This week uni has started for me. I haven't been able to get out of bed for classes due to the fact that my anxiety goes through the roof. It's my second year and don't really have friends at all and it's really making me feel like an outcast.
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- Thread starter The_Wookie
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- Oct 11, 2016
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anything for alcoholics that don't want to call a suicide line?
My advice would be to remind yourself that you are going to uni primarily to learn. Go to your classes and concentrate on the subject matter as much as you can rather than worrying about how pal-ed up everybody else seems to be. Don't let your education be taken away from you. Once you're able to get yourself going to classes reasonably often, then look around for anybody that looks a bit like you: maybe tends to sit alone, looking a bit isolated. Make a point of sitting next to the "loner" types - they often aren't really loners, they just haven't made any friends yet. You never know when you might strike up a conversation. As you've no-doubt noticed, groups form fairly early on and it can be hard to break into a group once they are formed. Your best bet would be to sit in the vicinity of other people who also don't have any social connections in your classes and lectures. You'll be doing both of you a favour! That's my suggestion, think it over. Hope you feel better soon.
I take it you've looked into Alcoholics Anonymous? They aren't a suicide line. They do vary by chapter though, so if you don't hit it off at one, try another. If you don't like the religious angle, just ignore it and focus on the main principles. I've got a mate who quit drinking after 30 years as an alcoholic. AA did contribute to his recovery, no doubt.
- Oct 11, 2016
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AA seems a last but probably only helpful resort! 4 referrals in circles for various reasons, it’s funny how that works but not really, do you have to commit a crime to be taken seriously instead of having the decency to seek help when it’s needed but be ignored? I’m talking about proper rehabs
Awesome man. Congrats.
Yes I’m relieved even though I do have to move about 1000km! I’m also waiting to hear back from another job, that one is actually 300km from the one that I received a job offer for. So waiting at the moment to see what happens with that one, before I look at houses. So currently keeping my other residence as a storage place! I do like a challenge!
Mental illness often makes it many times harder to make good friendships. The first thing you should be focusing on is to get your mental health in order first before thinking of making lifelong buddies. Often your anxiety/illness would make you less confident in social surroundings, and often others will notice something "not right" about you when you're feeling anxious/depressed, and they tend to steer away from you. It's part of the human conditioning. The strong stay in packs, and the weak are left on their own to battle away their problems.
Are you seeing a GP/psychologist? They're in better position to help you out more than any friendship bonds you make in the foreseeable future.
Macpotata
Norm Smith Medallist
- Mar 22, 2017
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As someone said, go to uni to learn. Get your education for your own benefit. Don't even concentrate on making friends. They will come at some stage.
Do you workout? Exercise is a good stress reliever and promotes serotonin, the feel good chemical in the brain. Go to the gym, take a self defence class or two. Join a social footy club or soccer or something.
You will meet people. But honestly people and their " groups " * them. Who the fucj are they anyway, they're no better than you.
I'm a ******* mess tonight
The ex is " come home"
The kids are " come home daddy"
How do you go back to abuse, cruelty, isolation,loneliness, being ignored, being used, being hit
It rips my heart out to say goodbye to my kids when I leave them
I'm not doing too good tonight
If you aren't seeing a psych or someone then go to a Doctor, any Doctor, and tell them what's going on. They might give you some medication to help your anxiety, they might put you onto someone to talk through this stuff with. You have to get clarity on why you are at Uni, are you there to make friends or to get a degree? In my case I absolutely struggled with Uni, had to pay someone to do my last assignment because I couldn't concentrate for 5 mins straight. Between that last assignment and my exams I attempted suicide, now I see that I should have dropped out or deferred because I wasn't there to make friends or to get a degree - I was just there because I didn't know what else to do. I did get the degree but haven't even needed it in the 5 years since, you might be stressing over something that's not even important
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s**t not good. You still have to do what’s best for you. In doing so your doing the best thing for your kids imo.
Nobody is perfect, as much as it hurts, going back, sounds like a bad idea.
I feel like my head is in a vice
Unfortunately that is what your ex probably wants. She wants that self doubt from you. It sounds like a control thing. Remain strong. Vent all you want
SharkFooty
Draftee
- Feb 24, 2018
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I have been extremely depressed since 2015. A few weeks ago I attempted suicide. It hasn't gotten much better since then.
Tomorrow I start a new adventure. I need to drive for 8-10 hours so I can start a new job. The biggest hurdle I face is that I was offered another job 4 hours drive from the one I took which is worth more money. So waiting to hear back from this other job, so I know where I’ll be living. So keeping my old place until I know where I’m actually moving to. So for the next month, I’ll be driving to a friends place for this new job for week days, then driving back to the old place on weekends, so I can keep up the maintence and continue packing. Fun times!
Your life matters. Just curious if you have seeked help? If you want to talk/vent here is a good place.
I think Nugett is on the money with his comments - it sounds like your ex is trying to reel you back in for her own purposes, but you have to ask yourself, is any of it good for you? I think she knows you want more contact with your kids so she's going to push that family angle. But abuse and violence is a very serious thing - and unless she's getting therapy and admitting her problems, this will not end any different than it did the first time. If she hasn't changed, her behaviour will be the same. You don't want to be an enabler for her. You leaving was her wake up call - if she can't make changes and get some therapy after that, then she's either in denial or selfish or both (assuming she actually does want you back for emotional reasons). I don't know if you're wavering on this decision or not, but if you are at all tempted to go back, do make sure that there are some non-negotiables involved - the first of which needs to be that she admits she has anger and abuse issues and that she's going to get help for that. That's got to be a minimum requirement. If she can't do that, it's like she's saying what you went through was just fine and dandy and she doesn't respect your feelings.
Good luck mate.
Macpotata
Norm Smith Medallist
- Mar 22, 2017
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why would you go back when you know it won't change? You answered you own question and should you go back will only put YOURSELF in the s**t environment subjecting yourself to further abuse and s**t. As many mentioned, she wants you to go back so she can control you, and she wants you feeling like s**t. MANIPULATION. Many people are the masters of this. Break free from this bullshit, be strong and NEVER EVER settle for s**t ill treatment.
RISE ABOVE IT
RISE ABOVE IT
- Apr 23, 2017
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A young guy ended his life today that was in both my girls class, they are shattered poor things .suicide sucks balls . I have no answers for them .
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