Moved Thread If Footy Clubs were Wrestlers

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Oct 2, 2008
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Brothers of Destruction
Carlton - Ric Flair


Both cocky, arrogant, almighty and successful, especially in the 70s and 80s. Loved to brag, and whether limousine ridin’ Or Lygon Street Parkin’, both were at the top of the mountain for a long time. Played second fiddle to more successful teams in those eras (Richmond and Hawthorn, Hogan and Savage) but ultimately ended with a massive total, 16 time world champions!


Sadly, it’s been a much tougher ride lately, and whether it’s divorces (4 of them) or wooden spoons (4 of them), fans always will remember the glory days.


Richmond - The Undertaker


Very successful entities, historically strikes fear into their opponents, whether it was captain blood Jack Dyer clobbering people or Mankind thrown off the hell in a cell.


Both have a habit of dominating and main eventing for long periods but both historically have gone missing from time to time, only to reinvent themselves and kick ass once again.


Who also can forget about the streak? Undertaker making it 23-2 at wrestle mania but was 21-0 until Brock Lesnar conquered the streak. Richmond have a 19-0 streak at the G’. A valuable lesson can be learnt, you can still win titles even if you’ve lost the streak.


Essendon - Hulk Hogan


Probably the two most successful entitles in their sport. The glory days are high, both are legends and revered with a loyal fan base. Whether it’s Hulkamania or Bomberland, their fans will always be loyal to them.


But all this success doesn’t come without controversy, Hogan admitting in a 92’ lawsuit by the federal government that he took steroids and also the drug saga that engulfed Essendon, both have had their highs and lows. But embrace the dark side bomber fans, it may bring a second wind of success for you like the NWO, and you may reach the top of the mountain again like Hollywood Hogan.


Collingwood - Triple H


No one has lost more Grand Finals than Collingwood. And no one has lost more at WrestleMania than Triple H. Both glory hogs who want nothing more than success, championships and they don’t care who they need to stomp on their way to the top. Whilst they’ve lost a lot, it has to be reinforced that both are still very successful.


The bad guys of their sport, but just like Triple H who has moved into corporate now, Eddie McGuire has been known to influence AFL House decisions too.


Although both not at the top right now, they’re just one win away from making the footy world and wrestling world groan with disappointment and anger.


Sydney - The Rock


Rocky Maivia and South Melbourne both weren’t workin’, so both had a makeover and became the Sydney Swans & The Rock. From the down days of winning three consecutive wooden spoons and wrestling for hot dogs, both entities are now empires. Sydney always making the 8, getting into grand finals and winning premierships and the The Rock, who is always a danger to win a WWE Championship if he’s around, and let’s not forget, he’s dominating Hollywood.


North Melbourne - Chris Jericho


The first ever Undisputed World Champion calls himself the best in the world, the goat and it’s so appropriate to remind ourselves of another goat, the duck, Wayne Carey. Just like Jericho became the only man to win the WCW Championship and WWF Championship at the same time by defeating The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin on the same night, North became the first and only club to win the centenary premiership, that dare I say...is the only GOLD trophy ever handed out by the AFL.


When North were at the coal face of a relocation fiasco to move to the Gold Coast in the mid 00s, Jericho was fired by Eric Bischoff after being unsuccessful in defeating John Cena and winning the WWE Championship. Both Jericho and North have had great highs and incredibly lows, but one thing is the same, they’re both pitballs that fight on and never give up, whilst North was pencilled in for the wooden spoon this year, Jericho defied the odds by surviving life when his closest friends all died around him in a sport full of tragedy.


Hawthorn - Stone Cold Steve Austin


Both known for being hell raisers, kicking ass and taking names. Both entities have enjoyed incredible success and have been hailed as the best of their times.


The rattlesnake would raise a glass to the tough brutes of the Hawks including Leigh Matthews, Luke Hogde and the silk of Cyril Rioli and Shaun Burgoyne. And I’m sure Lethal Leigh would approve of this comparison.


Adelaide Crows - Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart


The Adelaide Crows and Bret Hart both peaked in the mid to late 90s. Their rise came at the same time, that saw both entities at the pinnacle of their profession. With Bret, it was Shawn Michaels that Vince favoured, the man Vince placed in the box seat to take that mantel from Bret, but Hart fought from underneath and climbed to the top of the mountain again and again. Very reminiscent of Adelaide’s finals campaigns, unlikely to win the premierships but getting the job done.


Both however have faced darker days recently, Bret’s brother Owen Hart tragically died whilst performing a stunt at a wrestling show, and Adelaide losing Phil Walsh in the saddest of circumstances, both have fought on though, and continue to be an inspiration for many. The Hitman raises awareness and funds for prostate cancer, which he conquered recently and the Crows won the minor premiership last year in statistically one of their most successful years in the history.


Gold Coast - The Shockmaster


The first club to debut in the league since Port Adelaide in 1997, everyone was excited for their debut in the sunshine state. Brand new stadium built, and who could forget Karmichael Hunt’s debut and the signing of Gary Ablett? But just like the Shockmaster, as Fred Ottoman stumbled through that wall, fell face first into the ground, where his stormtrooper glittery helmet fell off his head, both have been incredible failures of the highest order and embarrassments to their profession.


