Preview BigFooty Swans Board VS The Team Formerly Known As The Bye

[sataris]

Ladies and Gentlemen and@miggs (RIP)

It is with greatest pride and deepest pleasure, that I bring to you tonight.

The latest and greatest form of bye round entertainment that money can offer.

A fantastic new preview thread IN THREE PARTS of five .

As a slight (major) deviation from previous bye round threads, where I randomly select posters (who all happen to agree with me on various subjects) into random positions, and piss off everyone who doesn't get a run, I've decided to be as inclusive (elitist) as possible.

In order to make that happen, Not only will I be creating a best 22, but an entire club from the ground up.

From groundskeepers, to ball boys (Cheval), Media to players and Kurt Tippet.

And to make things more interesting. THEMES, because themed rounds are the best rounds.

This bye round is (not) sponsored by

HOW THIS WILL WORK
Each Part will detail various parts of a club.

Part 1 will be focused on the business and financial side, administrators, accountants, list managers etc
Part 2 will be focused on the media, catering, cheer squad members, physios, masseurs and other positions that involve the rubbing of oil onto players (Ticky009 )
Part 3 will be focused on the playing squad. As a slight twist, if you want to be part of the best 22 (the first 22 to post, will be inducted as the best 22).

• Note the brilliant way I've made myself not responsible for people not being picked (yay!)

Part 4 will be dedicated to our opposition for this round.
Part 5 the match.

To keep the suspense and tension going, I will be adding part 1 tomorrow.

 

[sataris]

Our esteemed and wonderful club .

Headquarters

Chief Financial Officer: RW

He absolutely does not embezzle any of the funds raised by the board for redback memberships. AT ALL

Here's a latest photo of RW

Head Recruiter: swansfan51

7 / 2893 = Tom Mitchell is a good player

Head of Customer & Community: Cloud_

"Our community of loyal members are our biggest asset" - Cloud_

Head of Media & Communications: scaryness

"I know we're on the air, I don't care. I'm not saying anything until i get my bagel" - scaryness

 

[sataris]

The Team

TheMase Cheval Kirkswan
Ticky009 Mick Oxlong brad cooper
Bonz Jewelsbon Banyo Bloods
caesar88 The King! Johnboi
MarkP SilentHunter_ CheapCharlie
GotTheGoodes mtooler Tuco

Int: Troystenvic Nebley puke Kapanis Skeparovic

Coach: grimlock
Assistant Coach: Punts
Buddy oiler-upper: sataris​

 

[sataris]

Why write my own preview of St.Kilda, the worst team in the history of planet Earth.

Actually St Kilda is the most unsuccessful professional top division sports team in any sport, in any country, in the history of earth.

I've said this twice before and challenged anyone to disprove the claim by providing a worse example - nobody has been able to. The benchmarks are least championships won per year (1/118) and most last-placed finishes per year (27/118 or almost 1 in 4). Try for a team that has existed for more than 20 years (IE not a team that started last year and finished last once for 100% wooden spoon rate).

Some examples of unsuccessful challengers are:

Sacramento Kings (the most wooden spoons of any NBA franchise, but far less often than St Kilda, and 1 championship in far less seasons)
Arizona Cardinals (most wooden spoons in the NFL, but far less often than St Kilda and they've won 2 championships)
Chicago Cubs (yeah they went over a hundred years without winning, but still have more championships than St Kilda and far less wooden spoons)
Western Suburbs Magpies (managed to rack up an impressive 17 spoons, but that's still way behind St Kilda, and they won 4 premierships)
Cardiff City (absolute debacle of a soccer club but they have finished last a lot less often and actually managed to win an FA cup)

 

[sataris]

Reserved

 

[TheMase]

Does this post make me the #1 draft pick?

 

[McEvoy]

From groundskeepers, to ball boys (Cheval), Media to players and Kurt Tippet.

I love the new concept sataris!

While I appreciate your suggestion of the perfect role for me, I have a better idea...

