Dad jokes - add yours

[Mav]

Why are crabs always tired?

Cause they sleep in snatches.

 

[krakouers]

If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.

 

[jimandphilbadge]

One my dad pinched from twitter (is it still a dad joke if a dad tells his son in his 40s, but wouldn't expect a child to get the joke? Anyway....):

Prince Charles is self isolating with Covid-19

Prince Andrew is self isolating with Sophie-15

 

[giantroo]

 

[Hojuman]

If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.

I still don't get this

 

[Harvey Manfrenjensenden]

I still don't get this

postmen deliver letters

 

[big_e]

Did you hear about the American army officer who lived in a toilet?

He was a lieutenant.

 

[KiwiRoo]

Hey thanks heaps for all the contributions people. Some of them are even funny !

been sharing a lot of these with the workmates as we're all in self isolation and its been very much appreciated to lighten the mood !

 

[Mav]

One my dad pinched from twitter (is it still a dad joke if a dad tells his son in his 40s, but wouldn't expect a child to get the joke? Anyway....):

Prince Charles is self isolating with Covid-19

Prince Andrew is self isolating with Sophie-15

Didn’t Prince Charles get Covid because he’s been munching an old bat?

Why don’t the Chinese play cricket?

Because the keep eating all the bats.

 

[Supreme_Chancellor]

A book fell on my head
I only have my shelf to blame.

 

[gokangas]

What do you call a Woolworths that has burnt down?

Coles.

 

[see see]

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg?

Irene

 

[Hojuman]

What do you call a woman with one leg?

Eileen

What do you call a Japanese woman with one leg?

Irene

Worth See

 

[SonofSamsquanch]

Where do ladies have the curliest hair?
























Fiji







Apparently.

 

[krakouers]

I bought some shoes from my local drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

 

[Falconista]

My partner said they'd leave me unless I mastered page 20 of the Kamasutra..

It put me in a difficult position.

 

[krakouers]

My partner said they'd leave me unless I mastered page 20 of the Kamasutra..

It put me in a difficult position.

ok, you may stay

 

[krakouers]

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

 

[krakouers]

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

 

[Bertie22]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

 

[Orange Peanut]

My friends say I'm too condescending.

That means I talk down to people.

 

[see see]

My friends say I'm too condescending.

That means I talk down to people.

So it has nothing to do with being a Greek skydiver?

 

[billnats]

So it has nothing to do with being a Greek skydiver?

What do you call a Greek cleaner? Domestos
What do you call a rich Greek? Eftpos

 

[Falconista]

One I was told this morning:

What’s the best bit about Switzerland?

I don’t know but the flag is a big plus

 

[krakouers]