Magpiespowaz
Half-Baked Oonchuck
- May 30, 2021
- 263
- 3,733
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
The olds bought my first cricket bat from Ebert & Weston - a classic Greg Chappell Grey Nicolls scoop. They even got to briefly meet the great man. So pissed off they didn't take me in - always wanted to go there and catch a glimpse of greatness.
"Why didn't you take me?"
"Yerra, it wouldn't be a feckin surprise then now would it, you half-baked oonchuck!"
"You met Russell Ebert! Jam your surprise! And your dumb bat!"
My simmering rage erupted two years later on Saturday, September 7, 1985.
The day of Russell Ebert's last game against Norwood at Footy Park. I had the flu and Mum had ruled me out. But I begged and cajoled and pleaded all morning long, rugged myself up in Magpies guernsey, beanie and scarf and, of course, a big duffel coat. Dad lobbied for me. Mum wavered. At one point, it looked like she was gonna break. But, in the end, she held firm.
"Look here boyo, ye didn't go to school on Tursday or Friday so ye didn't - so you're not going to the football today, bloody sure you're not."
CUE BIGGEST TANTRUM EVER. No, s**t I went absolutely ballistic farken. Even rescinded my court authorised adoption. Minor caveat: got me the whole next week of school off. Mum felt so bad, she let me milk that flu for all it was worth. By Thursday, she had suspicions I was right as rain, tho:
"Do ye tink you're well enough to go to school."
"Russell *cough* Ebert *cough* ."
Then I handed her my empty bowl of Rice Bubble with warm milk and a mountain of sugar and kept watching The Smurfs.
Footy stars being partners in sports stores was definitely a thing in Adelaide back in the day - Ebert & Weston and Hughes & Loveday were the ones I remember. So many footballers were involved, tho. Hell, even Rick Kinnear had one, lol...
CLIPPINGS courtesy Mark Schwerdt @ Footy Almanac
"Why didn't you take me?"
"Yerra, it wouldn't be a feckin surprise then now would it, you half-baked oonchuck!"
"You met Russell Ebert! Jam your surprise! And your dumb bat!"
My simmering rage erupted two years later on Saturday, September 7, 1985.
The day of Russell Ebert's last game against Norwood at Footy Park. I had the flu and Mum had ruled me out. But I begged and cajoled and pleaded all morning long, rugged myself up in Magpies guernsey, beanie and scarf and, of course, a big duffel coat. Dad lobbied for me. Mum wavered. At one point, it looked like she was gonna break. But, in the end, she held firm.
"Look here boyo, ye didn't go to school on Tursday or Friday so ye didn't - so you're not going to the football today, bloody sure you're not."
CUE BIGGEST TANTRUM EVER. No, s**t I went absolutely ballistic farken. Even rescinded my court authorised adoption. Minor caveat: got me the whole next week of school off. Mum felt so bad, she let me milk that flu for all it was worth. By Thursday, she had suspicions I was right as rain, tho:
"Do ye tink you're well enough to go to school."
"Russell *cough* Ebert *cough* ."
Then I handed her my empty bowl of Rice Bubble with warm milk and a mountain of sugar and kept watching The Smurfs.
Footy stars being partners in sports stores was definitely a thing in Adelaide back in the day - Ebert & Weston and Hughes & Loveday were the ones I remember. So many footballers were involved, tho. Hell, even Rick Kinnear had one, lol...
CLIPPINGS courtesy Mark Schwerdt @ Footy Almanac
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