Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2018

[leobarryustar]

https://www.bendigoadvertiser.com.a...-new-challenge-with-white-hills-photos/?cs=12

Might go well in a more professional environment that at Carlton

Trained with Carlton (for free) for two months trying to get relisted .... now looking forward to getting out of the 'Melbourne bubble'

 

[This Is Anfield]

It really pains me to see you lot laughing at Carlton... it really does!

 

[Spongebob]

Would be fascinated to know how many former Giant/current Blues players have made it onto this list in the last 3 years.

With 7 wins in 2016, 6 wins in 2017, and 2 wins in 2018, SOS's strategy is clearly working.

SOS is going for the jackpot:

 

[Mofra]

Player #20 - Will Langford



Pictured: Um, is that... hairgel?

Will Langford played one good game (a Grand Final) which covers a multitude of sins for a while, but not forever.

Described as a weirdo by his teammates, I'll just leave this here (courtesy of Sam Mitchell):

“They warned us about his clothing,” he said.

“He had jocks on the other day and the boys were like ‘What jocks are they?’ and he goes: ‘I don’t know, they’re not even mine, they might be my dad’s or my brother’s, I couldn’t even tell you’. He is different.”

Will is the son of Chris who had a career so long and decorated it could be triple-Brownlow medalist Ian Stewart's Saturday dinner dress (look it up if you're not sure what I'm talking about). His dad had an amazing career and a very poor 89 Grand Final in which Gazza Snr (the 'slightly killy' one, not the mercenary one) kicked nine goals on Langford but still lost. Football is a weird sport.

Anyway on to Will. Not sure where the hell his best position is but it seems to be 'overseas' given he isn't a threat rebounding from defence, doesn't kick goals regularly and as a run with player he doesn't really stop the opposition. He does however have beautiful, beautiful hair so has been a fan favourite over the years NTTAWWT.

He averaged 11 touches this year and 2 and a half clangers, kicked no goals from his 6 games and was largely left out of the side as Hawthorn preferred "anyone traded in from another club, ever" as Hawthorn stick to their strategy of 'not developing anyone'. Actually that's not true, they do have one promising youngster on their list they are developing, Ryan Burton. I suspect he'll have a long career.

Anyway back to Will. He...um... has nice hair. And he once described himself as a "one-man wolf pack" which displays a stunning misunderstanding of the concept of social order in migratory predators.

Anyway Will, good luck with whatever you decide to do next year. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.

 

[Starburns_]

He is one of 8 children (begin from Gippsland, I assume that's from 9 different fathers) and his name is Jed so despite all the sniping and scragging on field I kind of feel for the guy. A cursory glance at his online history indicates that in December 2016 he even tried selling the big issue for a day which is the first time in history a listed Carlton player made an honest living.

Will is the son of Chris who had a career so long and decorated it could be triple-Brownlow medalist Ian Stewart's Saturday dinner dress (look it up if you're not sure what I'm talking about). His dad had an amazing career and a very poor 89 Grand Final in which Gazza Snr (the 'slightly killy' one, not the mercenary one) kicked nine goals on Langford but still lost. Football is a weird sport.

Worth the long timeframe for gems like these.

 

[Mojorisin]

"The slightly killy one"

 

[Dinsdale]

Player #20 - Will Langford

Pictured: Um, is that... hairgel?

Will Langford played one good game (a Grand Final) which covers a multitude of sins for a while, but not forever.

Described as a weirdo by his teammates, I'll just leave this here (courtesy of Sam Mitchell):


Will is the son of Chris who had a career so long and decorated it could be triple-Brownlow medalist Ian Stewart's Saturday dinner dress (look it up if you're not sure what I'm talking about). His dad had an amazing career and a very poor 89 Grand Final in which Gazza Snr (the 'slightly killy' one, not the mercenary one) kicked nine goals on Langford but still lost. Football is a weird sport.

Anyway on to Will. Not sure where the hell his best position is but it seems to be 'overseas' given he isn't a threat rebounding from defence, doesn't kick goals regularly and as a run with player he doesn't really stop the opposition. He does however have beautiful, beautiful hair so has been a fan favourite over the years NTTAWWT.

