Opinion The joys and madnesses of relationships...

[JB1975]

I have a Collingwood gnome in my garden, his name is Tarkyn and we have been together a long time, way before I met my Richmond wife. Was in the garden today and noticed the white stripes have at some point been covered with yellow electrical tape. What do you do when the woman you love violates your garden gnome?

First step is to reclaim the little fella. No need to say a word to the beloved, but pain the no. 7 on Tarkyn's back and start calling him Adam instead.

 

[Vicky Park]

I have a Collingwood gnome in my garden, his name is Tarkyn and we have been together a long time, way before I met my Richmond wife. Was in the garden today and noticed the white stripes have at some point been covered with yellow electrical tape. What do you do when the woman you love violates your garden gnome?

I have a Collingwood garden gnome too, his name is Bob Rose. We could bring the two gnomes together, to generate a new...Wait, probably not a good idea. My husband named him, BTW, and he's a Geelong supporter.

Sorry to hear of your wife's affliction.

 

[deltablues]

On the topic of 'madnesses'. Husband has made several critical errors this weekend, i.e. failed to read my shopping list correctly.

Came home with a white sourdough loaf, instead of a white French loaf. There is a difference. A very big difference.

Was despatched to obtain a shoulder of lamb, for a Greek style roasting. Came back with something resembling lamb, but a shoulder it aint. There is a difference. A very big difference.

My wife, like you, is very particular in her vittles requirements. Regrettably , when sent on a shopping run, I sometimes (OK, often) come back with the wrong product.

Knowing her fastidiousness you might think that she would over-react. But she is very forgiving and still loves me. In fact she thinks that I am divine: e.g. Jesus, this is the wrong brand of triple organic olive oil/Christ, didn't I ask you to get green, not red, chillis?

 

[Tarkyn_24]

First step is to reclaim the little fella. No need to say a word to the beloved, but pain the no. 7 on Tarkyn's back and start calling him Adam instead.

Or alternatively, bring Jarryd Blair home and stick him in your garden??

 

[JB1975]

Or alternatively, bring Jarryd Blair home and stick him in your garden??

A good suggestion, except that Blair is currently engaged as full-time BF whipping boy (with some football on the side), and I believe he moonlights as a doorstop.

 

[nahnah]

WalterBlaknWhte you still around

 

[Vicky Park]

WalterBlaknWhte you still around

Nah, he's taking a sabbatical.

 

[Tarkyn_24]

I lost a bet with the better half, supposedly wearing a Carlton guernsey to our match up in May.

The question is do I break up with her now, or do I wait until the end of April???

 

[Saintly Viewed]

I lost a bet with the better half, supposedly wearing a Carlton guernsey to our match up in May.

The question is do I break up with her now, or do I wait until the end of April???

Depends really doesn't it?
What's in it for you?

And her ofcourse

 

[Saintly Viewed]

One predicament, unsure we've tackled in these threads:

• What happens when you really like a girl (or guy) and you pluck up the courage to ask her (him) out and you find out they have a partner......

All that effort? Was it worth it? Did you really dodge a bullett? Is it really all about timing?
These conundrums and more......

 

[Soups]

One predicament, unsure we've tackled in these threads:

• What happens when you really like a girl (or guy) and you pluck up the courage to ask her (him) out and you find out they have a partner......

All that effort? Was it worth it? Did you really dodge a bullett? Is it really all about timing?
These conundrums and more......

I'd say move on. No point trying to persist because it always ends up harder in the long run. Cut it, and keep going forward.

 

[WakeUpPies]

Another vote for moving on. Plenty of girls / guys out there for everyone. Younger WakeUpPies made a few "terrible mistakes" messing around with taken girls and regret it every single time (slow learner). Lost friends & objectively resulted in "worst night of my life!!!"

Just got to move on! I'm with the perfect girl right now - met her a week after aborting a potentially horrid situation. Scary to think I might have missed out if I persisted with being an idiot.

 

[Saintly Viewed]

Another vote for moving on. Plenty of girls / guys out there for everyone. Younger WakeUpPies made a few "terrible mistakes" messing around with taken girls and regret it every single time (slow learner). Lost friends & objectively resulted in "worst night of my life!!!"

Just got to move on! I'm with the perfect girl right now - met her a week after aborting a potentially horrid situation. Scary to think I might have missed out if I persisted with being an idiot.

Sage advice

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

My kids have marked their heights on the back of the pantry door since they were little

16 year-old son has just exceeded my height

Noticed tonight he has crowned his new mark in large gangsta graffiti: 'who won bitchez'

Will forget his birthday again this year

 

[Maggie5]

My kids have marked their heights on the back of the pantry door since they were little

16 year-old son has just exceeded my height

Noticed tonight he has crowned his new mark in large gangsta graffiti: 'who won bitchez'

Will forget his birthday again this year

Kids isn't so bad, try your grand-daughter taller than you and she just turned 13.
I have a chart in the kitchen and have been marking their height every three months since they were six. Fortunately still taller than my 11 year old grandson. Feel sorry for him but I reassured him won't be too long and I will have to look up to him too.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

Was reminiscing with Dad about Frankston in the eighties: gang fights on Young Street, police cars being upturned, underage everything at the Bay City Disco.

He then said sincerely, 'South Frankston is different. It's the Toorak of the South'

Smart guy. Who has sadly now lost his marbles.

 

[JB1975]

Was reminiscing with Dad about Frankston in the eighties: gang fights on Young Street, police cars being upturned, underage everything at the Bay City Disco.