I'll be Gillon McL ... I reckon that'll give me the power to determine who wins

 

[Kirkswan]

Ladies and Gentlemen and@miggs (RIP)

It is with greatest pride and deepest pleasure, that I bring to you tonight.

The latest and greatest form of bye round entertainment that money can offer.

A fantastic new preview thread IN THREE PARTS of five .

As a slight (major) deviation from previous bye round threads, where I randomly select posters (who all happen to agree with me on various subjects) into random positions, and piss off everyone who doesn't get a run, I've decided to be as inclusive (elitist) as possible.

In order to make that happen, Not only will I be creating a best 22, but an entire club from the ground up.

From groundskeepers, to ball boys (Cheval), Media to players and Kurt Tippet.

And to make things more interesting. THEMES, because themed rounds are the best rounds.

This bye round is (not) sponsored by

HOW THIS WILL WORK
Each Part will detail various parts of a club.

Part 1 will be focused on the business and financial side, administrators, accountants, list managers etc
Part 2 will be focused on the media, catering, cheer squad members, physios, masseurs and other positions that involve the rubbing of oil onto players (Ticky009 )
Part 3 will be focused on the playing squad. As a slight twist, if you want to be part of the best 22 (the first 22 to post, will be inducted as the best 22).

• Note the brilliant way I've made myself not responsible for people not being picked (yay!)

Part 4 will be dedicated to our opposition for this round.
Part 5 the match.

To keep the suspense and tension going, I will be adding part 1 tomorrow.

Sounds brilliant! Can't wait!

 

[Ticky009]

Oh well played sataris

 

[Mick Oxlong]

Does this post make me the #1 draft pick?

High expectations now TheMase...don’t become the next Dick Lounder!

 

[brad cooper]

Im nominating, after being overlooked last year, ive had a big 12 months preparing for the draft.

43 years old
192 cm
80kg

I had a look on the phantom drafts on big footy most have me going as a very late speculative pick. One recruiter is on record as saying,

" tall midfielder with very little skills, will run all day without finding the footy. Poor mark for his size. Having said that, very team orientated, always the first in the bar and keeps social club profits high."

 

[Bonz]

Looking forward to this.

 

[Jewelsbon]

I shot gun being Ticky's assistant rubbing the players down.

 

[Bonz]

I vote that grimlock is our coach.

A coach that is driven by pure statistics, a football pundits dream.

 

[Banyo Bloods]

Classic look forward to it

 

[Kirkswan]

I shot gun being Ticky's assistant rubbing the players down.

Damn, why didn't I think of that! Shotgun shotgun!

 

[caesar88]

Brilliant.

I love that you exonerated yourself from any Aliir-esque selection omissions

 

[TheMase]

The recruiter selects itself I would have thought.

List Management 101

 

[The King!]

Gun player available, approaching to play for you

but will need a 10 million dollar 9 year deal

 

[John Longmire]

I'd like to apply for the Head Coach position.

 

[Mick Oxlong]

I'd like to apply for the Head Coach position.

Hmmm...’Horse’ & ‘Mick Oxlong’ in a dick measuring competition for the coaches job. Lucky I have a plan B!

 

[John Longmire]

Hmmm...’Horse’ & ‘Mick Oxlong’ in a dick measuring competition for the coaches job. Lucky I have a plan B!

Considering I have the nickname Horse I'd say I have you covered easily in the dick measuring competition for anything. In regards to Plan B, only losers need a backup. My Plan A is flawless.

So there goes my competition. Guess I am head coach.

 

[McEvoy]

 

[Mick Oxlong]

Considering I have the nickname Horse I'd say I have you covered easily in the dick measuring competition for anything. In regards to Plan B, only losers need a backup. My Plan A is flawless.

So there goes my competition. Guess I am head coach.

Hold up there fella, the proof is in the wetsuit, as we know it is your favourite attire (assuredly to prevent shrinkage)! Happy for you to organize a time during your Tuesday morning presser but prepared for an ass to be made of the horse!

 

[Kennedy Parker]