- Banned
- #51
Scientists in Russia have come up with a theory as to why this thread became unstickied earlier. Citing seismic data from various points around the world, the Russian geophysicists have calculated that a global geologic event occurred around 12.15am (local time) with an epicentre located somewhere in the bayside of Melbourne.
The seismic event was witnessed by several startled locals. Restaurant patron Brick Skithouse was having a late night meal with his partner when they noticed the arrival of G-Train. "He sat at the table directly beside ours." said Skithouse. "He ordered a cow, medium rare and began to drink from kegs provided by the bar staff. He was ripping the tops off them with his bare teeth, he then drained the contents of each keg and chucked the empties over his shoulder."
"The forklift arrived with his dinner," continued Skithouse "and that's when it happened... he had sat down to his meal, he reached out for the salt and pepper, well.." he hesitated before explaining further "the pepper shaker simply wasn't built to take the G-forces he applied and all of a sudden there was this cloud of pepper."
A solemn looking Skithouse continued "The build up was impressive, we all knew he was gonna sneeze...but nothing had prepared us for the blast. I lost my left arm and half my face, my girlfriend is still in critical care and well...you can see what he did to the buildings along the street here."
Another patron lucky to have been on the lee side of the sneeze - explained "now we know why they're called G-forces" he said.