Life

[revo333]

Saw 2 mates over Xmas havent seen them for about 5 years, may have texted them 5 or 6 times in that period and talked to them about the same.
We spent about 6 hours together each and could have probably done many hours more.

We used to see each other daily for decades nothings changed just family, age,circumstances and distance.

It's a fact of life as we get older, i've gone a year or 2 sometimes not in contact with one of my mates but when we have a conversation it could go for hours and there has always been an understanding that life can sometimes get in the way.

But most of my mates I don't even bother trying to catch up with anymore.

 

[Run n Spread]

there is a balance here

working for free doesn't make sense unless you are doing work experience, which every high school kid should do. Work experience isn't working at maccas, rather it should be aligned to the career of choice.

If you are a long term unemployed, you should be volunteering. Imagine the same person giving one of two responses at an interview:
question "are you working at the moment?"
answer "nup"

"when was your last job?"
"6 months ago"

In the interviewer's mind........brad pitt in true romance

View attachment 804287


vs

question "are you working at the moment?"
answer "I'm working for ronald macdonald house, cooking meals for kids hospital on Friday nights and plating trees with the friends of lake claremont"

"you have two jobs?"
"Yes, I am a motivated person and like working. So I joined this charity and volunteer with the community as they require commitments on a Friday night and on the weekend. That way I could remain active but keep the week days free to look for full time work."

In the interviewer's mind........motivated - tick, plans - tick, has a brain - tick, give him a job? - tick

Nah an employer will hire based on is this person valuable and can they add to the bottom line. It is the women delemna if someone is long term unemployed they are seen as damaged goods yet if there are multiple employers chasing/poaching then the job seeker is seen as valuable. Why a footy coach can be out of action but a trend changes and all of a sudden panic hits and decisions are made.
As much as I hate it what's got me out of unemployment is coming on strong acting extroverted and pushing for an answer. Or change industries/ work for yourself. Am in a different career path now so can develop professionally but you need to create options

 

[DaRick]

Nah an employer will hire based on is this person valuable and can they add to the bottom line. It is the women delemna if someone is long term unemployed they are seen as damaged goods yet if there are multiple employers chasing/poaching then the job seeker is seen as valuable. Why a footy coach can be out of action but a trend changes and all of a sudden panic hits and decisions are made.
As much as I hate it what's got me out of unemployment is coming on strong acting extroverted and pushing for an answer. Or change industries/ work for yourself. Am in a different career path now so can develop professionally but you need to create options

Yes, employers look for skills and experience. In my experience, they rarely have regard to whether you volunteer or have volunteered, which is why the link between volunteering and paid employment is rather weak.

Volunteering can be useful for gaining paid employment, but you must make sure 1) you can afford the ongoing cost of volunteering, 2) you get enough hours and 3) you're actually learning or doing job-relevant stuff/skills.

Unfortunately, volunteer organisations tend to dislike taking on unemployed people because they don't wish to waste training/resources on someone who is just going to leave for paid employment ASAP. Plus giving volunteers sufficient hours/training is not really a priority even if they're taken on - they're not expected to stay long, so why bother?

 

[Gigantic]

Just caught up with a bunch of friends, some I haven't seen for at least 3 or 4 years. Good catch up.

 

[norway blue]

Where did you go Gi and what happened?


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[Gigantic]

Where did you go Gi and what happened?


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BBQ at one of their houses - just caught up on what everyone has done over the years. Most were still in contact but I hadn't been frequently keeping in touch with most there.

 

[norway blue]

Yeah a bit the same for me but I do have contact with a few mates and ex girlfriends . My mates go back a long way but just on phone these days. Weird thing is that none of my mates are into footy .?!!


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[Hawk Dork]

Yeah a bit the same for me but I do have contact with a few mates and ex girlfriends . My mates go back a long way but just on phone these days. Weird thing is that none of my mates are into footy .?!!


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only 1 is
Though the other one pretended to be a Richmond fan to come to a few games a year with me
He doesnt pretend anymore
His wife takes his son to Carlton games

 

[BACCS]

Just caught up with a bunch of friends, some I haven't seen for at least 3 or 4 years. Good catch up.

Did the same yesterday as well with friends I haven’t seen in 2-3 years, sometimes life just gets hectic and you don’t see people you’re close to for a while, but it never feels that long when you eventually catchup. Good times.

 

[norway blue]

only 1 is
Though the other one pretended to be a Richmond fan to come to a few games a year with me
He doesnt pretend anymore
His wife takes his son to Carlton games

Im re reading this post.


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[ioppolo]

Reading posts about those who are catching up after two or more years is depressing. Unless someone has moved interstate/internationally, there's no way I'd not catch up every so often.

 

[norway blue]

You all ways friends polo . It’s the less is more . Be cool .


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[edgie]

I'm a bad mate lately, but when you have a full on baby, little family support, and a partner that struggles when I'm at work with a bit of post natal then unfortunately taking time away from home just isn't option if you give a s**t and live this side of a time when 'women's work' was an acceptable expression.

