Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2021

Madas

Norm Smith Medallist
Aug 16, 2020
5,791
7,256
AFL Club
Fremantle
fu** yeah i always remember Mum busting out the Womens Weekly cake book and telling me to pick a cake.

I remember picking the " Pool " one
Had those choccy fingers as the pool and green jelly

Think this, only " early 80's "
View attachment 1286339


Green Jelly.....the fu** was i thinking !

It'd make " Mofra's shittest 50 birthday cakes " list for sure
Yellow jelly would have been weird
 

FurTheWin

Norm Smith Medallist
May 25, 2017
6,103
7,669
Amongst the pigeons
AFL Club
Geelong
Other Teams
Banshees
fu** yeah i always remember Mum busting out the Womens Weekly cake book and telling me to pick a cake.

I remember picking the " Pool " one
Had those choccy fingers as the pool and green jelly

Think this, only " early 80's "
View attachment 1286339


Green Jelly.....the fu** was i thinking !

It'd make " Mofra's shittest 50 birthday cakes " list for sure

Yep, looks like Adelaide water
 
Player #8 - Nick Coffield
1637805547433.png

Pictured: Based on recent history, pick 12 (Josh Sinn) will become a superstar

Nick Coffield was selected at pick 8 in the 2017 national draft, one pick before Aaron Naughton. St Kilda have form in this area, selecting Paddy McCarton one pick prior to Christian Petracca in 2014 and Jack Billings one pick before Marcus Bontempelli in 2013. St Kilda's draft history basically make them the support band of the AFL world. While most clubs nail a Queens of the Stone Age with their first round picks, St Kilda are left trying to rock out to Nickelback.

Nick plays what many consider the easiest role in the AFL world. A 191cm intercepterish HB line player, he hasn't really set the world on fire. He was dropped mutliple times this year because some players at St Kilda can actually get dropped for poor performance. His first VFL game in May was an 8 disposal effort that would have left St Kilda fans holding their pillows more tightly than normal. He eventually made the senior team again after their season was effectively over and fortunately his teammates player poorly enough for his 'okish at times' games to go largely unnoticed. This places Nick somewhere between Sultana Bran and Special K on the mini-cereal box chart of player excitability:
1637807236113.png

Pictured: Don't fall for big-cereal propaganda, fruit loops are actually all the same flavour

Playing in the VFL multiple times this year after being a top 10 pick with a number of pre-seasons under your belt isn't exactly what St Kilda would have planned for Nick... but to his credit he has neither left a laptop open with the password taped to the front, ignited a dwarf or dated the type of schoolgirl who keeps empty bottles of bourbon in her room as 'trophies' so he is at least contributing to cultural improvement at Moorabbin.

Nick's basically transformed from a junior star to a best 22 player in 2020 to a guy who averages less than 10 kicks per game in 2021 who is on the fringe of a team on the fringe of being competitive. Well-known chief AFL umpiring assessment office Plugger35 did mention that:
both Clark and Coffield have gone past Naughton.
However I can only assume he was speaking alphabetically, as that quote above is a worse call than the one (presumably) de Goey's elite sports training adviser made just before enjoying a quiet night out in New York:


Fun fact: Nick is studying a bachelor of arts/commerce which means he's "the smart one" at St Kilda. That's akin to being 'the cool Bay 13 regular'.

Nick, good luck next year and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.
 
Sep 12, 2007
35,522
52,447
Melbourne
AFL Club
St Kilda
Player #8 - Nick Coffield
but to his credit he has neither left a laptop open with the password taped to the front, ignited a dwarf or dated the type of schoolgirl who keeps empty bottles of bourbon in her room as 'trophies' so he is at least contributing to cultural improvement at Moorabbin.
 
Mofra, admit it. You ran out of players who are worse than Shaun Higgins and are just making names up now.
Nick Coffield? Never heard of her.
 