Geelong Cats - Shawn Michaels


Many would argue that Shawn Michaels is the greatest wrestler of all, and let’s not forget Geelong call themselves the greatest team of all with arguably the greatest players of them all, both of the Abletts.


Shawn Michaels has had a decorated career with multiple world championships and incredible 5 star matches, let’s not forget it was Geelong that have played in some of greatest finals of all time, a list which includes the 1967 and 1989 Grand Finals.


Both are cocky, entertaining and known for losing their smile (Geelong’s supporters for not played their home final at Skilled Stadium and Shawn for not putting over Bret Hart at WrestleMania 13) They beat up on small folk, Shawn Michaels had a habit of burying talent backstage such as The Rock when he was Rocky Maivia, Vader, Edge and Mike Knox...he was spot on about the last one and Geelong loved beating up on weaker teams, holding the record for the highest ever VFL/AFL score of 239 and only recently holding monster victories against Richmond (157), Melbourne (186) and Port Adelaide (119)...IN A GRANNY!!


West Coast - Edge


Edge and West Coast fit together like a glove. Both with storied histories, championships, premierships, all in a short amount of time, from all the interstate clubs, West Coast are the most decorated with 3 premierships and 5 or 6 grand final appearances in a short amount of time. Edge also won 10 world championships from 2006-2010, a time where both teams were dominate, but just like the eagles won their first spoon in 2010, Edge was forced into retirement due to a spinal cord injury.


They also aren’t without their controversies, whilst the eagles had their recreational drug use, Edge also made real life into a storyline when he had sex with his best friends (Matt Hardy) girlfriend and got him fired for it too.



Fremantle - Matt Hardy


Long career, long time in the AFL and no championship wins from their of them. Both have shown promise, Matt Hardy with his deletion gimmick and Fremantle with their Nat Fyfe selection at the draft and 2013 grand final appearance, but alas, times as a Matt Hardy supporter and Fremantle fan are both met with disappointment. However, there’s still a chance for the both of them.


Melbourne - Kane


Brother of The Undetaker, they share the same home, MCG or Parts Unknown. Kane has set his home on fire as a child and you argue Melbourne have done the same with some their losses, they’ve both been around forever. Melbourne are the second oldest organized sporting club in the world - well I never checked that fact, a school bus driver told me this and Kane has appeared in more Royal Rumbles than any other superstar in history.


Both very successful with storied histories, Melbourne is about to embark on their first finals campaign in years whilst Kane...Kane has been elected major of Knox County, Tennessee!


Western Bulldogs - Christian


The joy on Christian’s face when he won the World Championship, 18 years into a storied career everyone cherished was legit. Revered by fellow wrestlers, it was Christian that Randy Orton said was his favorite opponent, not John Cena, who the WWE narrative want you to believe.


Vince McMahon never viewed Christian as a world champion and just like the bulldogs, the ride didn’t last long, Christian lost the title after five days and the doggies having a premiership hangover that’s hitting the two year mark now. Both with 2 world titles, both underdogs and both celebrated and appreciated in their line of work.


GWS Giants - Roman Reigns


Given everything on a silver platter but have both done nothing. Everyone kinda hates them too for taking away their opportunity, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan all victims of Roman Reigns push and Carlton, StKilda, Fremantle haven’t been getting decent selections at the draft only until recently, because GWS held all the picks.


However, very dangerous and expecting them to both come good soon. GWS have lost a few preliminary finals; whilst the Big Dog has lost to Brock Lesnar ever since Wrestlemania 31 and we’ve just passed WM34 a few months ago lol.


Brisbane Lions - Randy Orton


Lots of championships in a short period of time and both have produced angst amongst their rivals. Randy s**t in Joy Giovanni’s bag back in 2004 whilst Brisbane gave a platform to such tossers like Jason Akermanis and the Scott Brothers. Both missing for a while and now with that second career burst and naturally, the Fitzroy Lions were Cowboy Bob Orton!


St. Kilda - Ted DiBiase


Born again Christian Ted DiBiase would probably follow St. Kilda, their big supporter base which can rival Richmond’s if successful fits in perfectly with a very popular DiBiase who was one of the finest wrestlers in the 80s to never win a world title. Vince McMahon made the million dollar character reflect himself so he was always attached to it.


We’ve also skewed for inflation and the million dollar man wasn’t wise with his money and 30 years later than boast is very underwhelming, just like making 3 grand finals in 15 years and losing them all...bar one, which was a draw.


Port Adelaide - Dusty Rhodes


Never won a title in the big leagues but always respected. Both represent the working class and both have had failures, Dusty in the WWF with the polka dots, and Port Adelaide in the 2007 Grand Final. The memory of Dusty lives on as his son Cody is kicking ass, just like Port as this year.
 
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So I know absolutely nothing of wrestling because I'm not inbred and I have a job, but holy s**t, reading the delusional opinion of what Richmond stands for made this thread worth reading (and by reading the thread, I mean I read the Richmond one then stopped).
 

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Is King Kong Bundy still going around? GAJ
 

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