Toast Vale Adam Selwood

[kranky al]

Absolutely gutting news to hear, footy is so secondary to this type of stuff.

Hard to process/express on a footy forum but just wanted to get this out there: am currently doing my psych masters while working in disability care and 100% believe in these results:

In contrast to older data from the 70-80s, current studies indicate that committing to and following through on literally any type of therapy promotes the best outcomes for mental health.

In other words, the act of seeking and committing to therapy is statistically so much more influential than the type of therapy it actually is. The caveat being: it's got to feel right for you.

Seeing a psychologist, seeing a community counsellor, group therapy, couples therapy, hypnotherapy, mates counselling programs, anything. It's not that the data invalidates one type of therapy over another, it's that if it feels right for you, the act of committing to it is going to give you the best results possible.

Sounds counterintuitive as a prospective psychologist but honestly, for men especially I would encourage everyone to open themselves up to whatever type of help they need. If you're hesitating or unsure, the act of just committing to seeking help is the biggest step of all.

If anyone does want anything specific or any ideas for directions please feel free to pm. Love to all you footy nuffies out there.

So true. I’ve had in and off depression for years and last year losing dad and falling out with work and leaving a good job stuck me in a hole. I didn’t wait like I have in the past, sought help and although I only had a few sessions it’s like a weight lifts off you.

They reframe you and get you to go back to basics and do the little things that make you happy in life that you just stop doing because you are stuck in your head.

 

[BigBirdz]

Poor guy . Anyone who's felt the occasional sting of depression would know how horrible it is. I couldn't imagine that infecting every day life.
RIP legend

 

[Goroyals22]

Poor guy . Anyone who's felt the occasional sting of depression would know how horrible it is. I couldn't imagine that infecting every day life.
RIP legend

Depression is a dog of a thing.. unfortunately my mrs has it ( possibly being married to me will do it) but we have gone through 5 suicide attempts failed thankfully and over a period of 14 years seen so many doctors,psychs , mental health professionals and mental health wards to try and figure it out… finally it seems we have the right medication but even that’s all trial and error to get right .. some people can’t hang on that length of time to see the right health professionals or get the right help and medication..

 

[Gointocarlton]

Very sad day, sincere condolences to the Selwood family and all the WC supporters doing it tough today.
Thoughts are with you all.
RIP Young Fella, gone too soon.

 

[wegetpumped]

RIP. Can't imagine how his family are. Having lost my parents recently to lose 2 sons so close it would be unthinkable pain.
I had the previldge of meeting there dad one day during work as a courier in Bendigo and my first reaction was, What a pure gentleman. Well known and liked family in bendigo, rest in peace brother.

 

[Bleedblueandgold]

Searched for Adam's HBF Run for a Reason fundraiser page.

Adam Selwood in HBF Run for a Reason 2025

Hi everyone, Following the heartbreaking loss of my twin brother to suicide, I have made the decision to take on the HBF Run for a Reason Half Marathon. My goal is to raise $10,000 in support of Zero2Hero - an incredible charity committed to educating, engaging, and empowering young people to...

runforareason25.grassrootz.com

People have been donating to it today.
The last donation before today was 12 days ago, and he was personally thanking pretty much every donor. Seemed like an amazing bloke...

Adam Selwood in HBF Run for a Reason 2025

Hi everyone, Following the heartbreaking loss of my twin brother to suicide, I have made the decision to take on the HBF Run for a Reason Half Marathon. My goal is to raise $10,000 in support of Zero2Hero - an incredible charity committed to educating, engaging, and empowering young people to...

runforareason25.grassrootz.com

 

[Priddis Is Done]

What really gets to me and of course it's an opinion,

Is that the the 'lure' of a twin was greater than the wife and children.

Even if I'm way of base here, I just can't wrap my mind around today.

 

[Altum Volantes]

Have reflected on this a lot today - so incredibly sad.

I really hope the club can put out a strong response to Adam’s passing - I’m not expecting much on the field but playing with some pride tomorrow and alongside a strong and respectful tribute moving forward, hopefully in the Men’s Mental Health space where the AFL is so amazingly lacking for all the awareness built around MND, or Breast Cancer and so on.

Most of all though, recognising that Adam was one of ours - I realise that the footy coverage is East focused and this is not a ‘grief measuring’ contest but this guy was a great servant of our club - a premiership player, a life member and contributed off field too - he’s not just ‘brother of…’ - the club needs to make sure he is recognised as such.

 

[DorothyG]

What really gets to me and of course it's an opinion,

Is that the the 'lure' of a twin was greater than the wife and children.

