Asgardian
Bigfooty Jedi
From the sublime, La battaglia di Algeri (aka The Battle of Algiers), to the ridiculous.
Marching On! (aka Where's My Man To-nite) made in 1943 as one of the "race films". Written & directed by African-American actor, director, producer & writer, Spencer Williams. Starring a bunch of no-names who never progressed past a couple of "race films".
How do you critique such a movie?
It was made by African-Americans for an African-American audience during WW2, starring, as it says in the movie poster, an "All coloured cast". Frankly it is full of the absolutely worst racial stereotypes I've seen in a movie, it's offensive & it is crap movie making, with non-existent directing, terrible acting & dialogue that wouldn't pass the grade in primary school. In addition, about 30 minutes in, it has a segment for sensational purposes & to keep the audience remaining in the theatre. It's a combination of a night club band, the musicians are okay, burlesque dancers who are advertised as the Original 'Brownskin Models', but they are in desperate need of dance tuition, and some comedians. All of this has zero to do with the movie, it's just a 30 minutes long night club act to fill some time.
The movie is actually about an African American family, the Grandfather is a hero of the Spanish American War. A Father, who has gone missing for many years, was a hero of WW1. The ladies of the family who knit & sew for the servicemen and a son who is not inclined to volunteer for WW2. He makes his feelings known to his girl, who promptly slaps him & dumps him, ashamed of his "cowardice". He can't run & hide though because he is soon drafted, but he makes a complete dick of himself at basic training, fouling up everything & then going AWOL. While on the run he sneaks onto a train where a hobo tries to teach him some of the facts of life. He then is on foot where he comes across another hobo, who just happens to turn out to be his long lost Father, who before he dies, impresses upon his son the details of his heroism in WW1. After he buries his Father he is trekking through the desert with no water or food, close to death when he is rescued by his Grandfather who was just happening to be travelling near-by when he saw vultures circling & investigated. This rescue just happens to be near an old Indian hide-out which the guy & his Grandfather investigate when the hear voices. They come across a secret radio device and some Japanese spies, a fight ensues where the Grandfather is mortally wounded, but his Grandson continues the good fight when an Army patrol, his own unit actually, just happens to be passing by. The Grandson is rescued, the Japanese spies arrested, & then the Grandson is given a second chance to make good with the Army & he gets his girl back.
If I had as much luck as that Grandson I'd buy a X-Lotto ticket ...
Quite happy to say this is the worst movie I have ever seen, and this includes all of the Edward D. Wood Jnrs. movies. I gave in 0/10 ...... yep, ZERO/10.
Crosswinds made in 1951, directed by Lewis R. Foster, famous for his work with Stan Laurel. Starring John Payne, Forrest Tucker & Rhonda Fleming.
An island hopping American adventurer (John Payne), with a really nice yacht, takes on just about any job to earn money around the Solomons & New Guinea. He is taken on by "Jumbo" Johnson (Forrest Tucker) to go pearling in a certain lagoon, Jumbo provides all the supplies & permits, however when the coast guard checks up on him, they find the permits are fakes & he is jailed & his yacht sold to pay for his fines, "Jumbo" just happens to buy the yacht for a song. When our hero is set free he goes looking for "Jumbo", only to find out he is off searching for a plane wreck that went down in a remote part of New Guinea with a big load of gold. he comes across a couple of petty crooks, who are probably cut-throats, who also know of & want the gold, so off they go to also search for it. To get to the area where the plane went down, which happens to be in a river, our hero & cut-throats have to pass by a cannibal? tribe in New Guinea, but there the find that a white girl, who was aboard the plane, is being held waiting for the next big feast for the tribe, so at the insistence of our hero, she is rescued, because she can locate the exact location of the wrecked plane. Once they arrive there they find "Jumbo" not too far off looking for the wreck, they join forces, but dirty work & double crosses are afoot.
A by-the-numbers island adventure, I gave it 5/10
Marching On! (aka Where's My Man To-nite) made in 1943 as one of the "race films". Written & directed by African-American actor, director, producer & writer, Spencer Williams. Starring a bunch of no-names who never progressed past a couple of "race films".
How do you critique such a movie?
It was made by African-Americans for an African-American audience during WW2, starring, as it says in the movie poster, an "All coloured cast". Frankly it is full of the absolutely worst racial stereotypes I've seen in a movie, it's offensive & it is crap movie making, with non-existent directing, terrible acting & dialogue that wouldn't pass the grade in primary school. In addition, about 30 minutes in, it has a segment for sensational purposes & to keep the audience remaining in the theatre. It's a combination of a night club band, the musicians are okay, burlesque dancers who are advertised as the Original 'Brownskin Models', but they are in desperate need of dance tuition, and some comedians. All of this has zero to do with the movie, it's just a 30 minutes long night club act to fill some time.
The movie is actually about an African American family, the Grandfather is a hero of the Spanish American War. A Father, who has gone missing for many years, was a hero of WW1. The ladies of the family who knit & sew for the servicemen and a son who is not inclined to volunteer for WW2. He makes his feelings known to his girl, who promptly slaps him & dumps him, ashamed of his "cowardice". He can't run & hide though because he is soon drafted, but he makes a complete dick of himself at basic training, fouling up everything & then going AWOL. While on the run he sneaks onto a train where a hobo tries to teach him some of the facts of life. He then is on foot where he comes across another hobo, who just happens to turn out to be his long lost Father, who before he dies, impresses upon his son the details of his heroism in WW1. After he buries his Father he is trekking through the desert with no water or food, close to death when he is rescued by his Grandfather who was just happening to be travelling near-by when he saw vultures circling & investigated. This rescue just happens to be near an old Indian hide-out which the guy & his Grandfather investigate when the hear voices. They come across a secret radio device and some Japanese spies, a fight ensues where the Grandfather is mortally wounded, but his Grandson continues the good fight when an Army patrol, his own unit actually, just happens to be passing by. The Grandson is rescued, the Japanese spies arrested, & then the Grandson is given a second chance to make good with the Army & he gets his girl back.
If I had as much luck as that Grandson I'd buy a X-Lotto ticket ...
Quite happy to say this is the worst movie I have ever seen, and this includes all of the Edward D. Wood Jnrs. movies. I gave in 0/10 ...... yep, ZERO/10.
Crosswinds made in 1951, directed by Lewis R. Foster, famous for his work with Stan Laurel. Starring John Payne, Forrest Tucker & Rhonda Fleming.
An island hopping American adventurer (John Payne), with a really nice yacht, takes on just about any job to earn money around the Solomons & New Guinea. He is taken on by "Jumbo" Johnson (Forrest Tucker) to go pearling in a certain lagoon, Jumbo provides all the supplies & permits, however when the coast guard checks up on him, they find the permits are fakes & he is jailed & his yacht sold to pay for his fines, "Jumbo" just happens to buy the yacht for a song. When our hero is set free he goes looking for "Jumbo", only to find out he is off searching for a plane wreck that went down in a remote part of New Guinea with a big load of gold. he comes across a couple of petty crooks, who are probably cut-throats, who also know of & want the gold, so off they go to also search for it. To get to the area where the plane went down, which happens to be in a river, our hero & cut-throats have to pass by a cannibal? tribe in New Guinea, but there the find that a white girl, who was aboard the plane, is being held waiting for the next big feast for the tribe, so at the insistence of our hero, she is rescued, because she can locate the exact location of the wrecked plane. Once they arrive there they find "Jumbo" not too far off looking for the wreck, they join forces, but dirty work & double crosses are afoot.
A by-the-numbers island adventure, I gave it 5/10
