Lame Jokes Part 2

May 20, 2001
39,274
51,394
Kufa, Iraq
AFL Club
Adelaide
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Banhammer Big House Under 70s
A white hunter walking through the jungle comes across a dead elephant, and sitting on top of the carcass is a pygmy.

"Who killed this elephant?", asks the white hunter.

"I did Bwana" replied the pygmy.

"My God, l'm speechless", says the hunter, "how on earth did you kill it?"

"With my club, Bwana" said the pygmy.

The hunter stands there with his mouth open in amazement. "Bloody hell!" He said, "How big is your club?"

The pygmy jumps down off the elephant, looks up at the hunter, and says, "Well, there's about a 150 of us at the moment"o_O
 

worbod

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 26, 2008
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Bendigo
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Western Bulldogs
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Liverpool
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of her prep class was squirming around, scratching his groin area and not paying attention.
"What's the matter Andy?" she asked.
Andy was quite embarrassed and whispered, "I've only just been circumcised the other day and it's itchy."
"Go down to the principal's office," the teacher instructed him. "Phone your mum and ask her what you should do."
Andy did this and soon returned to the class and sat down in his seat. Suddenly there was a great commotion at the back of the room. The teacher could see Andy sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
"What are you doing?" the teacher said angrily. "I thought I told you to call your mum."
"I did," Andy said. "She told me that if I could stick it out until noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.:"
 
May 20, 2001
39,274
51,394
Kufa, Iraq
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Banhammer Big House Under 70s
The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night.
I told her I was looking for cheap flights.
"I love you..!" she said, and then she got all excited, unzipped my trousers and gave me the most amazing sex ever....
...which is really odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before..!:eek:
 
May 20, 2001
39,274
51,394
Kufa, Iraq
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Banhammer Big House Under 70s
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.

The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the manager.

“Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”;)
 
May 20, 2001
39,274
51,394
Kufa, Iraq
AFL Club
Adelaide
Other Teams
Banhammer Big House Under 70s
After checking into the hotel, Father Willy O’Dilly finds a Bible on the bed-side table.
He reads it for a couple of hours and then leaves his room and wanders into the lobby Where he strikes up a conversation with the pretty young receptionist.

After she finished work, they share a few drinks in the bar and then retire to Father O’Dilly’s room, but when the priest starts removing her clothes, she begins to have second thoughts.

"Are you sure this is alright?” she asks. ”I mean, you are a priest.”

“Don’t worry, my dear,” he replies, ”it is written in the Bible.”
She believes him and the two of them spend a very pleasant night together.

But in the morning, as the girl is preparing to leave, she says, ”You know, Father, I don’t remember that part in the Bible you mentioned last night. Could you show it to me?”

So the priest takes the Bible from the bed-side table, opens the cover and points to the bottom of the title page, where someone had scribbled in: 'The receptionist is a great root!' :)
 
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