Game Day Freo vs Melbourne (Round 6)

[Purple Jesus]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir

Justin Longmuir

Age

44

Ht

196cm

Wt

98kg

Pos.

F/R

Career

Season

Last 5

D

11.4

3star

K

6.9

3star

HB

4.5

3star

M

4.3

4star

T

1.4

3star

G

1.2

4star

No current season stats available

D

7.0

2star

K

3.6

2star

HB

3.4

3star

M

2.0

3star

T

0.6

3star

G

0.6

3star

’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin

Simon Goodwin

Age

48

Ht

185cm

Wt

86kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

20.9

5star

K

12.1

4star

HB

8.8

5star

M

4.0

4star

T

2.5

4star

No current season stats available

D

9.4

3star

K

7.2

3star

HB

2.2

2star

M

3.0

3star

T

2.2

4star

has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring more than MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton
  15

  Shai Bolton

  Age

  26

  Ht

  176cm

  Wt

  77kg

  Pos.

  M/F

  Career

  Season

  Last 5

  D

  12.3

  3star

  K

  6.9

  3star

  HB

  5.4

  4star

  M

  2.8

  3star

  T

  2.9

  4star

  CL

  1.4

  4star

  D

  12.7

  3star

  K

  9.2

  4star

  HB

  3.5

  2star

  M

  3.0

  3star

  T

  2.7

  4star

  CL

  1.8

  4star

  D

  9.2

  3star

  K

  4.6

  2star

  HB

  4.6

  4star

  M

  2.0

  3star

  T

  2.6

  4star

  CL

  0.0

  1star

  hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

 

[freo84]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

 

[Hamann188]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring more than MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

 

[dockerfemme]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring more than MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

A truly great preview.

 

[SiempreFreo]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring more than MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

What a you-beaut little ripper gem of a preview!

Hearty thanks, PJ.

 

[Tonga Bob]

What I love about this preview is that Purple Jesus only agreed to do it 3 days ago! So it's not too late for anybody who hasn't volunteered to do one.

Champagne effort!!

 

[Snuffaluphagus]

Too much effort for mine but not a bad read Purple Jesus

 

[Mr Cheese]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring more than MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

Bravo, love your work

 

[Piggy Smalls]

 

[Ge3ks]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring more than MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

 

[MadMundy]

Bring mid-season trading in already, get this Pickett lad into his finest purple attire.

 

[BeinPurplenGreen]

Fremantle Dockers vs Melbourne Demons​

Saturday 19th April 2025 – 1:20pm AEST
Melbourne Cricket Ground

---

The Kozzy Courtship: Chapter 12 (Possibly Final?)​

The Dockers are in town. Melbourne knows it. Kozzy knows it. And Justin Longmuir’s tailored suit knows it too – dry cleaned and pressed for the occasion, just in case there’s a chance encounter in the MCG tunnel.

Officially, Fremantle are here for premiership points. Unofficially? They’re here to gently whisper sweet nothings to Kysaiah Pickettunder the guise of “opposition analysis.” It’s the AFL’s worst-kept secret – JL wants Kozzy in purple, and he’s playing the long game.

They’ve recruited his cousin, Isiah Dudley. They’ve got his close mate, Quinton Narkle, quietly humming Slim Dusty tunes at training. All that’s left is to sneak a membership application into Kozzy’s locker with the note: “We already saved you a locker – it’s next to Bolton's.”

---

Last Time They Met​

2024, Round 12 – TIO Traeger Park
Fremantle 22.9 (141) def Melbourne 7.7 (49)

Melbourne got absolutely pantsed in Alice Springs – not so much a game as a purple-themed exhibition. Treacy kicked bags, Amiss found his radar, and Luke Jackson played like a bloke who’d just had a home-cooked feed from Mum and remembered how much he hates Melbourne winters.

Pickett kicked a couple, but spent most of the day watching the ball fly the other way. Word is, JL introduced himself post-match with a handshake, a wink, and a business card that simply read: “Imagine the possibilities.”

