Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

[philreich]

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

Agro had a good idea for a radio interview - Fat Cat interviews Humphrey.

Agro's obsession with Anne-Maree and her bum and farts was a cherished childhood memory of mine. He was so filthy

 

[Hydatina Physis]

View attachment 2498163

Mate, it's 2023, we've moved past this sort of hateful, misogynistic talk. Women use PayPal now.

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

Mate, it's 2023, we've moved past this sort of hateful, misogynistic talk. Women use Onlyfans now.

Edited for Truth !!!

 

[Mofra]

Player #17 - Jack Petruccelle

21

Jack Petruccelle

Age

26

Ht

188cm

Wt

83kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.2

2star

K

6.2

2star

HB

3.0

3star

M

3.0

3star

T

1.8

4star

G

1.0

4star

D

6.7

1star

K

4.0

1star

HB

2.7

2star

M

1.7

2star

T

1.3

2star

G

0.7

4star

D

7.8

2star

K

4.6

2star

HB

3.2

3star

M

2.8

3star

T

1.6

4star

G

0.6

3star

Pictured: WA fashion

Jack Petruccelle

21

Jack Petruccelle

Age

26

Ht

188cm

Wt

83kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.2

2star

K

6.2

2star

HB

3.0

3star

M

3.0

3star

T

1.8

4star

G

1.0

4star

D

6.7

1star

K

4.0

1star

HB

2.7

2star

M

1.7

2star

T

1.3

2star

G

0.7

4star

D

7.8

2star

K

4.6

2star

HB

3.2

3star

M

2.8

3star

T

1.6

4star

G

0.6

3star

is a 26 year old who managed 2 games this year, both as the sub, for a team that sucked so hard this year their official club colours have been changed to "Bonnie-Blue and Gold".

Known as a 'speedster' more than a footballer, Jack unfortunately found out that you need more than just speed to be a footballer in the modern game. After all, if speed was the most important thing there is... I'd be the world's best lover.

Carlton were then linked to Petch because they had just lost about $38m worth of players to St Kilda and needed depth in the forward half of the ground. Voss is really keen for Carlton to get more speed on their clangers in 2026.
After all, Petch has experience in what makes Carlton 'Carlton' - missing finals, and playing in the shadow of a Cripps.

Fun fact: Petch has decided to play for Subiaco in 2026, marking very little change from his 2025 season.

Jack, congrats on the engagement this year and welcome to the bottom 40 for 2025.

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

Player #17 - Jack Petruccelle
View attachment 2498289
Pictured: WA fashion

Jack Petruccelle is a 26 year old who managed 2 games this year, both as the sub, for a team that sucked so hard this year their official club colours have been changed to "Bonnie-Blue and Gold".

Known as a 'speedster' more than a footballer, Jack unfortunately found out that you need more than just speed to be a footballer in the modern game. After all, if speed was the most important thing there is... I'd be the world's best lover.

Carlton were then linked to Petch because they had just lost about $38m worth of players to St Kilda and needed depth in the forward half of the ground. Voss is really keen for Carlton to get more speed on their clangers in 2026.
After all, Petch has experience in what makes Carlton 'Carlton' - missing finals, and playing in the shadow of a Cripps.

Fun fact: Petch has decided to play for Subiaco in 2026, marking very little change from his 2025 season.

Jack, congrats on the engagement this year and welcome to the bottom 40 for 2025.

Bit disappointed in this effort Mof. Making fun of Pet-Flog-Smelly is a bit of low hanging fruit.

He is actually too shit/unworthy to make your prestigous bottom 40.

Also i am a bit bitter about your snide swipe at Carlton (as funny and true it is)

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Voss is really keen for Carlton to get more speed on their clangers in 2026.

You want to patent this concept before ChampionData makes it a new stat

 

[MC Bad Genius]

Player #17 - Jack Petruccelle
View attachment 2498289
Pictured: WA fashion

Jack Petruccelle is a 26 year old who managed 2 games this year, both as the sub, for a team that sucked so hard this year their official club colours have been changed to "Bonnie-Blue and Gold".

