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  1. The Royal Sampler

    The Collingwood (Long) Chant

    I may be old and out of touch, but I’m getting furious at emcees with microphones trying to stir up the chant in what strikes me as a very exploitative fashion. It’s a battle cry which should take root amongst the fans in the outer, trying with everything we can muster to lift our black and...
  2. The Royal Sampler

    NaCl ^16 🧂🧂

    Get all the salt you can handle. De-identified posts from opposition boards to make you laugh, cry, and hurl. These are my favourites so far. Apparently winning the GF is now meaningless and we were the 10th best team this year. Carltank supporter bemoans that we used our first round...
  3. The Royal Sampler

    Toast Congratulations Guinea Pig

    For now officially owning every individual record in the sport he plays, of which historians will agree he, like Tom Wills for Aussie Rules, is the undoubted forefather and architect albeit unwillingly. The sport is best described as “very much like AFL except that Jack Ginnivan gets no...
  4. The Royal Sampler

    Autopsy A Thought To Help You Process What We Just Witnessed

    Geelong were the best team of the home and away season. They clearly ought to have been able to play with home ground advantage through the finals. They don’t get it for reasons which are obvious to all, but that doesn’t make it right. The 2-3 goals better team they are at home is probably...
  5. The Royal Sampler

    What If The Greatest Trick The Devil Ever Pulled…

    Was convincing the AFL world that he didn’t matter, because all his wins were by less than two goals? And like that, after three finals decided by a goal each, the Premiership Cup is gone…
  6. The Royal Sampler

    Opinion Cancelwood Magpariahs

    At what point do we, as supporters, need to be concerned that our club has become the media’s punching bag? Essendon brought it upon themselves by experimenting with drugs not approved for use in humans, whom I’m informed made up a majority of their playing list at the time. Carltank did what...
  7. The Royal Sampler

    NFL NFL Dynasty League Vacancy on MFL

  8. The Royal Sampler

    Opinion The Baton

    The down year we’ve just endured, and the hyperbole over Nicky D has gotten me thinking about who our best players have been over the time I’ve followed the Maggies. Not our “better” players, or even our Copeland winners necessarily (as it heavily rewards consistency, remaining injury-free...
  9. The Royal Sampler

    Season 2021.2 starts June 5th!

    The first 11 rounds never happened, although strangely we lead the H2H with the cheats. That aside, every team is 0-0 and whatever happens, we get Daicos at the end of the year. Grundy, Adams and Howe got injured in preseason but they’ll be back. Kids are going to get an extended run. Get...
  10. The Royal Sampler

    Game Day Grand Final Matchday Thread

    May as well lob one up. Rain is pouring down in Brisbane, enough to cause delays to races being run at Doomben. Presumably this is yet another divine intervention in Richmond’s favour? Go Cats. Much prefer they go to 10 than Richmond to 13.
  11. The Royal Sampler

    Analysis It Starts With A Midfield Coach

    Our biggest priority in the offseason, in my opinion, should be a specialist midfield coach. Our midfield is dysfunctional, and yet we are poised to pour resources into Reef and Nick Daicos over the next two years, while older stalwarts see out their careers. We can’t afford to **** this up like...
  12. The Royal Sampler

    Strategy New Team Rule

    If your name is Mayne, Brown, Broomhead, Thomas or any of our so called “forwards” who can’t kick over a jam tin... and you take a mark inside 50m; feign injury. I don’t care if it means you can’t return to the game, you sell that injury like you’re Daniel Day Lewis. We’re kicking 2 goals a...
  13. The Royal Sampler

    Bizarre Misconceptions of Non-Collingwood Supporters

    What are some of the strange conversations you’ve had with fans of rival clubs, where they have flawed assumptions/insights into our club and leave you scratching your head? I’ll share this one I had just recently... Geelong fan: “So who’ve you got this week?” Me: “Uh, Hawks at the MCG Friday...
  14. The Royal Sampler

    Sorry Jeremy

    Unreservedly. From the AFL and all 18 clubs. We’re sorry for not standing with you and saying GTFO of here, that is a mark and has been so for over a century. Discuss.
  15. The Royal Sampler

    Autopsy Eagles Post Match: We’re on to the Western Bulldogs

    That’s all I have to say after that performance.
  16. The Royal Sampler

    41 days on, and do you know what sh!#$ me?!*

    Is that we played some outstanding footy in that GF... there were huge highlights for us, amazing pieces of play and moments of which we should be proud, and be able to look back on, and to get fired up about next season... ... and yet I will never, ever watch that game again. Such a waste...
  17. The Royal Sampler

    Autopsy Parallels

    Many people have compared our efforts this year to the 2002 team; I think a more apt comparison is the 2007 team which made the pseudo GF otherwise known as the PF against Geelong, and went down by... 5 points. That team was also not the best of its year, it featured a great crop of young...
  18. The Royal Sampler

    Unofficial Preview Is This Our Biggest H&A Game Since Rd 16, 2010?

