- Jan 30, 2013
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Nothing wrong with post race complainers, melts are good for the soul in punting.
Still dirty on results from 5 years+ ago.
Still dirty on results from 5 years+ ago.
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Nothing wrong with post race complainers, melts are good for the soul in punting.
Still dirty on results from 5 years+ ago.
I know many of these may have already appeared in this thread but collating some of my personal favorites
- The TAB Owner: Spends the day changing channels on screens, turning up volume, telling other patrons to be quiet so he can watch the college basketball while the Melbourne Cup is on. Takes command of form guides, pens and entire desks. Is actually only a punter.
Sorry to say, but its usually the Monday night football game from the states. (especially if the packers is on)
I know many of these may have already appeared in this thread but collating some of my personal favorites
Multi Man: Spends hours combining UFC/English Premier League/NFL/Logies/1st round winners in an obscure satellite tennis event. Likes putting them on just before a Group 1 and then has ticket issues which hold up the queue behind.
- I-Phone Guy: Never seen putting a ticket through a machine, but taps away at his I-Phone to put his bets on, Happy enough to scoff the free coffee and biscuits and take charge of terminals, however
- Shouters: You will never be in any doubt what they are on. Neither will most people within a 20 metre radius.
- Young Punters: Groups of young blokes, just learning about betting. Veer markedly between being I-Phone Guy and Shouters.
- Little Old Lady: Be wary of these beings. Can look like they have no idea what they are doing, wearing a nice flowered skirt and a paper carefully marked out, but probably winning more than 95% of the other punters there
- Trainer’s Friend: “Trainer reckons it’s flying and is a sure thing”. When runs 11th in a bush maiden at $67 “It was unlucky/checked/back it next time”.
- Jailbird: Easily picked by his haircut, short back and sides, a wary look in his eye, can be very jumpy at the wrong questions. Usually only places small bets but seems to understand fractional betting better than most, which leads to…
- The Fractional Punter: Loves putting a quaddy on for 1%, spends $5 on it and then wonders why he is still down on the deal 3 hours later.
- The Historian: Was there when Ajax lose at 40 to 1 on, and saw Mel Schumacher grab the leg of the jockey riding Blue Era in the 1961 Derby. Closely related to…
- The Smoker: Yearns for the days when he could puff inside the agency. Stands in doorways with a blue cloud around him. Only enters to frantically place a number of bets before departing again to watch from the doorway.
- Conspiracy Theorist: When his conveyance loses, it is due to corruption/underworld intervention/nobbling/corrupt stewards
- The Luckiest Punter: Can walk into a TAB, look at the betting for 30 seconds, and nab the $51 winner, then take a 3 dog box trifecta of the outsiders and watch them romp in, before an after the siren kick in the last AFL game of the round lands him the only live unit in the Footy Quad
- The Unluckiest Punter: Takes a 2 runner quinella in a four horse race and watches them run 3rd and 4th. Can be on a dog leading by 10 lengths on the turn who breaks down. Started his punting career by placing a bet on the Fine Cotton race, but was actually on Harbor Gold (the runner up) that day, and was co convinced there wouldn’t be a protest, he tore his ticket up and went home.
- The Animal Hater: Not above yelling for the leading horse or dog to collapse and break down as he is on the runner up for the win.
- The TAB Owner: Spends the day changing channels on screens, turning up volume, telling other patrons to be quiet so he can watch the college basketball while the Melbourne Cup is on. Takes command of form guides, pens and entire desks. Is actually only a punter.
- The Stinkpot: No other description. Smells worse than bin night. Insists on standing near you wherever you go. Probably doing okay on the punt but somehow can’t afford a can of deodorant
- The Minor Celebrity: Vaguely familiar, might have been on a reality show, or played a few one-dayers for Victoria. Tends to have shades of TAB Owner to him. Not above “don’t you know who I am” when questioned about his manner
- The Major Celebrity: Very well known, you wonder what is he doing there. Usually a great bloke to chat with, makes time for people and tends to walk out a winner.
On course betting back in the day. Nothing worse than people having roving trifectas with at least 4 scratchings lol!!
Will admit to being multi man but will step aside if someone is keen to put a bet on
Gardenvale TAB alert to this with a fast lane EBT and signs advising to be respectful of other punters and move the f..ck onMost people don't. Most people are oblivious or don't care in the slightest. I have come so close to throwing someone off the machine. The agencies should do something about it. I mean you have some old codger placing $1 trifectas on every dog race with 10 selections taking 5 minutes to do it, or people like me putting $20-$50 on in 10 seconds... those idiots must cost them a lot of money because I have stormed out a lot of times before, they do my head in.
I don't go near the machine unless I know exactly what I want to bet on or exactly what I want to check a price on. It's bad manners to go to a machine in a busy period and not know what you want to do and sit there scratching your chin while there is a queue behind you. It's not McDonald's. It also shows you have little idea what you are doing. Some idiots even take 5 minutes to place their $1 trifecta and then try to stand and watch the race in front of the machine! They won't move, you nearly have to push them away....
Gardenvale TAB alert to this with a fast lane EBT and signs advising to be respectful of other punters and move the f..ck on
I once had a bloke tell me off for using the EBT, i was putting on my Saturday quaddie or something, and he wanted to bet on the first at NSW country 2 or some something.. told him to f off and to fill out a ticket like would have 5 yrs ago...
If i was doing some stupid 10 leg multi fair enough but you can fill out a ticket if the EBT is busy..
Have you guys considered opening an account and downloading the TAB app?
you need a dialing wand
I have a guy at my local who literally craps his pants and then he puts his jacket around his waist so people can't see his dirty pants, but this doesn't deter his punting session. The stench gets so rotten that people are gagging. Then every half hour he goes outside around the corner and sprays himself with deodorant that he pulls out of his backpack......then he is back in hitting it again.
Thats crossing the line. Dont think id attend that venueI have a guy at my local who literally craps his pants and then he puts his jacket around his waist so people can't see his dirty pants, but this doesn't deter his punting session. The stench gets so rotten that people are gagging. Then every half hour he goes outside around the corner and sprays himself with deodorant that he pulls out of his backpack......then he is back in hitting it again.
I have a guy at my local who literally craps his pants and then he puts his jacket around his waist so people can't see his dirty pants, but this doesn't deter his punting session. The stench gets so rotten that people are gagging. Then every half hour he goes outside around the corner and sprays himself with deodorant that he pulls out of his backpack......then he is back in hitting it again.
Asian punter continually clears throat. Do I really want to listen to that cuz ? FFS.
No brah.He was your cousin?
No brah.