Known as a 'speedster' more than a footballer, Jack unfortunately found out that you need more than just speed to be a footballer in the modern game. After all, if speed was the most important thing there is... I'd be the world's best lover.

Carlton were then linked to Petch because they had just lost about $38m worth of players to St Kilda and needed depth in the forward half of the ground. Voss is really keen for Carlton to get more speed on their clangers in 2026.
After all, Petch has experience in what makes Carlton 'Carlton' - missing finals, and playing in the shadow of a Cripps.

Fun fact: Petch has decided to play for Subiaco in 2026, marking very little change from his 2025 season.

Jack, congrats on the engagement this year and welcome to the bottom 40 for 2025.

How is this spud only 26? I legitimately thought he'd retired a couple of years ago as a 30-something. Welcome to the Bottom 40, young fella!

 

[Baldur]

Waiting for no.17 feels like waiting for Essendon to win a final.

They will win one shortly after Godot turns up.

 

[EdCurnowRules]

Player #17 - Jack Petruccelle
View attachment 2498289
Pictured: WA fashion

Jack Petruccelle is a 26 year old who managed 2 games this year, both as the sub, for a team that sucked so hard this year their official club colours have been changed to "Bonnie-Blue and Gold".

Known as a 'speedster' more than a footballer, Jack unfortunately found out that you need more than just speed to be a footballer in the modern game. After all, if speed was the most important thing there is... I'd be the world's best lover.

Carlton were then linked to Petch because they had just lost about $38m worth of players to St Kilda and needed depth in the forward half of the ground. Voss is really keen for Carlton to get more speed on their clangers in 2026.
After all, Petch has experience in what makes Carlton 'Carlton' - missing finals, and playing in the shadow of a Cripps.

Fun fact: Petch has decided to play for Subiaco in 2026, marking very little change from his 2025 season.

Jack, congrats on the engagement this year and welcome to the bottom 40 for 2025.

Great result for Petch. He could sit comfortably in the top 10 of this list. Goodbye Jack, thanks for the memory

 

[spenze]

Player #17 - Jack Petruccelle
View attachment 2498289
Pictured: WA fashion

Jack Petruccelle is a 26 year old who managed 2 games this year, both as the sub, for a team that sucked so hard this year their official club colours have been changed to "Bonnie-Blue and Gold".

Known as a 'speedster' more than a footballer, Jack unfortunately found out that you need more than just speed to be a footballer in the modern game. After all, if speed was the most important thing there is... I'd be the world's best lover.

Carlton were then linked to Petch because they had just lost about $38m worth of players to St Kilda and needed depth in the forward half of the ground. Voss is really keen for Carlton to get more speed on their clangers in 2026.
After all, Petch has experience in what makes Carlton 'Carlton' - missing finals, and playing in the shadow of a Cripps.

Fun fact: Petch has decided to play for Subiaco in 2026, marking very little change from his 2025 season.

Jack, congrats on the engagement this year and welcome to the bottom 40 for 2025.

Some quality lines in this one

 

[largebus]

View attachment 2498163

Wife: If your wife and mother in law were being attacked by a tiger, who would you save?

Husband: The tiger - there's not enough of them left in the wild.

The husband is now in ICU.

Apparently 1 out of 3 people cheat in a relationship. In my case, I just wish I knew if the guilty party was my wife or my girlfriend.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a super hero, and the other is a command.

Did Lachie Neale sleep with your wife too phil?

 

[spenze]

Did Lachie Neale sleep with your wife too phil?

I think at this stage if Lachie hasn't slept with your wife you have to start thinking what is wrong with her

 

[The Sultan]

I think at this stage if Lachie hasn't slept with your wife you have to start thinking what is wrong with her

phew .... not married, so my partners safe. hes more than welcome to my ex-wife.