    After having been embarrassed by the Saints for years, we faced them in round 3, 2010 at Etihad and despite outplaying them in many facets of the game, generating more scoring shots, we recorded a meagre 4.17 and lost by nearly five goals. Round 16 saw the MCG rematch, Pendles forecast the...
  19. The Royal Sampler

    List Mgmt. Fetch Me My Ink Pot And Quill...

    Bye week and it’s time to sign, lads. 8-4 at the break and if you want to be part of a team on the rise, you’ll need to commit. Go!
  20. The Royal Sampler

    Analysis Completely Subjective Post-Round-One List Analysis

    There are many ways to analyse a list of players, be it on the basis of stats, age profile, or position. However stats can be accumulated cheaply, players can be young and crap or old and still elite, and roles can change week to week or quarter to quarter. So I present you instead with a...
  21. The Royal Sampler

    Roast Did Bucks seriously just bag Adams' game in his presser?

    He played three quarters at full forward, Nathan. He threw himself at the ball and the man, showed poise to find Moore for a goal, got the ball out in front of Fasolo for another, and took some marks deep in the pocket which, much like our guys who are actually in the team as forwards, failed to...
  22. The Royal Sampler

    Opinion Changes Rd 4 vs St Kilda (He's back! Elliott in, plus Blair and Dunn in squad. Team in OP)

    [***Mod edit, squad added to OP***] Collingwood B: Jeremy Howe, Henry Schade, Jackson Ramsay HB: Josh Smith, Ben Reid, Brayden Maynard C: Steele Sidebottom, Scott Pendlebury, Jack Crisp HF: Travis Varcoe, Jesse White, Tim Broomhead F: Alex Fasolo, Darcy Moore, Jamie Elliott Foll: Brodie Grundy...
  23. The Royal Sampler

    Opinion Round 2 - The Positives Thread

    1. Will Hoskin-Elliot already looks like he was worth a second round pick, especially given our recent record with second round picks. 2. We are undefeated in April so far this season. 3. At last check, Jamie Elliott and Daniel Wells are still alive. 4. Grundy is becoming a gun. 5. To the best...
  24. The Royal Sampler

    The 2017 League Average Minimum Kicking Team

    With Clokey's papers stamped, one distinct possibility for 2017 is that we field a team who can mostly kick properly. Radical thinking, I know. B: Ramsay, ?, Maynard HB: Scharenberg, Reid, Howe C: Sidebottom, Adams, Aish HF: Elliott, Moore, Varcoe F: Fasolo, Cox, White Fo: Grundy, Pendlebury...
  25. The Royal Sampler

    I'm a bad father... I'm also fat!

    Games I've taken my sons to in 2016: Collingwood vs St Kilda Collingwood vs Melbourne Games I've left my sons at home for: Collingwood vs Richmond Collingwood vs Essendon Collingwood vs Brisbane Collingwood vs Geelong QED. I'm taking them to the Port game in round 11, so come on Pies, do...
  26. The Royal Sampler

    News See you in a week

    Public service announcement; I'm taking a week off the board, there is nothing about being on here over the next week which is going to make me happier or more fulfilled as a person. I invite those of you who are likely to see their lives engulfed by arguing with trolls and those who take...
  27. The Royal Sampler

    Positives Thread - Post Round 3

    Took a while to summon up the motivation this week; here we go. 1. We are undefeated this season with Travis Varcoe. 2. Goodyear didn't completely suck on debut. 3. We should be 0-3 but aren't. 4. Pendles' ribs should be one week further healed. 5. Sidebottom IN, Vince OUT.
  28. The Royal Sampler

    So Crazy It Might Just Work

    This is a thread to post serious hypotheses for changes which might improve our premiership aspirations, but by the same token may see you labelled as a complete lunatic. *Puts flameproof jacket on* Teach Travis Cloke to kick set shots on his right He showed on Friday night that his right...
  29. The Royal Sampler

    The Round 1 Positives Thread

    Never a good sign having to have a positives thread. This one should be short. 1 - Adam Treloar's debut in black and white. 2 - Adams and Blair tried their hearts out. 3 - Levi Greenwood got better as the game went on. 4 - Ramsay got through a game uninjured. 5 - Fasolo is not in a wheelchair...
  30. The Royal Sampler

    It's Time To Stop Demonizing Men (pls read OP)

    [mod edit] Folks, This thread was created to discuss the issue of demonising men. It is not an excuse to post anti-men or anti-women or any other prejudiced content. If anybody wants to discuss the issue of demonising women - go for it, but do it in another thread and keep it free of...

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