Certified Legendary Thread TAB's- Full of "characters" ???

[Rumbo]

Cliche Man - Talks loudly, sprouting all sorts of racing cliches ("any price a winner", "the bigger the field, the bigger the favourite", etc), but rarely collects and clearly knows SFA about racing. No matter what happens, will tell you he's up hundreds at the end of the day.

Punk Kid - Possibly Cliche Man's son, also knows SFA about racing, but will sit there all day betting beyond his means, convinced he can make money after hearing all Cliche Man's bullshyte stories about how much he reckons he wins.

Footy/Cricket Man - drops into the TAB on his way to the game each Saturday morning. Has read the morning paper and written up his bets for the day, but no matter what happens, he will also chuck a fiver on the next race to jump just before he leaves, in addition to his planned bets.

Tracky-Dacks Man - looks like a bum, in his scungy adidas tracky dacks, grubby polo shirt and thongs. However, will unload $500 worth of bets and then walk out. Either spending the entire weeks dole cheque, or is loaded and just doesn't feel the need to dress up to go to the TAB.

Kilmore Harness Man - Busies himself in the corner betting on Race 3 at Kilmore, away from the hustle and bustle of the throng crowded around the Melbourne and Sydney form counters. Doesn't even bother to look up for the Group 1 feature at Caulfield - too busy filling out a million quinella tickets for the trotters.

Doesn't Read The Scratchings Man - Usually in front of you in the queue when your race is a minute from jumping. He has a fistful of betting slips, and every one of them has at least one scratched entry on it. Fumbles round with his form guide figuring out his replacements, while you watch on helplessly as the $20 roughie you were about to back careers away to a three length win.

Long Suffering Wife - Nervously wanders into the TAB with a list of bets for hubby. Usually has to ask a friendly looking stranger (such as Kilmore Harness Man) how to fill out a betting slip. Completely flustered when attendant tells her a selection has been scratched. Long Suffering Wife is becoming a rarity since the advent of internet and phone betting.

Tag Along Man - Dragged into the TAB by friends, has no interest in horse racing. Struck by the realisation that a man in a TAB who doesn't bet can add little to most TAB conversations, tries to fit in by asking inane racing questions. Eventually, the loneliness of being a non-punter takes over, and Tag Along Man will have $10 on some nag with a name that reminds him of a funny anecdote he read on a toilet wall. The nag will duly salute at double figure odds, much to the frustration of Tag Along Man's friends, who haven't found a winner all day.

Problem Gambler Man - Problem Gambler Man sits at the TAB from Race 1 at Auckland Harness through to the last race at Dapto dogs. He scours the form for each and every race, using any number of techniques in the hope of finding a winner to recoup the mortgage repayment he lost the day before. Problem Gambler Man may have in fact started out as Tag Along Man, and been sucked in as a frequent punter from that first memorable win. The look in Problem Gambler Man's eyes as he contemplates his plight is quite sad, and as you leave the TAB, you promise yourself never to become Problem Gambler Man.

Blame The Hoops Man - Loud and vocal spectator, knows very little about horses, and is likely to exclaim "You're a hack, (insert jockey name here)!" at the conclusion of each race, as a means of justifying picking another also-ran. Blame The Hoops Man and Cliche Man are often the same person.

Classic
The father-inlaw used to run a TAB & often I go & help out when it got busy.This reminds me of how many desperate's are out there.The local barber used to come in & always just miss putting his bet on as they jumped & stand there,if the hosre won he would complain,if the horse lost he would wonder off until the start of the next,then again he would rush up ,miss the jump & the same would happen.The only problem was after he picked a couple of winners he would think his luck is going to be with him so he'd put on the bet(he would bet around $200-$300), it would lose & he would rush back to the barber shop make some more money & come back.This would happen everyday & rarely would he win.The only problem with working there is you hardly get to watch a race as someone is always telling you a hard luck story or a big win they had years ago, but you get to meet all types of people.

 

[LondonCalling]

My local also has Over The Shoulder Man, the bloke who constantly peers over your shoulder when you're filling out betting slips, whilst trying to be as discreet about it as possible, before filling out the same slip, and shooting off dirty looks your way following the loss just the same.

See also: Gilbert, Russel

Brings back fond memories of seeing him come into the pub one night, off his tree, straight from a Hallam brothel, only to put a couple of grand on a mystery bet and lose...

