Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[haveago]

A university lecture on the supernatural and right at the back of the hall sits a young student fellow taking it all in.
Lecturer asks all if they have ever seen a spirit and a dozen people raise their hands.
Encouraged and excited he asks if anybody has ever had contact with a supernatural being.
Three raise their hands. Encouraged even more he
finally he asks if anybody has ever had a sexual encounter with a ghost?
And at the back the young fellow puts his hand up!!
Almost overcome with excitement he calls him up to the front and asks him, please, please share with all of us this sexual experience with a ghost you had.

…. Oh so so sorry he says, from back there I thought you said GOAT!!

 

[Contested Marx]

Yeah go back to the Carlton board with that

 

[haveago]

Yeah go back to the Carlton board with that

Sorry to offend, didn't even realize this was an exclusive Port Adelaide thread at first. Just enjoying the jokes.
Pity, we could all do with a good laugh right now.
See you round like a pie floater

 

[chachi11]

Sorry to offend, didn't even realize this was an exclusive Port Adelaide thread at first. Just enjoying the jokes.
Pity, we could all do with a good laugh right now.
See you round like a pie floater

We're a friendly bunch around here.....keep the jokes coming....although your avatar reminds me of growing up with 80's pr0n.

 

[haveago]

A young naive wide mouthed frog was hopping along when he came across a deer drinking at the river.
Intrigued he said "what are you?" The deer says I am a deer.
Oh, he says and what do you eat. She says grass, shrubs, leaves.
Oh he says have a good day.
Not far along he meets up with a turtle.
What are you he says?
A turtle he responds.
What do you eat?
Well I eat insects, worms and bugs.
Very good he says and hops on his way.
Not far upstream he sees a crocidile!
What the F--K are you he asks?
A corocidile . MMmmm, and what do you eat?
Fish, crabs and wide mouth frogs.
He closes his mouth and says quietly "YOU DONT SEE MANY OF THEM AROUND HERE!!!

 

[haveago]

We're a friendly bunch around here.....keep the jokes coming....although your avatar reminds me of growing up with 80's pr0n.

And that is a bad thing? Seems to be a common denominator here.
Another one of your faithful said something about Ron Jeremy??
Got a pretty good idea what you will all be up to if we lockdown

 

[GranFormaggi]

That's 'cause he ate a bat. Here is is pictured with said bat

View attachment 846985

You'd better sort out that Aussie Citizenship mate.

 

[GranFormaggi]

A German regiment was facing their commander who says to them,
"Today ve have some gut news und some bad news"
"First the gut news. Half of you will go to Russia, Half to Berlin"
"Now the bad news. Top half to Russia, Bottom half to Berlin"

 

[pastmyprimus]

Border control found a single roll of toilet paper hidden in a suitcase filled with cocaine.

 

[Contested Marx]

Sorry to offend, didn't even realize this was an exclusive Port Adelaide thread at first. Just enjoying the jokes.
Pity, we could all do with a good laugh right now.
See you round like a pie floater

Yeah dunno jokes that are racist just not my thing you know

 

[El_Scorcho]

Internet dead baby jokes what is this 2005?

 

[El_Scorcho]

Why did the chicken coop only have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it'd be a chicken sedan.

 

[Dutchy5150]

Bono and the Edge walk into a bar.
The Barman say's, "Oh not U2 again".

 

[Dutchy5150]

What do you call a lady who destroys all her bills???

Bernadette.

 

[pastmyprimus]

The birth of my daughter
Wedding day
2004 grand final
Scoring a 20 pack of triple ply toilet roles at Coles this morning

 

[RussellEbertHandball]

No toilet paper humour?

 

[Tredz]

No toilet paper humour?

Nah! It's crap!

 

[Jack_1870]

Two blonde girls going for a walk come across some animal tracks.
''Look Kangaroo tracks'' says one
''No way'' says the other,''That's definitely a snake track''
So after a few minutes of arguing.
''There's only one way to settle this,lets follow them and see who's right!''
A few minutes later they both get hit by a train.

 

[TheFVK]

What's black and white and re(a)d all over?

A newspaper

A sunburnt penguin

Port Adelaide's 2020 financial balance sheets

 

[GremioPower]

Yeah go back to the Carlton board with that

We prefer sheeps around here!

 

[bomberclifford]

 

[Alberton Proud]

Does anybody remember the joke about Johnny Farquarder? I can't remember the lead up or the punchline, but jeez we laughed in 1983.

Something something
Jana’s vent

 

[philreich]

That's 'cause he ate a bat. Here is is pictured with said bat

View attachment 846985

What's the difference between Prince Charles' missus and Muttiah Muralitharan? Camilla Parker Bowles.

 

[Alberton Proud]

What does an dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do ?

Lay in bed wondering if there really is a dog

 

[Schulzenfest]