Analysis The Whipping Boys

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Sensational whipping opportunities. I don't know where to start, but my arm will be aching by the end of the night. Whip it! Whip it good!

The Brown Brothers..... some might argue that when it comes to wine, the Browns do a reasonable job of it

but when it comes to AFL, the brown brothers are in an unique classification in AFL history - the worst brotherly pair ever to play the game. If I was coaching Tyler, I would probably apply to the stewards to use the whip because he just doesnt have the ticker to go and get the ball if you dont abuse him physically
 

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Trey’s mum would be great for this thread. And not just for whipping Trey - which she’s probably sick of doing, after 19 years - but for caning some of our other non-performers. Especially those with stupid hair cuts and hot pink boots. She’s already an industry leader.

I just got a transcript of trey's most recent phone call

Trey's mum : Oh no Trey, you're ringing me up at a strange time. What have you done this time?

Trey : Absolutely nuttin, mum. I swear, I haven't done a single thing since I last called.
 
4 Rounds in.

The whole off field staff welted up big time - except for our anointed only hope to be a saviour - Graham Wright.

On field, it was an interesting week - the lashes have drifted towards our better players.
The usual underwhelming crew were lessy spuddy than normal, so Pendles became a surprise entrant into the race this week.
JDG is developing quite a following.
But overall, Grundy has taken a massive lead in the OBree trophy - whipping boy of the year award - can't see him losing from here.

I'll be watching Adams with interest. Will this injury make us turn on him - he's had a fair few in recent years, will we view him as injury prone or even cooked? Or will we go the other way and turn him into as good as Dane Swan - due to missing with injury.

Quaynor is another one to watch - yet to cop any lashes in his career, but it's early days and copping 5 goals can't do his chances any harm.

Edit: Forgot Bruzzy Maynard - he's beginning to come back into contention.
 
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4 Rounds in.

The whole off field staff welted up big time - except for our anointed only hope to be a saviour - Graham Wright.

On field, it was an interesting week - the lashes have drifted towards our better players.
The usual underwhelming crew were lessy spuddy than normal, so Pendles became a surprise entrant into the race this week.
JDG is developing quite a following.
But overall, Grundy has taken a massive lead in the OBree trophy - whipping boy of the year award - can't see him losing from here.

I'll be watching Adams with interest. Will this injury make us turn on him - he's had a fair few in recent years, will we view him as injury prone or even cooked? Or will we go the other way and turn him into as good as Dane Swan - due to missing with injury.

Quaynor is another one to watch - yet to cop any lashes in his career, but it's early days and copping 5 goals can't do his chances any harm.
De Goey is worth a punt. Could yet catch Grundy is last night’s form is maintained.
 
De Goey is worth a punt. Could yet catch Grundy is last night’s form is maintained.
It's been an outstanding years for whips. Even Darcy Moore, despite 3 fabulous games, copped some lashes when Daniher had the better of him.

I think Quaynor, Howe and Daicos are the only three who are welt free in 2021, and it's only round 4!

McCreery got a lot of pats on the back, but if he keeps up 7 possession games, those pats will become lashes.
And we've still got ab out 10 future whippees yet to make their way into the team.
 
It's been an outstanding years for whips. Even Darcy Moore, despite 3 fabulous games, copped some lashes when Daniher had the better of him.

I think Quaynor, Howe and Daicos are the only three who are welt free in 2021, and it's only round 4!

McCreery got a lot of pats on the back, but if he keeps up 7 possession games, those pats will become lashes.
And we've still got ab out 10 future whippees yet to make their way into the team.
Daicos got a few smacks early in the season but it was largely directed at the Chief Whipping Boy - Buckley.
 
I think someone needs to explain to the players that it shouldnt be one of their career goals to become the biggest whipping boy in BF history.
 
I view THATSGOLD as a hot leather clad dominatrix.

Be vinyl I’d reckon.... at least until he finds a cow/kangaroo that’ll deliver the quality of leather he needs.... and vinyl would be cheaper than pvc
 
The lack of whips is holding us back .... not enough to go around given the high number of players who need a good whipping.

But I'd like to think of it in terms of output versus salary

  • Grundy needs a decent flogging after that display against mummy
  • DeGoey - want the big bucks you need to perform - so far mediocre
  • WHE / Thomas - don't care how much they get paid - they both need good whipping
  • Cox - like a flag on a flag pole - just flaps in the breeze all day long
  • Sidey - dinky kicks and missing handball targets - needs to lift
 
I think someone needs to explain to the players that it shouldnt be one of their career goals to become the biggest whipping boy in BF history.
I agree with you for guys like Pendles and Grundy who are going to have careers studded with glowing accolades - bloody greedy for them to have their hands up, but it really is Callum's only opportunity for greatness. He's going for it big time. Bloody hard to consistently perform to a standard that produces the volume he's copping without getting banished to the twos. Go you good thing.
 

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JDG is heading straight to the top of the queue. And he can ditch the show-off boots on the way. And the dreams of emulating Dusty.

He needs to knuckle down, get back to basics, get on his bike, all those other cliches about working hard...
 
JDG is heading straight to the top of the queue. And he can ditch the show-off boots on the way. And the dreams of emulating Dusty.

He needs to knuckle down, get back to basics, get on his bike, all those other cliches about working hard...
This is Collingwood 2021 - it's all about attacking the program.
 
This is Collingwood 2021 - it's all about attacking the program.

But, but, can’t we keep it personal? Focus our frustration on an individual who is singularly responsible for all our failings? Not much fun otherwise.
 
But, but, can’t we keep it personal? Focus our frustration on an individual who is singularly responsible for all our failings? Not much fun otherwise.
You misunderstood. "Attacking the program" is the Collingwood hierarchy's term for knuckling down, having a red hot go, digging in, etc...
 
I agree with you for guys like Pendles and Grundy who are going to have careers studded with glowing accolades - bloody greedy for them to have their hands up, but it really is Callum's only opportunity for greatness. He's going for it big time. Bloody hard to consistently perform to a standard that produces the volume he's copping without getting banished to the twos. Go you good thing.

After his career is over, hopefully end of the season, we can call it the CalBrownlow medal ;)
 
You misunderstood. "Attacking the program" is the Collingwood hierarchy's term for knuckling down, having a red hot go, digging in, etc...

Thanks for clarifying. I'm not good with keeping up with the latest football jargon. I'm still not sure what the 'fat side' of the ground is. And I'm still wanting our players to 'man up', although that may be coming back into footy fashion.:oops:
 
After his career is over, hopefully end of the season, we can call it the CalBrownlow medal ;)
You're in for some disappointment either way. OBree played over 200 games. 187 of them as a designated whipping. If Cal gets naming rights, he will need to play seniors for another 7 years
 
You're in for some disappointment either way. OBree played over 200 games. 187 of them as a designated whipping. If Cal gets naming rights, he will need to play seniors for another 7 years

O`Bree at least got the ball
 
The only stat that matters is the number of lashes. On the weekend, Grundy got 20 possessions. 14 of them contested. 5 clearances. 42 hitouts. And a champion data record score of lashes.


Ooooops sorry, I`ll re~focus on the lashes
 

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