 

[Snoozer]

If you have ever stumbled into the Waterloo in MArybyrnong / Ascot Vale on a Saturday adfternoon there is one particular bloke who is the biggest nuffy of all TAB punters.

Changes horses down the straight if his horse "at jump" falls through the field.

Have never seen him back a loser at all.

Screams very loudly at every horse race every one, hes obviously screaming casue his horse wins. Worst effort Paratroopers being grabbed on the line by Gods Own last year, screamed the house down with paratroppers 5 in front with 150 or so to go and then ran around jumping around because his horse got it on the line.

Never has any cash, never seen him by any of the touchscreens nor near the manned machines putting a bet on and never seen him collecting at them either.

Has his "mates" buy him ******** because every time they get a win, he jumps around saying "I told you . I told you" im dead sure they buy him ******** to shut him up so as not to ******** them off any more.

Stocky red headed bloke , if youve been there you know him as every body in the place hates him.

Yeah I know that bloke... absolute tool. He's constantly being told to shut up, and his reply is always "it's a free country".

Not many things better than hearing him cheering something on 2 lengths in front, then seeing the thing you've back storm home over the top and nut him on the line.... reckon I nearly got knuckled one day when that happened and I spent the next 10 minutes laughing at him, waving my TAB ticket in front of his face.

 

[Snoozer]

Manmountain = Genius

 

[nicho_magic]

asian - usually wearing delapedated clothes. bet a lot, and most certainly do not speak english.

(i'm the bloke that follows the favorites putting 5 on for the win, but i don't celebrate too much unless it pays over 4's)

 

[eastaugh36]

asian - usually wearing delapedated clothes. bet a lot, and most certainly do not speak english.

(i'm the bloke that follows the favorites putting 5 on for the win, but i don't celebrate too much unless it pays over 4's)

Often with a punting pal too and will scream out in his native tongue in excitement.

 

[flea29]

As someone on the other side of the counter The clientele in my TAB is about half of what you guys are saying here:
asian - usually wearing delapedated clothes. bet a lot, and most certainly do not speak englishyep - and usually very exotic punters who pull off flukey trifectas
Over The Shoulder Man- punter has a $500 wager, OTSM with $1.50EW takes the card from where it feeds to look at how a high roller gambles
Mr scruffy fat pockets - old cliche, beaten out of TABs years ago
Doesn't Read The Scratchings ManPeter Hore Man - serial pests
Footy/Cricket Man - drops into the TAB on his way to the game each Saturday morning. Has read the morning paper and written up his bets for the day, but no matter what happens, he will also chuck a fiver on the next race to jump just before he leaves, in addition to his planned bets.not a truer word spoken, but always know what they are doing at least!

 

[bresker]

I am a variation of cricket/footy man - I am Mr puts $50 in his TAB account each Saturday morning. My wife drops me off at the TAB in the shopping centre & goes off to Safeway. Somehow before I leave I always manage to put a nonsense omen bet on some nag in New Zealand, or a 50c trifecta. Just to pass the time of course

Then it's off to the footy, or back home to Sport 927 and my own little TAB on the PC. Thus I can avoid the crazies. My local outlets at Deer Park or Sunshine are full of them. Theres a few punters in Sunshine who have been known to throw chairs, wail and scream when their nag gets beaten.

My favourite times at the TAB are when you're watching a big race and something comes home at 60/1, like Roman Arch last week. Usually, nobody's backed it and everyone turns to the person next to them and asks 'How the bloody hell did that get home?' A moment of camaraderie in defeat.

 

[windyhill]

What about " rude bastard behind the counter man/woman"... There are some totes I`ll only visit if I`ve got a reaonable collect, just to take it off their hands.
I`d like to tell you about this punter at my local, The Stamford , he is a dwarf, he usually backs favourites, but look out if he doesn`t and the fave get`s up and wins, he just let`s go with "ahhhhhh ********ing favourite a********inggen". He is the most annoying little man, it`s like he is short and he will say what he bloody well likes. I used to see him at carlton games until they started going bad , now it`s just the tote. He kills me this bloke.

 

[lenny&carl]

asian - usually wearing delapedated clothes. bet a lot, and most certainly do not speak english.

Wears socks with his thongs.

 

[johnnyhoward]

The opposite to Favourites Man is

Long Odds Man

Backs those at long odds : his rationale is ''when they come in they pay big''

Long odds man doesnt tell you how many he backed to get that 1 winner at 25/1

Well if it's one win in every 25 picks, he's doing OK

I don't frequent TABs that often, I might wander in during uni occassionally with a mate, but I do my real punting at home. Manmountain, some great work there mate, even if I don't know the characters as well as you.