 

[Hawk Dork]

Reading posts about those who are catching up after two or more years is depressing. Unless someone has moved interstate/internationally, there's no way I'd not catch up every so often.

Nah
Its excellent
I dont want friends in my life every minute but when we catch up its really good and theres heaps of good stuff to say and then we go back to our cave for a few more years

 

[Shell]

Dont see my hs mates anymore- we all really put in a good effort, catching up once a month or so for a good ten years after high school. Those days are clearly over now, havent done that for a good 5 years now.

Otherwise see mates thru footy + catch up with them in the off season occasionally.

Also go to meet ups sometimes, try meet new ppl that way.

 

[craigos]

Reading posts about those who are catching up after two or more years is depressing. Unless someone has moved interstate/internationally, there's no way I'd not catch up every so often.

I can't fathom how people can isolate themselves for that long and don't give me BS about being busy with family etc. If they're your real good friends you catch up as often as possible not once every couple of years.

I live interstate from my core group of lifetime friends and we still catch up once every 6 months at absolute worst.

 

[Hawk Dork]

I can't fathom how people can isolate themselves for that long and don't give me BS about being busy with family etc. If they're your real good friends you catch up as often as possible not once every couple of years.

I live interstate from my core group of lifetime friends and we still catch up once every 6 months at absolute worst.

We are busy and interstate and lazy and not needy and know if we really need each other we are still there
Ive known one friend since I was about 5 and the other since I was 11 or 12
We lived around the corner, grew up together, went to school and uni together,were in a band together, went everywhere together, did everything together

and when we catch up its great fun
and when we dont its still ok

 

[Scotland]

I still see some people anywhere from primary school in the early 90s through to jobs in the 2010s. Don't see all of them but then don't want to either. Very few people I don't see as often as I'd like other than by distance. People do romanticise distance though, especially on social media. I've got friends in Melbourne for example who I'll usually catch up with if I'm there, but if they were in Perth I'd probably still only see them a couple of times a year.

It's pretty natural for people to come and go through life. My oldest friends (i.e. the few from primary school days) I've grown apart from and rarely see, but when I do see them they are still people I've known for most of my life. I do think it's important not to just stay friends with people because you feel compelled to for one reason or another. People go in different directions and that's OK. I don't know if it's more of a private school thing but I've met people with a group of school friends and they seem to really want to keep that group together and are almost hostile to outsiders. Like they made friends on year 9 camp and then the door closed for ins and outs. And this is blokes in their 30s, not J'amie King on Summer Heights High. Weird. I see it more as high school friends being friends that I just happened to meet when I was at high school and groups overlap.

Went to a wedding of a high school friend not that long ago and of our common friends at the wedding more than half didn't go to our school, and of all the friends of the bride and groom (i.e. everyone that isn't family or invited because of family) I probably knew fewer than half of them. IMO that's a pretty healthy dynamic.

 

[Gigantic]

Everyone has different friend group dynamics. The group I caught up with last night was an extended group of about 15 of us who went to school together but have since grown up and settled into smaller or different groups.

I have one friend who I'm close with but don't see much. We keep in touch throughout the week but we only catch up maybe every 6 or so months, at least in the last year or two. Before that it was almost every month as we'd be at the same gatherings and whatnot. These days we only see each other when traveling together or at a major gathering.

 

[PT Bar None]

only 1 is
Though the other one pretended to be a Richmond fan to come to a few games a year with me
He doesnt pretend anymore
His wife takes his son to Carlton games

I'm assuming the kid had been misbehaving?

 

[Hawk Dork]

I'm assuming the kid had been misbehaving?

Poor kid had no choice if he wanted to go to the footy he had to go with his mum to the Blues
Lucky she is a psychologist so she can help sort out the trauma following the Blues will inevitably bring

 

[t_94]

I find when i do catch up with mates thay the chat simply isn't what it was in the glory days. Everyone has become a boring campaigner and the talk centres around work and life progression, rather than the riffing and ripping on each other that I found to be so enjoyable.

 

[edgie]

I find when i do catch up with mates thay the chat simply isn't what it was in the glory days. Everyone has become a boring campaigner and the talk centres around work and life progression, rather than the riffing and ripping on each other that I found to be so enjoyable.

That sounds awful to me. This idea that to be a bloke with mates you have to take the piss out of one another.

I'd much rather share time with mates doing and discussing things we enjoy, sharing good times, and if need, laughing at the expense of others, not ourselves.


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[Cuzz09]

We just talk about sport, tv shows, movies, cars and weird s**t on the internet

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[craigos]

That sounds awful to me. This idea that to be a bloke with mates you have to take the piss out of one another.

I'd much rather share time with mates doing and discussing things we enjoy, sharing good times, and if need, laughing at the expense of others, not ourselves.


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So you're happy to laugh at the expense of others but not yourselves? One is done in good fun, the other is not. I'll let you decide which is which.