Even if I'm way of base here, I just can't wrap my mind around today.

That's the thing with depression/mental health.

There are no rhyme or reason to it. If that's what your brain decides, than it's a hard to rewire the brain to more positive thoughts.

To us it may not make sense, or a solution may seem simple, but to the person it alot more complex and personal.

I also now a couple of twins, and they are literally the same person. It's an amazing bond that they have that we cannot comprehend.

A couple years ago I lost my best mate. He had a lovely loving family, good solid job. Good friends and relationships with everyone in his life. He had the world at his feet. But for some incomprehensible reason to myself and everyone else, he had some big demons he just could shake. Sadly he believed there was only one solution.

Take care of yourselves.

 

[Keys]

What really gets to me and of course it's an opinion,

Is that the the 'lure' of a twin was greater than the wife and children.

Even if I'm way of base here, I just can't wrap my mind around today.

I think it’s something the vast majority of people don’t understand because it’s not a rational thought process and their can be varying reasons behind it - shame, an inability to cope, overbearing sense of grief where the only way to end the torture played out in your own mind is to end it all.

Sometimes it’s the ultimate cry for help

It’s also something very hard to recognise even for the people closest to them because people suffering are adept at putting up a facade. More often than not people are shocked as they didn’t see it coming

There can also be a (mistaken) belief that those closest to you would be better off without you- that you’re a burden to them

And we’re in a culture where men aren’t supposed to speak up so those emotions are bottled up without an outlet and a fear that if you do you’ll be judged

Now I can say it’s important to speak up. To seek help. But knowing that when I was at my darkest point, I didn’t.

And those nearest to me have no idea how close I came

 

[ioppolo]

Nice to see some of the lads getting around each other

Who's that on the far left?

 

[squashface]

Who's that on the far left?

Trent Carroll

 

[CaptainWorpedo]

Condolences to the Selwood family and the eagles.

I watched the pies coach press conference last night and Fly addressed the Selwoods at the end.

The poor guys voice broke and he was holding back the tears, clearly this is impacting the AFL world.

It really makes your heart breaks the black dog!

Here’s hoping there’s medical advances to support those in need…. Especially around Brain injuries.

The AFL need a round to support this cause, especially as it’s personal for them… With the sport being linked to the condition.

* Not stating this linked to Adam Selwood, I believe there were references to his brother Troy. Apologies if I have miss understood.

 

[CaptainWorpedo]

Depression is a dog of a thing.. unfortunately my mrs has it ( possibly being married to me will do it) but we have gone through 5 suicide attempts failed thankfully and over a period of 14 years seen so many doctors,psychs , mental health professionals and mental health wards to try and figure it out… finally it seems we have the right medication but even that’s all trial and error to get right .. some people can’t hang on that length of time to see the right health professionals or get the right help and medication..

Really needed a hug emjo for you and there was not one. ((((Hugs)))).

 

[Kegs15]

Absolutely gutting news to hear, footy is so secondary to this type of stuff.

Hard to process/express on a footy forum but just wanted to get this out there: am currently doing my psych masters while working in disability care and 100% believe in these results:

In contrast to older data from the 70-80s, current studies indicate that committing to and following through on literally any type of therapy promotes the best outcomes for mental health.

In other words, the act of seeking and committing to therapy is statistically so much more influential than the type of therapy it actually is. The caveat being: it's got to feel right for you.

Seeing a psychologist, seeing a community counsellor, group therapy, couples therapy, hypnotherapy, mates counselling programs, anything. It's not that the data invalidates one type of therapy over another, it's that if it feels right for you, the act of committing to it is going to give you the best results possible.

Sounds counterintuitive as a prospective psychologist but honestly, for men especially I would encourage everyone to open themselves up to whatever type of help they need. If you're hesitating or unsure, the act of just committing to seeking help is the biggest step of all.

If anyone does want anything specific or any ideas for directions please feel free to pm. Love to all you footy nuffies out there.

 

[kane249]

What really gets to me and of course it's an opinion,

Is that the the 'lure' of a twin was greater than the wife and children.

Even if I'm way of base here, I just can't wrap my mind around today.

When you are suffering, it only takes one momentary decision to change it. That decision doesn't end the pain and suffering though.

All it does is pass that pain and suffering on those you leave behind, and makes it exponentially worse for them.

One of my best friends took his life nearly 2 years ago, seeing the effect its had on his friends and family first hand has been heart breaking.