---

This Week: The Subtle Approach™​

The Dockers’ official line? “Just another round of footy.” But the internal memo? Operation: Make Him Feel Seen.

• Expect the following:
  • Narkle appearing uninvited at Kozzy’s favourite coffee joint in Fitzroy, loudly asking the barista if they do “extra hot oat lattes like Mary Street in Highgate” and casually dropping, “Man, the coffee’s not bad for over here — reckon you’d love the stuff back home though. Real crema. Real sunlight.”
  • Brayshaw, spotted in the next booth over at Kozzy’s usual brunch spot, flicking through a glossy real estate brochure titled “Life’s Better in Leighton”, muttering just loud enough: “Mate, in Perth you can own a house with a lemon tree and still hear the ocean. Without even being as rich as us.”
  • Dudley, in full Freo kit, somehow playing pick-up footy at Princes Park when Kozzy arrives for a casual kick. Offers him a water bottle that smells suspiciously like Bali prep and says, “You know the boys are booking flights already — just saying.”
  • A mysterious Perth tourism billboard going up overnight near Kozzy’s place in Richmond:
    “More sun. Less traffic. Better beaches. Freo. It’s time.”
    Featuring a barely disguised silhouette of him standing on Cottesloe Beach holding a Dockers guernsey and a fishing rod.

---

Melbourne’s Defence Strategy​

Simon Goodwin has allegedly assigned a minder to Pickett for the week – not to protect him from defenders, but from Dockers recruiters. The club has reportedly placed a strict “no property brochures” policy in the changerooms, after a mysterious pamphlet for “Ocean Views, South Fremantle – walk to cafés!” was found post-training.

---

Prediction​

Fremantle’s form is hot. Treacy is coming off a six-goal special, and Amiss is due. Add in the defensive structure that’s stifling teams and a midfield that’s purring more than MadEyeEmmy on a gif hunt, and they should have the edge.

But win or lose, the real scoreboard will be in Kozzy’s eyes when he looks at Longmuir post-game. A little glimmer, a lingering handshake, a half-smile that says, “Maybe.”


Fremantle 28.21 (189) def Melbourne 5.9 (39)

Pickett: 3.1, 17 touches, 1 compliment too many from Serong, and a few long looks westward.

---

Bonus Odds from the Worst:​

• $1.80 – JL is spotted “accidentally” bumping into Kozzy at the team hotel lobby.
• $2.50 – Someone leaves a framed photo of Shai Bolton hugging a quokka on Kozzy’s seat pre-game.
• $5.00 – Pickett’s Instagram story features a purple heart emoji by Monday.

Spectacular preview, well done.

Something about games against the Dees at the MCG when we are favourites just never works out well.

We've played 62 games at the MCG for just 22 wins, and 30 times we've given up over 100 points - only breaking the ton ourselves 12 times.

BUT HOLD ON NOW...
9 of our 22 wins at the G, and 8 of the 12 times we've scored over 100 points, HAVE BEEN AGAINST THE DEMONS!
We've won exactly 50% of the time we've played Melbourne at the G!

Unlikely we score 100+ points if it is too wet this weekend, but we need to get that winning feeling at the G if we ever want to win a premiership.

We've actually also been the home team at the MCG once, when we lost to those scumbag Carltankers in July 2021.
The less said about that game, or the Wonna one where we lost from 54 points up at half time, the better.

So which is it - heads or tails, win or loss, wet or dry, Kozzy or Dudsy?

 

[Tonga Bob]

Good afternoon all, the very friendly people on the Melbourne board have put up a banter thread on their board asking for potential banner messages for the weekend. Here's one I prepared earlier:

It's inevitable
So don't make a fuss
And just let Kosi
Come home with us

So if you're up for a bit of wordsmithery then get in there and give Bofa some. Make sure you're not being a jerk about it though, we're guests on their board so show a semblance of decorum - basically don't do what you'd complain to me about an oppo poster on this board doing.

Have at it!

