A teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely...
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This is one is gold. Very classy.A teacher told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic, but so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely...
Miss Beatrice, the church organist was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this? Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.
Did she get ribbed?
Reminds me of the joke about when the West Indies were touring Australia and Michael Holding and Joel Garner were taking a piss off of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Holding turns to Garner and says "Hey mon, the water's not too cold". Garner replies "It's not that deep either."A guy gets his fiancee's name, Wendy, tattooed on his dick while in an aroused state... don't ask me how that happened, presumably drugs were involved. In default mode all the penis tattoo says is "WY".
Anyway, they get married and take a Caribbean tour for their honeymoon. Standing at a urinal, old mate notices that the local gentleman beside him also has "WY" on his utensil, and says "Your missus is a Wendy too, huh?"
"Oh, no, it says 'Welcome to Jamaica, I hope you enjoy your stay'."
Sorry not sorry.
My wife's birthday is May 3rd. I thought the same thing!I will have to remember that one on Sunday
I will have to remember that one on Sunday
Second Sunday of May, if you follow the US and Brazil.Mothers days not this week is it?
Mothers days not this week is it?