Player #8 - Nick Coffield
View attachment 1286980
Pictured: Based on recent history, pick 12 (Josh Sinn) will become a superstar

Nick Coffield was selected at pick 8 in the 2017 national draft, one pick before Aaron Naughton. St Kilda have form in this area, selecting Paddy McCarton one pick prior to Christian Petracca in 2014 and Jack Billings one pick before Marcus Bontempelli in 2013. St Kilda's draft history basically make them the support band of the AFL world. While most clubs nail a Queens of the Stone Age with their first round picks, St Kilda are left trying to rock out to Nickelback.

Nick plays what many consider the easiest role in the AFL world. A 191cm intercepterish HB line player, he hasn't really set the world on fire. He was dropped mutliple times this year because some players at St Kilda can actually get dropped for poor performance. His first VFL game in May was an 8 disposal effort that would have left St Kilda fans holding their pillows more tightly than normal. He eventually made the senior team again after their season was effectively over and fortunately his teammates player poorly enough for his 'okish at times' games to go largely unnoticed. This places Nick somewhere between Sultana Bran and Special K on the mini-cereal box chart of player excitability:View attachment 1287002
Pictured: Don't fall for big-cereal propaganda, fruit loops are actually all the same flavour

Playing in the VFL multiple times this year after being a top 10 pick with a number of pre-seasons under your belt isn't exactly what St Kilda would have planned for Nick... but to his credit he has neither left a laptop open with the password taped to the front, ignited a dwarf or dated the type of schoolgirl who keeps empty bottles of bourbon in her room as 'trophies' so he is at least contributing to cultural improvement at Moorabbin.

Nick's basically transformed from a junior star to a best 22 player in 2020 to a guy who averages less than 10 kicks per game in 2021 who is on the fringe of a team on the fringe of being competitive. Well-known chief AFL umpiring assessment office Plugger35 did mention that:

However I can only assume he was speaking alphabetically, as that quote above is a worse call than the one (presumably) de Goey's elite sports training adviser made just before enjoying a quiet night out in New York:


Fun fact: Nick is studying a bachelor of arts/commerce which means he's "the smart one" at St Kilda. That's akin to being 'the cool Bay 13 regular'.

Nick, good luck next year and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.

Coco Pops are s**t



boom-finger.gif
 
I object , he wasn't dropped for poor performance.
Its just that when they found out Brad Hill could only play HBF, it would have been too embarrassing to drop the highly paid superstar.

Thank you Coff for taking a hit and saving us from the humiliation, and don't forget , if Hannebery gets caught at one of Nadia's parties, you know what you need to do with that Schoolgirl dwarf to distract the media.
 

davos44

Club Legend
May 24, 2008
1,253
1,543
Adelaide
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
SA Redbacks, Adel United
Player #8 - Nick Coffield
View attachment 1286980
Pictured: Based on recent history, pick 12 (Josh Sinn) will become a superstar

Nick Coffield was selected at pick 8 in the 2017 national draft, one pick before Aaron Naughton. St Kilda have form in this area, selecting Paddy McCarton one pick prior to Christian Petracca in 2014 and Jack Billings one pick before Marcus Bontempelli in 2013. St Kilda's draft history basically make them the support band of the AFL world. While most clubs nail a Queens of the Stone Age with their first round picks, St Kilda are left trying to rock out to Nickelback.

Nick plays what many consider the easiest role in the AFL world. A 191cm intercepterish HB line player, he hasn't really set the world on fire. He was dropped mutliple times this year because some players at St Kilda can actually get dropped for poor performance. His first VFL game in May was an 8 disposal effort that would have left St Kilda fans holding their pillows more tightly than normal. He eventually made the senior team again after their season was effectively over and fortunately his teammates player poorly enough for his 'okish at times' games to go largely unnoticed. This places Nick somewhere between Sultana Bran and Special K on the mini-cereal box chart of player excitability:View attachment 1287002
Pictured: Don't fall for big-cereal propaganda, fruit loops are actually all the same flavour

Playing in the VFL multiple times this year after being a top 10 pick with a number of pre-seasons under your belt isn't exactly what St Kilda would have planned for Nick... but to his credit he has neither left a laptop open with the password taped to the front, ignited a dwarf or dated the type of schoolgirl who keeps empty bottles of bourbon in her room as 'trophies' so he is at least contributing to cultural improvement at Moorabbin.