 

[AlecDuncan]

A survey of American women asked “would you sleep with Bill Clinton?”.

78% said “never again”.

 

[AlecDuncan]

I’m reduced to stealing @philreich’s material while waiting for Mofra to finish this.

 

[largebus]

BREAKING NEWS: Tess Crossley claims she slept with Flight Centre worker from Footscray

 

[Duck Farmer]

a team that sucked so hard this year their official club colours have been changed to "Bonnie-Blue and Gold"

* chef's kiss *

 

[darklake]

BREAKING NEWS: Tess Crossley claims she slept with Flight Centre worker from Footscray

Mof's gone upmarket. He now lives in Yarraville.

 

[Sainter3and7]

Mofra, I remember this was a drain on you, and you didn't do it last year... take your time mate. If you need to stop, just do it. It's entertaining, but don't feel pressure. Think of yourself... I don't know your circumstances, but this time of the year is hard on a lot of us... so do what's best for you... and whether you finish or not, it's been a lot of lols for everyone anyway. Thanks and happy Christmas.

 

[TimZoo]

They will win one shortly after Godot turns up.

That's the kind of university level quality cultural reference i hang out in the bigfooty forums for

 

[Pistol Night]

Mofra, I remember this was a drain on you, and you didn't do it last year... take your time mate. If you need to stop, just do it. It's entertaining, but don't feel pressure. Think of yourself... I don't know your circumstances, but this time of the year is hard on a lot of us... so do what's best for you... and whether you finish or not, it's been a lot of lols for everyone anyway. Thanks and happy Christmas.

Well said. Composing so many post with absolute ball tearing zingers in them wouldn't be easy so quality over quantity is more than fair

 

[All Aust]

Merry Christmas Mofra.

 

[Mofra]

Mof's gone upmarket. He now lives in Yarraville.

My dad has lived in Yarraville for almost 70 years.
It's certainly different to when he moved in...

 

[Mofra]

Player #16 - Elijah Hollands

Pictured: I can't believe people have questioned this guy's temperament

Elijah Hollands is a supremely talented former pick #7 from an expansion club who hasn't developed well in the AFL system, so of course he ended up being traded to Carlton.

Elijah first played for Carlton in 2023. He was also suspended from the AFL for drug possession in 2023. After only 45 more chances, he was told to "explore his options" at the end of 2025 despite Carlton being perfectly happy with his brother Ollie. After meeting with Gold Coast's Melbourne talent scout (who has an office in the second stall of Rev's between the hours of 2am and 3.30am Sunday mornings) no other club wanted to touch him.
He's currently a 'train on' player at the Blues which also describes how his Eshay mates get around Melbourne.

Unlike his Sunday mornings, Elijah just hasn't kicked-on in the AFL system. Rumours of partying and a lack of professionalism have really curtailed his career. This isn't an touring English test team Elijah, this is the AFL, and even clubs in a perpetual rebuilding phase expect you to have some decorum.

This year he still managed to roll out for 5 games including a 25 disposal effort in a Carlton win against Geelong so off trend that Jamarra turned up to training that week out of pure shock. Elijah's last game was a match against the Swans in which Sydney won the game, and Charlie Curtnow's heart.

Despite all of these speed humps, Carlton have given Hollands one last chance to ressurect his AFL career in a move so loyal we can rule out Lachie Neale

9

Lachie Neale

Age

32

Ht

177cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

27.0

5star

K

11.5

4star

HB

15.5

5star

M

4.0

4star

T

3.7

5star

CL

5.9

5star

D

28.3

5star

K

13.9

5star

HB

14.4

5star

M

4.6

4star

T

4.0

5star

CL

5.9

5star

D

12.0

3star

K

4.6

2star

HB

7.4

5star

M

2.0

3star

T

1.0

3star

CL

0.4

3star

ever playing for Carlton.

Fun fact: Track watchers at Carlton said Elijah had a really good session last week. He's also been training well.

Good luck wherever you end up next year Elijah, and welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.