Preview BigFooty Swans Board VS The Team Formerly Known As The Bye

[The King!]

I was carrying an injury

I broke my hand on a blackboard

 

[scaryness]

As Head of Media & Communications I will be releasing this online tomorrow morning:
===============================================================

Last night, the Sydney Swans board lost to the Bye - a team which has not won a game in it's 120 year existence. Despite a week's worth of preperation and careful team selection, the Swans board has critically failed to produce a winning result.

Head coach Mick Oxlong in his post-match press conference stated that "very few can hold their head high after tonight's performance. It was a complete breakdown across every line".

Spearhead The King! was reportedly seen yelling vehemently at his midfield group post-game, telling them to "lower your eyes, flogs!". The star full-forward kicked 2 goals for the game in a disappointing showing.

"As disappointing as this result was, this loss won't fracture the group", Oxlong insisted. "This playing group has been through much greater adversities than this: the 2016 Grand Final autopsy thread, the #sackhorse movement, and the COLA Wars were all strong tests of character and resilience and I can assure you this group will remain steady."

A rousing half time address by apparent guest of honour John Longmire was not enough, as some players were reportedly taken aback by what was his most attacking move as a coach in the last 3 years. When asked for comments after the game, Longmire just muttered under his breath about the lack of key forwards floating in the back line, before moving along.

Playing coach Mick Oxlong continues to have the full support of the board - seriously, this time!

===============================================================

 

[The King!]

As Head of Media & Communications I will be releasing this online tomorrow morning:
===============================================================

Last night, the Sydney Swans board lost to the Bye - a team which has not won a game in it's 120 year existence. Despite a week's worth of preperation and careful team selection, the Swans board has critically failed to produce a winning result.

Head coach Mick Oxlong in his post-match press conference stated that "very few can hold their head high after tonight's performance. It was a complete breakdown across every line".

Spearhead The King! was reportedly seen yelling vehemently at his midfield group post-game, telling them to "lower your eyes, flogs!". The star full-forward kicked 2 goals for the game in a disappointing showing.

"As disappointing as this result was, this loss won't fracture the group", Oxlong insisted. "This playing group has been through much greater adversities than this: the 2016 Grand Final autopsy thread, the #sackhorse movement, and the COLA Wars were all strong tests of character and resilience and I can assure you this group will remain steady."

A rousing half time address by apparent guest of honour John Longmire was not enough, as some players were reportedly taken aback by what was his most attacking move as a coach in the last 3 years. When asked for comments after the game, Longmire just muttered under his breath about the lack of key forwards floating in the back line, before moving along.

Playing coach Mick Oxlong continues to have the full support of the board - seriously, this time!

===============================================================

Gold

 

[SwansProudly]

As Head of Media & Communications I will be releasing this online tomorrow morning:
===============================================================

Last night, the Sydney Swans board lost to the Bye - a team which has not won a game in it's 120 year existence. Despite a week's worth of preperation and careful team selection, the Swans board has critically failed to produce a winning result.

Head coach Mick Oxlong in his post-match press conference stated that "very few can hold their head high after tonight's performance. It was a complete breakdown across every line".

Spearhead The King! was reportedly seen yelling vehemently at his midfield group post-game, telling them to "lower your eyes, flogs!". The star full-forward kicked 2 goals for the game in a disappointing showing.

"As disappointing as this result was, this loss won't fracture the group", Oxlong insisted. "This playing group has been through much greater adversities than this: the 2016 Grand Final autopsy thread, the #sackhorse movement, and the COLA Wars were all strong tests of character and resilience and I can assure you this group will remain steady."

A rousing half time address by apparent guest of honour John Longmire was not enough, as some players were reportedly taken aback by what was his most attacking move as a coach in the last 3 years. When asked for comments after the game, Longmire just muttered under his breath about the lack of key forwards floating in the back line, before moving along.

Playing coach Mick Oxlong continues to have the full support of the board - seriously, this time!

===============================================================

Awesome

 

[Mick Oxlong]

I blame Mick Oxlong, no plan B!

I might have to reiterate that I did have a Plan B but once I started that ICE bath with Cuz...I forgot all about it! Actually, I forgot we were playing at all and subsequently didn’t even realize that I dragged myself early on in the match!