 

[Keys]

This article was written in The Age by Jake Niall, who is one of the better Victorian journalists

It does touch on our cultural issues during Selwood’s time at the club, but only to highlight his positive contribution in helping the club rebuild - noting that he was a straight arrow.

https://archive.is/jdUzh

 

[UseR2006]

This one hits close to home for me, Have had friends end things this way and it's indescribable the damage it does to those it leaves behind. I still think about him even a decade later and the tragedy of it all.

The black dog, Depression, whatever you choose to label it is an ass and as someone who lives with depression and anxiety on the daily sometimes it's a struggle just to get through the day to day.

The AFLPA has services for current and past players for people going through issues with mental health.

Wellbeing

As part of our mental health and wellbeing services, the AFLPA offers free, confidential and professional counselling support for all current and past players.

www.aflplayers.com.au

Men especially should be talking to anyone about what is going on, get out of your own head and please seek help if you need it and want it.

 

[PremiershipNo4]

I had a good mate suicide when we were both 17yrs old, he had everything going for him, just completely out of the blue.
The two of us looked a lot alike, at the funeral his mother hugged me in tight grip cried, wailed, for around 15minutes, I just wanted to crawl into a hole, but I held her tight like a son consoling a mother.
It’s one of my darkest and clearest memories, and still hurts bad after 36 years.
Suicide might relieve the pain of the individual but it leaves the pain for everyone else, I can never quite reconcile that.

 

[Cuzz09]

Maybe that's how they should attack the suicide issue?

I know they wouldn't be maybe they should push the "think about the pain you'll leave others with" angle

In the moment I'm assuming most think "they're better off without me" but if you had the guilt of leaving loved ones with all that hurt you might reconsider.

 

[Wedgetailed Westerner]

What really gets to me and of course it's an opinion,

Is that the the 'lure' of a twin was greater than the wife and children.

Even if I'm way of base here, I just can't wrap my mind around today.

Mental Illness is like that for a lot of people, hard to wrap their heads around it.
Alot more needs to be done in educating the community.
Suicide for many of you may seem like the easy way out but living with internal pain can be unbearable.

 

[Priddis Is Done]

We have so many great forum members here.

A good friends mother took her life when he was young. It destroyed the family unit. Has never been able to relate to females and holds anger to them. He's been completely broken his whole life. We've drifted away in the last 10 years.

I have 2 very close friends since childhood. We made a pact since Troy's death. "If your time is up, make one last call to your mate".

All 3 of us are successful, yet suffer from the black dog, from time to time.

I'm trying to get into a psych, recognise and work through my triggers.

One of those mates, we are a shrink to each other. Nothing off limits. We talk / message 10 times a day.

I think the biggest thing about confiding and talking to someone, is realising no one is perfect, everyone suffers, in various degrees mentally.

 

[Lunchtime]

We have so many great forum members here.

A good friends mother took her life when he was young. It destroyed the family unit. Has never been able to relate to females and holds anger to them. He's been completely broken his whole life. We've drifted away in the last 10 years.

I have 2 very close friends since childhood. We made a pact since Troy's death. "If your time is up, make one last call to your mate".

All 3 of us are successful, yet suffer from the black dog, from time to time.

I'm trying to get into a psych, recognise and work through my triggers.

One of those mates, we are a shrink to each other. Nothing off limits. We talk / message 10 times a day.

I think the biggest thing about confiding and talking to someone, is realising no one is perfect, everyone suffers, in various degrees mentally.

I actually think a lot of people need to tone it down when voising their views and opinions on here, sometimes it gets far too much - too toxic and nasty.

We should all be there for each other and form friendships, regardless of who we go for in terms of who we support (footy team) etc.

Mental Health is important. Its also important we check on each other too.

 

[Goroyals22]

Mental Illness is like that for a lot of people, hard to wrap their heads around it.
Alot more needs to be done in educating the community.
Suicide for many of you may seem like the easy way out but living with internal pain can be unbearable.

Even with my circumstances my dad thinks mental illness is a lot of garbage, all in the mind and just an excuse for poor choices….

Everyone is never all going to be on board

 

[CaptainWorpedo]

Even with my circumstances my dad thinks mental illness is a lot of garbage, all in the mind and just an excuse for poor choices….

Everyone is never all going to be on board

At a guess sounds more like the era your dad grew up in…. If he is over 50 it would explain it for sure. Some can evolve though, hopefully he finds some understanding on the matter.

Hug your dad every time he voices that opinion.

 

[Natho]

RIP Adam. Sending love to the Selwood family. ❤