He then said sincerely, 'South Frankston is different. It's the Toorak of the South'

Smart guy. Who has sadly now lost his marbles.

I grew up around the centre of Frankston in those colourful days. They seem like a dream, sometimes unpleasant, but I also feel some fondness for them.

I have a relative who is losing touch with the world. It causes pain, and the pain has hardly run its course. Those flashing memories and crystal insights are a divine relief. And yes, Frankston South is a beautiful part of the world.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

I grew up around the centre of Frankston in those colourful days...

Oh, sorry for my inelegant prose JB, Dad isn't losing his marbles. Well, he has taught himself selected Hindi so that he can abuse telemarketers...

No, Dad has simply forgotten the reality of then living in South Frankston (personal highlight: Dad in his white y-fronts fighting 2 hoons to recapture his rubbish bin lid). Sweet Jesus, sharpies set our cubby on fire - with us still in it - shot us with air rifles in Sweetwater Creek, and stole our fish and chips.

 

[JB1975]

Oh, sorry for my inelegant prose JB, Dad isn't losing his marbles. Well, he has taught himself selected Hindi so that he can abuse telemarketers...

No, Dad has simply forgotten the reality of then living in South Frankston (personal highlight: Dad in his white y-fronts fighting 2 hoons to recapture his rubbish bin lid). Sweet Jesus, sharpies set our cubby on fire - with us still in it - shot us with air rifles in Sweetwater Creek, and stole our fish and chips.

Well Walter, you've gone and obliterated my notion that life on the hill was an oasis... At least you would have enjoyed a lovely view of the Bay while that cubby burned.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

WAR CRIMES IN THE KITCHEN PART 1

As a 19 year-old, I had just moved into a flat with my girlfriend.

Cool girl, still trying to impress her, so I volunteered to cook our first dinner.

Cut up the food in nice OCD shapes, heated the wok, and threw a large amount of curry powder straight on the metal.

Those of you familiar with the effects of mustard gas in WW1 understand what I had inadvertently caused.

Girlfriend and I were assaulted by a toxic pall. Our eyes streamed and we choke-coughed for a long time.

There was no post-poisoning make-up sex that night.

 

[Magpie Girl]

WAR CRIMES IN THE KITCHEN PART 1

As a 19 year-old, I had just moved into a flat with my girlfriend.

Cool girl, still trying to impress her, so I volunteered to cook our first dinner.

Cut up the food in nice OCD shapes, heated the wok, and threw a large amount of curry powder straight on the metal.

Those of you familiar with the effects of mustard gas in WW1 understand what I had inadvertently caused.

Girlfriend and I were assaulted by a toxic pall. Our eyes streamed and we choke-coughed for a long time.

There was no post-poisoning make-up sex that night.

Cant wait for part 2

A nuclear blast?

 

[Vicky Park]

Cant wait for part 2

A nuclear blast?

I hope part 2 didn't involve waiting for oil to boil.

(I did that at 19, and nearly burnt down my rented share house in St Kilda)

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

WAR CRIMES IN THE KITCHEN PART 2

Mate taught English in Japan for several years. He returned to Australia with his beautiful, very sweet, Japanese fiancee.

Fiancee kindly hosted a dinner party for a group of us - featuring multiple dishes of exotic kimchi she bought in South Korea.

Normal kimchi is an acquired taste but bearable. However, the first dish this night had a malevolent, putrid odour and a truly horrible taste. Not wanting our lovely host to lose face, we ate.

Proceeding rounds of kimchi became more expensive and more vile - as if they had been fermented in the intestines of rotting beasts. We guests used subterfuge to purge the anti-morsels: coughing into napkins, visiting the toilet with full mouths etc

When dessert was announced the table sighed in collective relieve that we had survived the ordeal.

Upon departure we all lied about what a magnificent meal it had been. We had no idea that the true horror of the kimchi would strike several hours later.

 

[Black_White]

WAR CRIMES IN THE KITCHEN PART 2

Mate taught English in Japan for several years. He returned to Australia with his beautiful, very sweet, Japanese fiancee.

Fiancee kindly hosted a dinner party for a group of us - featuring multiple dishes of exotic kimchi she bought in South Korea.

Normal kimchi is an acquired taste but bearable. However, the first dish this night had a malevolent, putrid odour and a truly horrible taste. Not wanting our lovely host to lose face, we ate.

Proceeding rounds of kimchi became more expensive and more vile - as if they had been fermented in the intestines of rotting beasts. We guests used subterfuge to purge the anti-morsels: coughing into napkins, visiting the toilet with full mouths etc

When dessert was announced the table sighed in collective relieve that we had survived the ordeal.

Upon departure we all lied about what a magnificent meal it had been. We had no idea that the true horror of the kimchi would strike several hours later.

You, and your mates, are true friends.
Well done.

 

[WalterBlaknWhte]

WAR CRIMES IN THE KITCHEN PART 3

Wife returned home from a ten hour Cup Day lunch. She is absolutely trolleyed. Left her to her own devices in the kitchen: some clanging, carbon aromas, and cursing.

Once she left, I entered the kitchen to do some remediation work. All reasonably straight-forward except for this small blob on the bench. Ignoring all that I know about HazChem, I tried to pick up the blob, assuming it was silicon. Nup, it's freaking super glue.

Now, all set for a second round of acetone.

EDIT 1: found out the super glue had been used in an attempt to repair her shoe.

EDIT 2: may need to visit the Chinese nail salon in the morning - expect they will use something from Chernobyl on me.