If there was a positive to come from all this, it’s that I have the continued support of the board due to a 100% strike rate (in defeat)! Hey, when did we recruit Cousins?

 

[Skeparovic]

Hey! Remember me? A.Stretcher?

I was the plan B, however none of you jokers injured yourselves so I was the headless chook resigned to lying on the sidelines by the bench watching you roosters chasing a footy. Was a pretty amusing game to be honest.

I may have gotten donuts in disposals, however I didn't have any clangers either and would have been really useful to curb Tim Membrey's influence in the 4th Quarter.

Use me wisely next bye aye! Bye!

 

[Nebley]

Some of my highlights:
4 : .13 {CHB} - He handpasses to Nebley.
4 : .18 {lHBF} - brad cooper receives his handpass.
4 : .22 {CHB} - Handpass over the shoulder to Nebley.
4 : .26 {CHB} - Nebley sells the dummy and helps himself to a bounce.
4 : .3 {C} - He has another one.

Important to note that following that run I managed to not actually dispose of the ball...

4 : 4.07 {CHB} - The ball is now with Nebley.
4 : 4.13 {rHBF} - Gets hands off within the nick of time.
4 : 4.17 {lW} - He kicks to a contest.

That's right, either I handpass the ball to my boot, or the handpass was so poor I had to follow it up myself.

4 : 18.34 {CHF} - Someone call a dentist. Logan Austin has run into Nebley and is hurting.
4 : 18.38 {CHB} - Nebley looks downfield.
4 : 18.42 {rW} - His kick is hurried.

That's right, the proverbial brick wall. Happy to see that even with my opponent apparently hurting and being under no pressure I STILL rushed the kick. True Swans football at its best.

 

[Jewelsbon]

Well done Sataris, a great read - even though we lost
I am absolutely gob smacked at the effort!

 

[Skeparovic]

Yes, well done indeed Sataris. That would have taken a lot of time to complete so thank you for making the big effort.

 

[Tuco]

Hear hear!

Kudos.

 

[Skeparovic]

Out: the biggest current injury list in AFL

In: whichever medicos or surgeons Brisbane or Adelaide have on their roster!

https://m.afl.com.au/news/2019-06-11/the-full-afl-injury-list-round-13

 

[Big Blood]

Thank god it's a bye (notwithstanding the above-mentioned heroics):

 

[Mick Oxlong]

Should be a close one...I’m tipping a draw!

 

[Mick Oxlong]

Out: the biggest current injury list in AFL

In: whichever medicos or surgeons Brisbane or Adelaide have on their roster!

https://m.afl.com.au/news/2019-06-11/the-full-afl-injury-list-round-13

Surely Tucker gets extended?

 

[The King!]

Surely Tucker gets extended?

Dont we all

 

[sataris]

Reserved

This post has more effort in it than some of our players this year.

 

[Mick Oxlong]

Surely Tucker gets extended?

Dont we all

You’ve written that like you were midway through a piss and the 2yo has grabbed the old fella!

 

[Mick Oxlong]

This post has more effort in it than some of our players this year.

Good to see the effort improved over the preseason!

 

[The King!]

You’ve written that like you were midway through a piss and the 2yo has grabbed the old fella!

what path are we going down here, im turning back

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

This is the 'Welcome Stranger' Gold nugget on the Board. Just re-read it and Kack Steele'd myself.

Supreme effort from Sataris and disturbing revelations about the playing coach's ice baths with Boundary 'Line' Benny.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

C'mon Sataris. The BF Swans Board is desperate to avenge our ignominious loss from last year.

 

[Cadsky]

Thank god it's a bye (notwithstanding the above-mentioned heroics):

View attachment 690752

Can't wait to get Updated back. Very important player across hb for us.

Surprised not too see A Stretcher on the list. He's made a very quiet recovery.

 

[GotTheGoodes]

Can't wait to get Updated back. Very important player across hb for us.

Surprised not too see A Stretcher on the list. He's made a very quiet recovery.

I'd like to see Thex Traman get a run too...

 

[GotTheGoodes]

Actually, wasn't Cole Lah on his way back from that suspension? Didn't he get a 9.8% discount from the MRP?

 

[sataris]

C'mon Sataris. The BF Swans Board is desperate to avenge our ignominious loss from last year.

Unfortunately Life has decided to kick me square in the vagina.

I'll see what I can do.