Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[Prison bar Pete]

A batter man would have kept that to himself instead of waffling on

Your floury language is a (Bakers) delight to behold

 

[Contested Marx]

Your floury language is a (Bakers) delight to behold

Thanks. I was worried it would go against the (whole) grain

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

A man proposed to a girl, and she said no. He lived happily ever after.

 

[bomberclifford]

 

[Papa G]

Say what you want about Paedos.....

They always slow down in school zones

 

[El Zorro]

Say what you want about Paedos.....

They always slow down in school zones

Nope

 

[Papa G]

Nope

You don't?

 

[Grave Danger]

Say what you want about Paedos.....

They always slow down in school zones

More Holy Father than dad, and not really a joke, but the Pope was railing against the over commercialisation of Christmas this week - I reckon the church are just jealous because it's Santa that gets all the kiddies sitting on his knee (Covid pemitting).

 

[Garibaldi Red]

No, this one didn’t come out of the bonbon but straight out of my granddaughters mouth.

What do you call Santa Claus with no underpants?

Saint Knickerless.

I laughed.

 

[Quadzilla]

Told a joke to the 'Big Issue' seller...

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?" he replied.

"Hey, I thought you were f*ckn homeless!"

 

[StuMan]

 

[The breed]

View attachment 1032923

 

[The breed]

What did the drummer name his daughters ... Anna-one, Anna two

 

[Doctor Feel]

 

[Doctor Feel]

The ham is melting, the Turkey is suspended in thin air and the salami is hatching from its own egg. Why did we even come to the Salvador Deli.

 

[Doctor Feel]

 

[Contested Marx]

 

[philreich]

I've been practising lifting my left foot in the air, so I can start 2021 on the right foot.

 

[Doctor Feel]

Have you ever put your left sock on your right foot and found out it fits?

 

[Contested Marx]

Have you ever put your left sock on your right foot and found out it fits?

Yes but it just doesn't feel right

 

[Grave Danger]

Which sock do you always put on last?

The one that's left.

 

[Power Girl]

View attachment 1034181

And that got a whirl in my house today

 

[philreich]

Which sock do you always put on last?

The one that's left.

I'm currently wearing my golfing socks - there's a hole in one.

 

[Tredz]

I'm currently wearing my golfing socks - there's a hole in one.

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