Greatest AFL nicknames of all time and background on how the nickname came about.

Hojuman

조수미 사랑해요
May 20, 2012
22,490
65,623
Seoul
AFL Club
North Melbourne
This one is an oldie but a goodie that someone called into Tim & Gary years ago on SEN.

Team had a bloke they called " Clocks "
Why ? He had one arm shorter than the other.
 

Rusty Brookes

Norm Smith Medallist
Aug 9, 2001
6,702
8,678
Preston
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Hawthorn, Manningham Cobras
I played with a bloke who was a bit of an outside player who often stood outside the pack with his arms wide calling for the ball - his nickname was Test Match.

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Rusty Brookes

Norm Smith Medallist
Aug 9, 2001
6,702
8,678
Preston
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Hawthorn, Manningham Cobras
My son announced today a teacher had confiscated his footy at lunchtime. Teacher is bald with a big beard. According to my son, his ball was taken away by "D*ckhead Max Gawn".
 
May 5, 2016
43,464
48,496
AFL Club
Geelong
My old man once told me about a player whose name was Siggs, so the nickname was "packeta". Google isn't helping me identify him properly though

Phil Sigsworth. ‘Whatsapacketta’

He played rugby league and once took a leak right next to my car at Henson Park after I played there. While I was in the car.
 
Apr 18, 2015
21,055
25,576
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
PAOK of SALONIKA LIVERPOOL
Whateley nicknaming Collingwood the 'Grim Reaper' Rd 23 v Carlton.

"The crumbers are all Magpies. Nick Daicos to Maynard. Chanced his arm right through the middle. Pendlebury marks and plays on. Ginnivan is his man. Saad is against him. Elliot the 3rd there. The ball is his. The moment arrives. Elliot kicks thee goooooal............ Collingwood have closed the 'Griiim Reapeeer'.......... they hit the front with a min and 42 seconds to goooo.... and they hold Carlton's heart in their hand right now".
 
Feb 4, 2001
41,026
23,820
East Burwood
AFL Club
Essendon
Other Teams
Arsenal
Louie the Lip basically was the master of this. Wanna be's like Rex Hunt tried to copy with Special Fried Rice and The Cranium but we all knew he was trying to copy the master nickname creator.
Galloping Gasometer almost my favourite by Louie.
Flying Doormat and Lethal Leigh he known for more.
Tom Prior was Richards ghost writer and came up with a lot of those nicknames.
 
May 5, 2016
43,464
48,496
AFL Club
Geelong
Tom Prior was Richards ghost writer and came up with a lot of those nicknames.


The cult of commentators has become so stupid.

Kerry O’Keeffe is the one that shits me the most. Anyone with half a brain can tell he has his one-liners prepared for months before he spits them out but people seem oblivious to it. Dennis Cometti openly said he would prepare a lot of his in advance.

Bruce meanwhile used to cop s**t because of his over emotion at times but he was one of the most natural I felt and one of the few that brought the appropriate level of knowledge to his sports


Rugby League’s Ray Warren while prone to the odd mixed cliche or silly comment was amazing for some of his obviously off the cuff commentary.

I vividly recall a game in Wollongong adjacent to the beach where a conversion attempt was missed from point blank range by the goalkicker but the two goal line referees raised their flags to show that it was a goal.

Paul ‘Fatty’ Vautin lost it. ‘You have GOT to be kidding!!!! How hopeless are these blokes fair dinkum. They should throw them in…… Wollongong Ocean!’

The commentary box erupts with guffaws but quick as a flash Ray Warren composed himself slightly and bellows ‘Wollongong Ocean? It’s been the Pacific since before CAPTAIN COOK!!!’

It was delivered just perfectly
 

the avoca drover

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 16, 2007
6,918
14,753
The house of Jim Jess
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
AFC Wimbledon UTT
Did you ever have an itch?? No, not that.

The greater Neal family are farmers from out the back of Wynyard on Mt Hicks road. back in the day, you'd "scratch out a living" on the farm that far inland from the coast, is my guess.
Potato farmers around the area l live sometimes get called Scratcher.
Might be a link.
 

Jetafl

Club Legend
Sep 24, 2022
1,023
1,753
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Astros Detroit Red Wings KC Chiefs
Graham Johncock - Stiffy

Jordon Butts - Seymour (at least that is the nickname I use for him)
 
Aug 29, 2005
30,284
26,908
Adelaide
AFL Club
Collingwood
Rowdy = Gavin Brown
Pants = Darren Millane
"Charlie" = James Manson
"Cement head" = Craig "Ned" Kelly
Scooter = Tony Francis
Neon Leon Davis
Boof = Craig Davis
Cotton = Billy Picken
Monkey = Damien Monkhorst
Jerker = Graham Jenkin
Bubba = Barry Price
Daisy = Dale Thomas
The Macedonian Marvel= Peter Daicos
Leroy = Leigh "the Anvil" Brown
Tuddy = Des Tuddenham
Buttsy = Stan Magro
Rusty = Steele Sidebottom
The Blanket = Michael Gayfer
Flash = Wayne Gordon
Heater = Heath Shaw
"Perfect Pete" = Peter McKenna
Twiggy = Ross Dunne
Thommo = Len Thompson
Racehorse = Ricky Barham
Teaser = Graham Teasdale
Chocco = Mark Williams
"The Weed" = Murray Weideman
Bobby = Bob Rose
Rotten = Ron Andrews
Jimmy = Robert Dean
Billy = Jamie Elliot
Jonno = Ben Johnston
Dids = Alan Didak
"Cho" = Michael Richardson
Banksy = Dennis Banks
Chrisso = Michael Christian
Mores = Shane Morwood

I'll leave it here....I've gotta cook dinner!


Magic or Neon Leon - Leon Davis
Les - Seedsman
Pebbles - A.Rocca
Big Sav - S.Rocca
FIGJAM or Bucks - Buckley
 
Jan 14, 2002
12,637
16,545
...
AFL Club
Richmond
The cult of commentators has become so stupid.

Kerry O’Keeffe is the one that shits me the most. Anyone with half a brain can tell he has his one-liners prepared for months before he spits them out but people seem oblivious to it. Dennis Cometti openly said he would prepare a lot of his in advance.

Bruce meanwhile used to cop s**t because of his over emotion at times but he was one of the most natural I felt and one of the few that brought the appropriate level of knowledge to his sports


Rugby League’s Ray Warren while prone to the odd mixed cliche or silly comment was amazing for some of his obviously off the cuff commentary.

I vividly recall a game in Wollongong adjacent to the beach where a conversion attempt was missed from point blank range by the goalkicker but the two goal line referees raised their flags to show that it was a goal.

Paul ‘Fatty’ Vautin lost it. ‘You have GOT to be kidding!!!! How hopeless are these blokes fair dinkum. They should throw them in…… Wollongong Ocean!’

The commentary box erupts with guffaws but quick as a flash Ray Warren composed himself slightly and bellows ‘Wollongong Ocean? It’s been the Pacific since before CAPTAIN COOK!!!’

It was delivered just perfectly
Totally, but they were often pure gold.

My favourite Commetti-ism was during a GWS game. Heath Shaw had skewed a kick out off the side of his boot and out on the full, handing the footy to the oppo for a free shot at goal. 10 minutes later Heath took another kick out and perfectly spotted up a teammate.

Commetti - "That is the Shaw Shank Redemption" :D

You don't come up with that little gem spontaneously.
 
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