Universal Love - Banner ideas v. Fremantle

COME ON, DEES FANS BE NICE AND LOUD BLUELEGS AND HEADLESS ARE UP IN THE CROWD

www.bigfooty.com

 

[Mr Cheese]

We'll win in the air
We'll win in the guts,
We'll take Kozzie and tell you
To go suck on Dees nuts...

Or

We really want Kozzie,
In a very bad way,
But we won't give what
danster wants us to pay...

 

[Snuffaluphagus]

We'll win in the air
We'll win in the guts,
We'll take Kozzie and tell you
To go suck on Dees nuts...

Or

We really want Kozzie,
In a very bad way,
But we won't give what
danster wants us to pay...

Both

 

[Jezzitizle]

We'll win in the air
We'll win in the guts,
We'll take Kozzie and tell you
To go suck on Dees nuts...

Or

We really want Kozzie,
In a very bad way,
But we won't give what
danster wants us to pay...

Second one. And tag him.

 

[ignoramus]

Second one. And tag him.

Tag him? So you don’t think Kozzie is already watching the thread?

 

[Quay Club]

May officially out now.

Big day coming up for Big Cohuna!

Team update | May to miss Round 6

Steven May will miss Saturday’s Round 6 AFL match against Fremantle

www.melbournefc.com.au

 

[kingswood71]

Should win this one based on form.

 

[Stinky Lomax]

Hope the players & coaches are watching the WC game as I expect Melbourne to come out with an increased intensity. We got caught out last year not being ready to play against a struggling team & we have to match or increase the intensity that Melbourne will bring.

You can’t win a game in the first 10 minutes but you can lose one, be ready.

 

[ubiquitous226]

There's No Lever
There's No May
There's no forward line
So kick and pray

 

[Kapow!!!]

May officially out now.

Big day coming up for Big Cohuna!

Team update | May to miss Round 6

Steven May will miss Saturday’s Round 6 AFL match against Fremantle

www.melbournefc.com.au

One of the weirdest (and only) pieces of life advice my old man ever gave me was "Never pick a fight with an old man: He knows he can't win so he'll just f***ing kill you". Granted his advice made a lot of false assumptions about how I conducted my life and begged more questions about his own but there's a bizarre truth to it. Beware those that are wise and know they're outmatched because they will not fight fair and may resorted to bringing a gun to a fist fight. I believe it's called being put on death ground.

I feel that may apply here now. I'm expecting a hard double team and heavy zone from Petty that they may sacrifice some run and opponents to neutralise Josh knowing they can't rely on one on one's from hack kicks inside 50 anymore. I really, truly, desperately hope this week has been the week a lot of emphasis has been put on to finding other targets (like Amiss any time he is 30m clear of the nearest defender FFS) and we can score well because of it otherwise this may just develop into a slog.

 

[Purple Jesus]

If JL were me, we'd make this a shootout.

 

[oldgoat]

One of the weirdest (and only) pieces of life advice my old man ever gave me was "Never pick a fight with an old man: He knows he can't win so he'll just f***ing kill you". Granted his advice made a lot of false assumptions about how I conducted my life and begged more questions about his own but there's a bizarre truth to it. Beware those that are wise and know they're outmatched because they will not fight fair and may resorted to bringing a gun to a fist fight. I believe it's called being put on death ground.

I feel that may apply here now. I'm expecting a hard double team and heavy zone from Petty that they may sacrifice some run and opponents to neutralise Josh knowing they can't rely on one on one's from hack kicks inside 50 anymore. I really, truly, desperately hope this week has been the week a lot of emphasis has been put on to finding other targets (like Amiss any time he is 30m clear of the nearest defender FFS) and we can score well because of it otherwise this may just develop into a slog.

Amiss half forward, Cyclone in the goal square.

 

[Mr Cheese]

We have a talent-laden squad, genuine powerhouse KPPs, Brownlow contending mids and we're facing an injury decimated opponent who have massive internal issues who've just dropped their best forwards. Why am I nervous? Is this exclusively a Freo thing? This should be 100+ points.