old Jon currently owns the fourth worst winning record of any player in league history, and he’s never even been on the Melbourne list.

Western Bulldogswestern-bulldogs-logo-100w

The surprise packets of 2015 remained relatively stable, picking up Matthew Suckling from Hawthorn and a pair of picks in the early 20’s. They had a bash at landing Port’s Matthew Lobbe but he spurned their advances, and after flogging Talia to Sydney for next to nothing their list management team went back to sipping cocktails with their feet up on a desk.

While Suckling cost them nothing, eyebrows were raised when they flogged pick 11 to Carlton for picks 20 and 21. With a number of players coming to the end of their career it makes sense to get two kids for the price of one, but in an allegedly weak draft you wonder if they are content to tread water for a couple of years to build a list which can ultimately challenge for a flag.