RichLeMonde
Club Legend
I don't think he is an Essendon player. I think he was just a derro walking past and heard the chatter about drugs and wandered in hoping to get high by osmosis.
Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2020
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RichLeMonde
Club Legend
Last edited:
Stan_Darsh72
Hall of Famer
- Jun 18, 2011
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RichLeMonde
Club Legend
Are you telling me that a club with this bloke as its patron saint could somehow be ****ed?
I'd forgotten how 'clever' Michael Hurley was. What a play on words. So subtle I almost missed it.
He looks like the one at the boy band disbanding press conference that knows his lucrative solo career is starting. The others know they are looking at stints on Celebrity Apprentice or breakfast radio.
RichLeMonde
Club Legend
I presumed his t-shirt was subtly alluding to the exact level of responsibility that the players took for agreeing to go off site to an anti-ageing clinic for injections from a doctor other than the club doctor, without the latter's knowledge
RichLeMonde
Club Legend
That’s Fremantle champion Travis Colyer whose feet go quicker than his brain.
Kabanna
#VagGang4Life
I did indeed forget about that
- Banned
- #1,012
nah id give the award to hurley who is clearly trying to look like he is wearing the highest of high pants
Bont2Bruce
At the Destination Club
- Mar 15, 2012
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Must have been awfully sunny inside that room for so many to have needed to wear a hat.
Mofra
Moderator
- Dec 6, 2005
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- Thread starter
- Moderator
- #1,014
Player #19 - Josh Schache
Pictured: Josh is upset to learn that unlike Bevo, he doesn't have a second set of eyes on his neck
Josh Schache is KPF-sized forward flanker with the consistency of a small forward.
Drafted at pick #2 by the Brisbane Lions, he famously requested a trade back to his home state of Victoria at the end of 2017 despite having signed a contract months earlier. To the Lions. The team he supported as a kid. Where his dad Laurence played.
A last minute trade-in to the Bulldogs, he was wary of being a Bulldogs tall forward which in recent years has been a list of players about as prestigious as "most beautiful Ibis", "most thought-provoking Lara Bingle quote" or "best Essendon finals performance of the last 16 years".
The old saying used to be "you're not a washed-up forward until you've played full-forward for Footscray" and sadly, Schache seems to be fulfilling this prophecy. At age 23.
After a promising 24 goals from 17 games last year where he kicked 3 or more goals five times, 2020 just wasn't Schak's year. With Josh Bruce being unable to be shifted from the team (or most places really) Schache managed 2 games, 2 goals, no tackles and 2 clangers. His second game was particularly sad where he managed 2 disposals an no goals, spending a fair chunk of the time on the pine with no discernible injury. He then played a few scratch games and ended the year with an uncertain future.
The main problem is that people expect him to play like a KPF because he's 199cm tall, but he plays more like an outside flanker if there is such a thing. He's more put-off by body contact than Mike Pence and has the contested marking ability of a jellyfish, as this documentary demonstrates:
All this means that Josh covers more ground than most players in the comp but with congested forwardlines and zone defences that effort is often as redundant as the Pope's penis. His lack of contest led the bulldogs to chase Josh Bruce last year to provide support for Aaron Naughton which meant Schache slid further down the pecking order, despite the Bulldogs saying all summer that three talls could work in the forwardline. Three good talls can work in the forwardline but as Confucious once said about tall forwards, If you're not a contested mark then you're not a marking, um, s**t I think I have the wrong guy. Which is what the Bulldogs are now saying.
Fun fact: Josh Schache won the Larke Medal in 2015. Other winners include Sam Walsh, Christian Petracca, Dom Sheed, Lachie Whitfield and Jack Watts. I'm not sure what Josh' opinion on **** and swimming is, but his last voicemail message to me read: Om-nom-nom-nom *splash*
Josh, Schack, "Shack-Attack". Good luck for next year and for 2022, as well all know AFL player contracts are sacrosanct. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Pictured: Josh is upset to learn that unlike Bevo, he doesn't have a second set of eyes on his neck
Josh Schache is KPF-sized forward flanker with the consistency of a small forward.
Drafted at pick #2 by the Brisbane Lions, he famously requested a trade back to his home state of Victoria at the end of 2017 despite having signed a contract months earlier. To the Lions. The team he supported as a kid. Where his dad Laurence played.
A last minute trade-in to the Bulldogs, he was wary of being a Bulldogs tall forward which in recent years has been a list of players about as prestigious as "most beautiful Ibis", "most thought-provoking Lara Bingle quote" or "best Essendon finals performance of the last 16 years".
The old saying used to be "you're not a washed-up forward until you've played full-forward for Footscray" and sadly, Schache seems to be fulfilling this prophecy. At age 23.
After a promising 24 goals from 17 games last year where he kicked 3 or more goals five times, 2020 just wasn't Schak's year. With Josh Bruce being unable to be shifted from the team (or most places really) Schache managed 2 games, 2 goals, no tackles and 2 clangers. His second game was particularly sad where he managed 2 disposals an no goals, spending a fair chunk of the time on the pine with no discernible injury. He then played a few scratch games and ended the year with an uncertain future.
The main problem is that people expect him to play like a KPF because he's 199cm tall, but he plays more like an outside flanker if there is such a thing. He's more put-off by body contact than Mike Pence and has the contested marking ability of a jellyfish, as this documentary demonstrates:
All this means that Josh covers more ground than most players in the comp but with congested forwardlines and zone defences that effort is often as redundant as the Pope's penis. His lack of contest led the bulldogs to chase Josh Bruce last year to provide support for Aaron Naughton which meant Schache slid further down the pecking order, despite the Bulldogs saying all summer that three talls could work in the forwardline. Three good talls can work in the forwardline but as Confucious once said about tall forwards, If you're not a contested mark then you're not a marking, um, s**t I think I have the wrong guy. Which is what the Bulldogs are now saying.
Fun fact: Josh Schache won the Larke Medal in 2015. Other winners include Sam Walsh, Christian Petracca, Dom Sheed, Lachie Whitfield and Jack Watts. I'm not sure what Josh' opinion on **** and swimming is, but his last voicemail message to me read: Om-nom-nom-nom *splash*
Josh, Schack, "Shack-Attack". Good luck for next year and for 2022, as well all know AFL player contracts are sacrosanct. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2020.
Bont2Bruce
At the Destination Club
- Mar 15, 2012
- 10,897
- 25,734
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- Western Bulldogs
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- Footscray, Melbourne City
Thought he could have been bottom 10 to be honest
Surprised he wasn't to be honest.
Geez there must be some real shiitt trucks coming
RichLeMonde
Club Legend
and/or the most cropped of crop-tops
Called it.
Plugger35
The umpires are always right!
- Sep 27, 2008
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You know Schache is bad when he can't get a game ahead of Josh Bruce, lucky to only be 19th.
- Banned
- #1,022
yeah but that relies on him being black, in which case he'd be shown trying to punch himself and then run away from himself
- Banned
- #1,023
the vatican run out of little boys?
Kabanna
#VagGang4Life
That’s okay Schache, we don’t want you here either...you’re correct about him being like the Pope’s penis - I highly doubt that has ever actually done anything.
- Mar 11, 2018
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