Certified Legendary Thread Do you stand up to wipe?

[craigos]

Fold for the upward stroke, scrunch for the downward stroke.

 

[04 Durif]

This upward stroke talk is absolute madness

 

[dumb]

scruncher here. don't feel the need to take the time to fold something i'm only going to smear with my s**t anyway.

has anyone weighed themselves before and after taking a s**t?

 

[ioppolo]

scruncher here. don't feel the need to take the time to fold something i'm only going to smear with my s**t anyway.

has anyone weighed themselves before and after taking a s**t?

Yes.

Was 2.2kgs lighter once.

 

[Mancey]

7 kate courics

 

[BattlerGM]

I am genuinely astonished that according to the poll, one third of people stand. How does that even work? I remember at high school one of the boys said he stood. All us boys laughed our arses off at how bizarre we thought it was. Apart from this thread, that was the first and only time I've heard of people standing. I am the most shocked right now I've been in years.

 

[LicoriceAllsorts]

I am genuinely astonished that according to the poll, one third of people stand. How does that even work? I remember at high school one of the boys said he stood. All us boys laughed our arses off at how bizarre we thought it was. Apart from this thread, that was the first and only time I've heard of people standing. I am the most shocked right now I've been in years.

Issa joke

 

[Willo_]

I get so happy when this thread is active

 

[WCErevival]

scruncher here. don't feel the need to take the time to fold something i'm only going to smear with my s**t anyway.

It takes literally 2 seconds to fold it.

 

[BattlerGM]

Issa joke

Ohhh...straight over my head - whoosh!

 

[Jobe Watson]

I am genuinely astonished that according to the poll, one third of people stand. How does that even work?

It's not as though you stand up straight like you're in the army saluting a superior office. You get to your feet in a half squat so the cheeks never close.

 

[QS]

Sit then the last one standing to check I'm all good. Standing wastes too much TP. That s**t aint cheap anymore.

Alternatively, do it right before shower, then just use the shampoo from your hair. No TP used at all

 

[Marklar_33]

This upward stroke talk is absolute madness

Eh? You only wipe back to front? Ewwww

 

[Billy ray]

I sit for my bidet.

 

[DapperDon]

Long time stander.

After some self teaching and practice I am glad to say I am now all aboard a sit wipe.

My starfish has never been cleaner.

 

[The King!]

Standing? Crazy talk

May as well s**t in the cistern

Semi related I was visiting my old uni on the weekend, have a lot of foreign students in a particular school i went to the loo came out and a few metres away was a fountain in the wall, about half a metre from the ground inbuilt to the wall to fill a water bottle.

Had a sign saying this is a water fountain not a bidet

Given it was shooting downwards not sure what acrobatics you need to get your rear cleaned, plus it was several metres from the toilet

 

[Cruyff14]

Standing? Crazy talk

May as well s**t in the cistern

Semi related I was visiting my old uni on the weekend, have a lot of foreign students in a particular school i went to the loo came out and a few metres away was a fountain in the wall, about half a metre from the ground inbuilt to the wall to fill a water bottle.

Had a sign saying this is a water fountain not a bidet

Given it was shooting downwards not sure what acrobatics you need to get your rear cleaned, plus it was several metres from the toilet

Chuckled way too hard at all of this.

 

[MrNatural]

I find myself requiring multiple wipes, and also like to finish with a wet/baby wipe for a fresh clean feel

 

[Power Raid]

It's not as though you stand up straight like you're in the army saluting a superior office. You get to your feet in a half squat so the cheeks never close.

Can we add into the poll?

who stands straight (or near straight) and those that hunch over looking ready to push a Zimmer frame.

Every time I see someone with big thighs, I'll be thinking.....squatter

 

[Billy ray]

I find myself requiring multiple wipes, and also like to finish with a wet/baby wipe for a fresh clean feel

You dont flush the wet wipe to you?!?

 

[DapperDon]

Can we add into the poll?

who stands straight (or near straight) and those that hunch over looking ready to push a Zimmer frame.

Every time I see someone with big thighs, I'll be thinking.....squatter

I never stood straight up, more like riding an invisible horse

 

[craigos]

What do people do if they've had a case of the Brad Pitts and the balloon knot is very sore, where every wipe of 3 ply feels like 40 grit sandpaper?
Dabbing is such a hard skill and isn't all that effective.

 

[Whispering_Jack]

What do people do if they've had a case of the Brad Pitts and the balloon knot is very sore, where every wipe of 3 ply feels like 40 grit sandpaper?
Dabbing is such a hard skill and isn't all that effective.

Twas me on Saturday post mexican and beers. You just have to push through the pain unfortunately. Then shower.

 

[Cruyff14]

What do people do if they've had a case of the Brad Pitts and the balloon knot is very sore, where every wipe of 3 ply feels like 40 grit sandpaper?
Dabbing is such a hard skill and isn't all that effective.

Put some moisturiser in your crack, it will soothe it.

 

[Marklar_33]

Put some moisturiser in your crack, it will soothe it.

Methylated Spirits is terrific for Haemorrhoids