Funny sayings!

[Bet on Blue]

All over the place like a mad woman's s**t
Useless as a red light in Grand Theft Auto
Welcome as a turd in a swimming pool

 

[Power Raid]

I'm an ex sailor, its also where the term 'Pussers' comes from.
And no I didn't...before you ask

really? I always thought it was derived from purser and 100% service but your suggestion makes more sense

oh and perhaps a blast from the past....HMAS Sydney back in the day

 

[Damp Squarie]

Welcome as a turd in a swimming pool

I surreptitiously dropped a polly waffle in the bosses pool at at 'work' Christmas show a few years back - created quite a commotion.

 

[Damp Squarie]

really? I always thought it was derived from purser and 100% service but your suggestion makes more sense

oh and perhaps a blast from the past....HMAS Sydney back in the day

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Hammocks were before my time.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

If I was any more laid back I'd be sleeping.

 

[Pali23]

He's such a generous bloke he'd give you his a-hole and s**t through his ribs.

 

[Percel]

A useless coworker

"Your parents should have a chicken, at least they would have got an egg a day"

"You're as good as two blokes away"

 

[Damp Squarie]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8 ) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

 

[Wallaby]

In more s**t than a Werribee duck.

Haven't laughed so much since father died.

I've had more fun at the dentist.

 

[Hard Ball Get]

Save your breath for cooling your porridge

 

[pebblestone]

Was reminded of a funny one the other day.
My father in law calls blow flies "dunny budgies".

 

[Double the Fist]

Was reminded of a funny one the other day.
My father in law calls blow flies "dunny budgies".

LOL, some can be as big!!

 

[jungle666]

I feel like I’ve been put through the wringer

 

[BLUEALLTHRU]

If your aunt had balls...she'd be your uncle.

 

[JW Frogen]

There is more than one way to skin a cat

But all of them mean you are probably going to end up a serial killer.

 

[Socrates2]

If you're looking for an exclamation "Bugger me with a fish fork" always works.
He's a real 'Tow rag' refers to a peice of cloth tied to rope at an end of a ship, that dangled in the water.It was used by all the ships crew to wipe themselves.

 

[Socrates2]

"Your cockup, my ass" refers to a work colleague making a blunder ,which results in you losing your job.

 

[Deliverance]

Oxygen thief

 

[Socrates2]

I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on.

 

[Monocle]

If she had as many pricks sticking out of her she had stuck up her she would look like a porcupine.

Western Australia term for a very promiscuous woman “Rottnest” .
Everyone has been there.

Same school of thought
“ she has had more guys ride her than a Rotto hire bike.”

 

[philreich]

I remember a line from the only 5 minutes of "Caroline in the City" that I ever watched. This guy is trying to chat up a girl he likes the look of - she simply holds up a hand and says, "Can we please continue this conversation when we're both not so busy, and I'm not here?"

 

[Damp Squarie]

If she had as many pricks sticking out of her she had stuck up her she would look like a porcupine.

Thats what the local coppers call their Superintendents car; I've never seen so many aerials hanging off of one car.

 

[Damp Squarie]

LOL my grandpa used to use this saying all the time. Never heard anyone else say it apart from him.

"As full as a fat ladys sock" isn't a bad one either....not to mention "As full as a doctors wallet'.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

A bloke I used to work with had one that always cracked me up. When a shop assistant asked, “Would you like a bag?”, he would reply, “Don’t you think I’ve got enough to carry?”

 

[Iva Bigun]

Off like a brides nightie

Off like a Jewish foreskin