He averaged 11 touches this year and 2 and a half clangers, kicked no goals from his 6 games and was largely left out of the side as Hawthorn preferred "anyone traded in from another club, ever" as Hawthorn stick to their strategy of 'not developing anyone'. Actually that's not true, they do have one promising youngster on their list they are developing, Ryan Burton. I suspect he'll have a long career.

Anyway back to Will. He...um... has nice hair. And he once described himself as a "one-man wolf pack" which displays a stunning misunderstanding of the concept of social order in migratory predators.

Anyway Will, good luck with whatever you decide to do next year. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2018.

all us Hawfs can accept this thanks to his 2014 season, including his 3 goals in the GF against $hitney.

 

[Mofra]

all us Hawfs can accept this thanks to his 2014 season, including his 3 goals in the GF against $hitney.

Spuds kicking 3 goals against Sydney in a GF? Unheard of...

 

[Holy Rioli]

Will Langford played one good game (a Grand Final) which covers a multitude of sins for a while, but not forever.

This will not be forgotten, and expectations have now been set. For what it's worth he was excellent throughout the whole finals series and kept Brad Sewell out of the GF team.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Those Yarram jokes though

 

[darklake]

Spuds kicking 3 goals against Sydney in a GF? Unheard of...

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Will Langford played one good game (a Grand Final) which covers a multitude of sins for a while, but not forever.

Tom Boyd should be getting more and more nervous right about now.

 

[Starburns_]

Tom Boyd should be getting more and more nervous right about now.

They call that foreshadowing.

 

[TedDougChris]

They call that foreshadowing.

Like casting Sean Bean as a character in a movie or TV show, but more subtle.....

 

[Starburns_]

Like casting Sean Bean as a character in a movie or TV show, but more subtle.....

A cheap and easy movie twist would be to cast Sean Bean and not kill him off.

 

[TedDougChris]

A cheap and easy movie twist would be to cast Sean Bean and not kill him off.

I would be ‘shocked to be sitting there’.....

 

[ossie_21]

Tom Boyd should be getting more and more nervous right about now.

Please change your avatar. I keep thinking you are a $alty $ydney fan!

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Please change your avatar. I keep thinking you are a $alty $ydney fan!

Yessir.

Just needed a photo in the new jumper to become available.

 

[Ant_]

They call that foreshadowing.

I was going to go with "thatsthejoke.jpg"

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Yessir.

Just needed a photo in the new jumper to become available.

Since when did Pacman demand so much respect?

 

[ossie_21]

Yessir.

Just needed a photo in the new jumper to become available.

Ok, sweet

 

[evo]

"The slightly killy one"

yeah that alone was worth the price of admission.

 

[WillHayward]

they do have one promising youngster on their list they are developing, Ryan Burton. I suspect he'll have a long career.

 

[Mofra]

Player #19 - Levi Casboult

Pictured: Levi won the 'monkey-see, monkey-do' competition by mimicking fans who watch him play

Levi Casboult is a Carlton forward which means he is almost a part-time footballer. Except of course he occasionally goes into the ruck to remind us he's slow and uncoordinated there too.

Levi played 10 games this year (for 10 losses) and performed about as well as you'd expect the 4th forward option for the wooden spoon team to perform. He had one outlyer game against Collingwood where he kicked four goals, managed 14 disposals and had 11 hit-outs. Outside of this game he had a disposal count so low it could double for Shaun Marsh's recent test totals, applied about as much defensive pressure as a Menzel on Valium and after the first four rounds he averaged one hit-out per game while maintaining his goal per game output and of course he averaged less than one tackle per game.

Put simply he's good overhead but if he doesn't mark it he's about as useful as a fairy floss lifeboat, and in the modern AFL era you need to be good at more than one thing. At least he is a lot more accurate for goal this year, going at 54% which is at least a pass at high school (no wait come back Pies fans).

To put it another way he signed a two year contract extension with Carlton at the end of 2017 after being shopped around and he was again shopped around this year, yielding less interest than a Whoopi Goldberg sex tape. Like her eyebrows, opposition list managers just disappeared (seriously, she has no eyebrows. Google it. It's weird).

Good, You're back.

Anyway Levi will be on Carlton's list one more year as back-up to their non-performers so there is a chance he snags a game or two so I get to write a little more about him next year.
Levi, mate. Good luck over the pre-season, welcome back to the Bottom 50.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Wait!!! Did Whoopi make a sex tape? Not interested , just morbid curiosity.