 

[PT3001]

The yhing that S hits me the most is the people that think the tab is a coffee shop and never shut up when the race is on.It annoyas the crap out of me you want to talk go somewhere else.

his a story that happen recently down my local Ashley Hotel, little asian always waits until last minute to put his bet on, carries on if his doesnt get on and wins never says a word if it losers,want to back LOTM which was no 2 marked wrong no marked no 3 instead Roman Arch $300a win should have seen the little germ carry on like he was the greatest punter on earth, did collect nearly 20 grand though about 3 security blokes walked him to his car.

do know why where all honest people in Braybrook/Sunshine lol.

 

[banzai]

Kilmore Harness Man - Busies himself in the corner betting on Race 3 at Kilmore, away from the hustle and bustle of the throng crowded around the Melbourne and Sydney form counters. Doesn't even bother to look up for the Group 1 feature at Caulfield - too busy filling out a million quinella tickets for the trotters.

Thats me

 

[banzai]

my most despised bloke is the one who shows his ticket when he loses or goes close, i really feel like saying fk off i dont want to see your tickets or even talk to you mate.

So true. There is an asian bloke at the East Burwood TAB who runs after people to show them his ticket after every race. He has either backed the winner and wants to brag, or he has a story as to why he was unlucky not to back the winner and how he was gonna back it. Im seriously going to hit him next time.

 

[cleveland]

What about " rude bastard behind the counter man/woman"... There are some totes I`ll only visit if I`ve got a reaonable collect, just to take it off their hands.
I`d like to tell you about this punter at my local, The Stamford , he is a dwarf, he usually backs favourites, but look out if he doesn`t and the fave get`s up and wins, he just let`s go with "ahhhhhh ********ing favourite a********inggen". He is the most annoying little man, it`s like he is short and he will say what he bloody well likes. I used to see him at carlton games until they started going bad , now it`s just the tote. He kills me this bloke.

This aint Rob "FATS" is it????

 

[Im The Gun]

theres a guy at the Royal Oak here in North Fitzroy who sits there all day on Sat'day having $2 bets in every race, I'm yet to see him win anything.

I felt sorry for him when I saw him Sat'day, told him to Back Hotel Grand (I think it's the best horse in Aust). He said that he liked the Fav and will be backing that.
I went up after the race to get my money out and he thought his horse was unlucky. I told him to follow me cause when I tip them (Which is rare) they win.

BTW, get on the Hotel as soon as the Cox Plate markets open and just keep backing hm until race day. Last time I did that, Makybe Diva won her first Cup.

 

[Deej]

BTW, get on the Hotel as soon as the Cox Plate markets open and just keep backing hm until race day. Last time I did that, Makybe Diva won her first Cup.

One word son, Eremein.

 

[Im The Gun]

One word son, Eremein.

one horse makes his own luck, has class written all over him, has the speed to lead over 1400-2200.
The bloke who trains him has also gone on record and called him he best "type" he has ever trained or bought.

This is the same guy who bought Might & Power at the sales and trained him for his first race prep.

 

[Deej]

Give you one thing, it's only his 2nd prep.
We'll see.

 

[eastaugh36]

Apparently Hotel Grand wasn't 100% on Saturday either.

 

[Ricketts]

I backed Sepia in the Derby today.

 

[HeLMie]

theres a guy at the Royal Oak here in North Fitzroy who sits there all day on Sat'day having $2 bets in every race, I'm yet to see him win anything.

I felt sorry for him when I saw him Sat'day, told him to Back Hotel Grand (I think it's the best horse in Aust). He said that he liked the Fav and will be backing that.
I went up after the race to get my money out and he thought his horse was unlucky. I told him to follow me cause when I tip them (Which is rare) they win.

BTW, get on the Hotel as soon as the Cox Plate markets open and just keep backing hm until race day. Last time I did that, Makybe Diva won her first Cup.

Feel free to share yourtips with me instead of some poor bastard.

 

[eastaugh36]

I backed Sepia in the Derby today.

Good bet. I marked that one down about a year ago. Was always going to improve greatly as a 3yo.

 

[windyhill]

This aint Rob "FATS" is it????

I think his nickname is horse.

 

[Footypunter]

This thread is GOLD!!!