Nick's basically transformed from a junior star to a best 22 player in 2020 to a guy who averages less than 10 kicks per game in 2021 who is on the fringe of a team on the fringe of being competitive. Well-known chief AFL umpiring assessment office Plugger35 did mention that:

However I can only assume he was speaking alphabetically, as that quote above is a worse call than the one (presumably) de Goey's elite sports training adviser made just before enjoying a quiet night out in New York:


Fun fact: Nick is studying a bachelor of arts/commerce which means he's "the smart one" at St Kilda. That's akin to being 'the cool Bay 13 regular'.

Nick, good luck next year and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.



Were getting to the point where opposition supporters vaguely know these players "Nick Coffield sounds like a Sydney player, is that right?"
 
Were getting to the point where opposition supporters vaguely know these players "Nick Coffield sounds like a Sydney player, is that right?"

I am sorry but that is a highly offensive post. Go report and delete your sorrowful backside.
 

leobarryustar

Milking frees
Margin Mania Chess Club Member BeanCoiNFT Investor Zombie Lover A Star Wars Fan
Sep 23, 2014
6,196
10,997
AFL Club
Sydney
Other Teams
The Exers
Player #9 - Shaun Higgins
View attachment 1286323
Pictured: Shaun Higgins featured in the Wiggles' Big Red car in 1995 according to the Wiggles fandom page

Shaun Higgins is a Geelong local who formerly played for the Bulldogs and North. After finding out he would be 33 years old before season 2021 started, Geelong pounced and offered him a 2 year deal, and offered pick 30 to boot. Even Ned Guy had to double check that trade. After they stopped laughing, North accepted the deal.

This year Shaun played in 17 games as a high forward/utility. All the time he spent forward yielded 4 goals for the season. Despite his reputation as a classy player, and an 'elite kick', Shaun went at a seemingly respectable but highly misrepresented 77% DE this year. Let's unpack this a little.
When weighted for the easy options he takes and the kicks he should make, Higgins was *dun dun daaaahhh* the worst kick in the AFL competition.

Seriously:

I haven't seen such a stunning lack of accuracy since I last read the Covid thread on the conspiracy board on BigFooty.

So Geelong paid pick 30 for a 33 year old, gave him a 2 year deal (lol), only for him to repeatedly miss the target so badly his kicking heat map looks like an RSL urinal at 1am on Saturday morning.
To top this off, the guy hasn't met a reflection he doesn't like - he hogs the mirrors at Geelong more than Tommy Hawkins hogs the halftime oranges. The finer points of dracula had to be explained to him 6 times.
Then there's the cost of not picking a youngster with pick 30, and... oh who am I kidding. Chris Scott would never play the kids anyway. Geelong players are of a demographic so advanced that they needed to hire a consultant just to get the Covid vax certificates onto their pagers.
Rumour has it that Geelong's finals failures are in part to opposition players slipping a copy of the Woman's Weekly cake book into the Geelong rooms pre-game and watching them collapse into a teary, nostalgic mess.
View attachment 1286332
Pictured: Having 'cook' and 'book' in the same post means Carlton's accountant will subscribe to it

Speaking of finals failures, I must give credit to Shaun Higgins for Geelong's last final. Yes they lost by 83 points and the margin was 29 points at halftime, but that wasn't Shaun's fault because he was the sub and didn't get on the ground in that half. Amazingly, Shaun still has a 7m gained better stat sheet than lifetime achievement award winner Gary Rohan at that stage of the game.

Fun fact: Shaun's sister plays netball for the Geelong Cougers, two words that when placed together trigger horrifying levels of PTSD for too many young men.

