Lame Jokes Part 2

[rocker_oz33]

What do you call a Mexican without a car, or stolen car..?

Carlos.

 

[Wallaby]

Do you ever go into a room and forget what you went in there for? Well, that’s I lost my job as a fireman.

 

[worbod]

I bought a copy of Mick Hucknall's autobiography the other day. It was simply read.

 

[Wallaby]

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven

 

[worbod]

How did Jerry Hall end up with Rupert Murdoch?

She crawled out from under a Stone.

 

[worbod]

As an assistant scoutmaster, I was asked to vacuum the boys' sleeping quarters last weekend while they went on a hike. The pressure was in tents.

 

[Wallaby]

When I was scoutmaster, we went on a hike, but after one of the camping shelters ripped while putting it up, I had a foreboding of disaster.

I felt it was a poor tent.

 

[GreyCrow]

I knew some soldiers that preferred standing outside their tents rather than sleep in them

A Tent Shun

 

[Wallaby]

Anyway - so I bought a really cheap tent from the Bargain shop. It actually wasn't too bad, so I said to the wife 'OK, let's see how good it really is, we'll try it in the snow'.

She wasn't sure it would be strong enough, but I explained 'Now is the winter of our discount tent'.

 

[tigertigertiger]

Anyway - so I bought a really cheap tent from the Bargain shop. It actually wasn't too bad, so I said to the wife 'OK, let's see how good it really is, we'll try it in the snow'.

She wasn't sure it would be strong enough, but I explained 'Now is the winter of our discount tent'.

I bought a beach version last summer, got tow days of use out of it, binned , maybe I was just dismantling it too drunken disorderly or it was of bad quality, damn u anaconda

 

[worbod]

I began writing a joke about a construction site but I wasn't able to build upon it.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

I began writing a joke about a construction site but I wasn't able to build upon it.

Weren't the foundations laid?

 

[GreyCrow]

I wanted to try a joke about boxing but I couldnt find a punch line

 

[RedmanWasHere]

Where do Golf players go to shield themselves from natural disasters?

The bunker.

 

[Wallaby]

I went to a seminar on positive thinking. It was crap.

 

[winty]

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in Dog.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.

 

[philreich]

Well, at least I'm in shape.

Round is a shape, isn't it?

Reminds me of myself: I'm 4 feet 6 inches tall - lying down!!!!!

 

[philreich]

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?

Steven

I'm a member of the NAD - the National Dyslexia Association.

 

[worbod]

I wanted to write a joke about Deja vu but you've probably heard it before.

 

[worbod]

I wanted to write a joke about Deja vu but you've probably heard it before.

 

[worbod]

Why did Ellen Barkin get arrested at a rain-forest protection rally?

She was Barkin up the wrong tree.

 

[Wallaby]

I bought my friend an elephant for his living room.

He said 'Thanks!'.

I said 'Don't mention it'.

 

[Damp Squarie]

Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman.

The doctor said, 'Your heart would be just below your left breast.' ................................Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.

 

[worbod]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery.

 

[worbod]

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift