Lame Jokes Part 2

May 20, 2001
39,274
51,394
Kufa, Iraq
AFL Club
Adelaide
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Banhammer Big House Under 70s
An Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk,when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water,subsequently bumping into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,whereupon, he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk shouts, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him anddunks him in the water.He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer.He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?"

The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again –but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds,and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk,"For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water,catches his breath, and says to the preacher,"Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
 
Feb 24, 2013
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37,740
The GoldenBrown Heart of Victoria
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Hawthorn
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Man Utd Green Bay Melb Storm
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Mar 21, 2016
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Down South Corvus Tristis
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Adelaide
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Sturt, White Sox
Met this gorgeous lady today, who had the misfortune of being born with one leg longer than the other.....Her name was Eileen.

She then introduced me to her identical sister, who was born with the same malady....She was called Lena.
Their brother with a below the knee amputation?

Neil
 
May 20, 2001
39,274
51,394
Kufa, Iraq
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Banhammer Big House Under 70s
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around K-Mart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too.... I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?'

To which the old guy says, Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours." :think:
 
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