Shaun, good luck for your final pre-season that starts soon. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.
_Epic_kitchen_fails_expectation_vs_reality43.jpg


Geelong: “Nailed it!”
 
Last edited:
Jul 22, 2013
18,776
27,426
AFL Club
Carlton
I'll take your word for it.

As a Carlton supporter, you're better placed than anyone to know sh*te when you see it...

Collingwood are even shitter than Freo. By every measure.

On field performance, recruiting, governance, salary cap management, race relations and unsightly nasal hair.
 

Fadge

Brownlow Medallist
Mar 4, 2007
17,810
17,223
Melbourne
AFL Club
Collingwood
Collingwood are even shitter than Freo. By every measure.

On field performance, recruiting, governance, salary cap management, race relations and unsightly nasal hair.
Predictable.

Again, take your word for it.

20 more consecutive years of what we dished up this year and we can start comparing Collingwood with Carlton.
 

MC Bad Genius

No, not THAT MC Bad Genius. The other one.
Apr 15, 2008
16,604
28,431
Sydney
AFL Club
Sydney
No idea but as soon as a kid is called Brayden it should trigger intervention from child services...
When I worked at a child protection helpline, almost every caseworker kept a list of the worst/funniest/saddest/most common names they came across. This is over a decade ago now, but the ones that stick in my mind were a family where the first 5 kids had names like Midnight, Moonlight, Shadow (can't remember the other two) and then there was about a 4 year gap before they had their sixth child ... Anthony. Poor kid.
 
Player #9 - Shaun Higgins
View attachment 1286323
Pictured: Shaun Higgins featured in the Wiggles' Big Red car in 1995 according to the Wiggles fandom page

Shaun Higgins is a Geelong local who formerly played for the Bulldogs and North. After finding out he would be 33 years old before season 2021 started, Geelong pounced and offered him a 2 year deal, and offered pick 30 to boot. Even Ned Guy had to double check that trade. After they stopped laughing, North accepted the deal.

This year Shaun played in 17 games as a high forward/utility. All the time he spent forward yielded 4 goals for the season. Despite his reputation as a classy player, and an 'elite kick', Shaun went at a seemingly respectable but highly misrepresented 77% DE this year. Let's unpack this a little.
When weighted for the easy options he takes and the kicks he should make, Higgins was *dun dun daaaahhh* the worst kick in the AFL competition.

Seriously:

I haven't seen such a stunning lack of accuracy since I last read the Covid thread on the conspiracy board on BigFooty.

So Geelong paid pick 30 for a 33 year old, gave him a 2 year deal (lol), only for him to repeatedly miss the target so badly his kicking heat map looks like an RSL urinal at 1am on Saturday morning.
To top this off, the guy hasn't met a reflection he doesn't like - he hogs the mirrors at Geelong more than Tommy Hawkins hogs the halftime oranges. The finer points of dracula had to be explained to him 6 times.
Then there's the cost of not picking a youngster with pick 30, and... oh who am I kidding. Chris Scott would never play the kids anyway. Geelong players are of a demographic so advanced that they needed to hire a consultant just to get the Covid vax certificates onto their pagers.
Rumour has it that Geelong's finals failures are in part to opposition players slipping a copy of the Woman's Weekly cake book into the Geelong rooms pre-game and watching them collapse into a teary, nostalgic mess.
View attachment 1286332
Pictured: Having 'cook' and 'book' in the same post means Carlton's accountant will subscribe to it

Speaking of finals failures, I must give credit to Shaun Higgins for Geelong's last final. Yes they lost by 83 points and the margin was 29 points at halftime, but that wasn't Shaun's fault because he was the sub and didn't get on the ground in that half. Amazingly, Shaun still has a 7m gained better stat sheet than lifetime achievement award winner Gary Rohan at that stage of the game.

Fun fact: Shaun's sister plays netball for the Geelong Cougers, two words that when placed together trigger horrifying levels of PTSD for too many young men.

Shaun, good luck for your final pre-season that starts soon. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2021.
Oi do not knock the cake book
 
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