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  1. jackster83

    Toast 400 Games for Swamprats Legend and former [redacted] player

    This week sees one of the most well known and loved Sweet FA figures play his 400th Sweet FA game. He's not around as much these days, but he's still involved in the various coterie groups that are involved in the club, and may be currently plotting to overthrow the Rats' coach, captain and CEO...
  2. jackster83

    Toast League's Best Full Back hits 200 Games

    This week against the checks notes Mount Buller Demons, one of Sin City's most important players will finally play his 200th Sweet FA game. Having started as a forward, he moved around several times, before enjoying a solid stint for the Royals. After one of the longest noted hiatus in qooty...
  3. jackster83

    Swamprats Chaos Continues - 450 Gamer Calls for Calm

    The unrest at Sin City continues to escalate, with a legend of the Sweet FA and the Rats urging calm. Following a disappointing loss at home to the Bombers, which resulted in ugly scenes in the crowd, firebrand rookie Samcro24 and vice captain damicky were spotted coming to blows at training...
  4. jackster83

    Toast Bombers and Swamprats Unite - Sweet FA Legend Reaches Another Milestone

    Obligatory AI slop banner This week sees one of the greatest qooty players of all time play his 550th game, against his old club. Let's give it up for Bombers and Swamprats legend ant555. Arguably the Rats' best midfielder during the halcyon days of S27-30, he has also enjoyed success...
  5. jackster83

    Official Team Thread Sin City Swamprats Season 41 Team Thread - Still Here. Still Biting!

    *Formally known as the Alberton Qootball Club Logo designed by Supercheapgiants Established - S04 (2004) Re-Established - S16 (2013) Sweet FA Premierships (3) Season 06 Alberton Swamprats 14.11 (95) defeated Las Vegas Bears 11.12 (78) FB *PAF Toots Hibbert Pred HB Porthos Ford Fairlane...
  6. jackster83

    Media Then and Now: Sackings, Dirty Rats and a Milestone

    50 years ago we heard Qough Whitlam utter the now famous words after the Qovernor Qeneral dismissed him. “Well may we say, ‘God save the Queen’, because nothing will save the governor-general” Fast forward 50 years and we have controversy in the Sweet FA with a coach of a finals-bound team...
  7. jackster83

    SCANDAL Wonders Leadership Exposed as Hypocrites

    Well well well, what do we have here? Normally I'd just laugh at a team sheet indiscretion and move on, but after how certain individuals in the Wonders LG acted after the Swamprats failed to post a team sheet earlier this year, I can't let this go. So let's take a look at what was posted...
  8. jackster83

    Media Swamprats Full Forward Crisis Deepens - Leaders Deny Unrest

    Following on from the recent announcement that 1000 goal hero okeydoke7 was moving from his traditional FF spot, the Rats have again been thrown into turmoil this week, with the position being taken away from co-captain and league great philreich. Taking the spot this week will be the Rats'...
  9. jackster83

    Prediction Pick the Scapegoat

    Seeing as a year where we were promised finals turned into a bottom four finish, obviously someone is going to have to fall on their sword. It almost certainly won't be Nicks, because the powers that be decided to extend him after an embarrassing loss in round 1. It won't be VB. He's the club...
  10. jackster83

    Media Startaris - Dual premiership winning legend reaches 200

    This week against the Roys, a much loved, dual flag winning Swamprat plays his 200th game. One of the best rookies going back to season 25, let's give it up for sataris! More importantly, let's look at this for a grand final performance: 5 kicks 5 goals In a three point win. In the words...
  11. jackster83

    Media Demons, Furies, Wonders and (most importantly) Swamprats Star cracks the ton!

    Greetings friends, I'd like to draw your attention to a big milestone being played out in this week's sudden death second semi final. A star of several clubs and the Sweet FA as a whole, this man needs no introduction. Please give it up for damicky (also known as Remy the Rat) who plays his...
  12. jackster83

    Media #phil250 *Caution Contains Dad Jokes*

    Hot on the heels of #Okey400, we've got yet another senior Swamprat playing a big milestone. After a low key start to his career at the Demons, the dual premiership player and former Rats skipper philreich plays his 250th game on the weekend against the Old Boys. 2x SFA premierships (S27...
  13. jackster83

    Media Official Club Statement - Swamprats Team Selection

    In breaking late night team selection news, it has emerged that okeydoke7 has got his wish, and will be returning to his favoured full forward position. The most controversial moment of season 36 (well the most controversial NOT involving the OOB's) happened when he was moved to CHB shortly...
  14. jackster83

    Official Team Thread Sin City Swamprats S37 Team Thread - Congratulations Damicky!!!

    Alberton Qootball Club The Sin City Swamprats - Established - S04 (2004) - Re-Established - S16 (2013) - Premierships - S6 S27 S29 - Home Ovals - The Underground (main) Alberton Oval (secondary) - Colours - Black and White; Red and Gold We the...
  15. jackster83

    Media Understated Underground hero reaches 201*

    Club media statement The Sin City Swamprats wish to congratulate Firestarter on his 200th game last week. Due to the distractions caused by the okeydoke7 meltdown technical issues, the milestone was not picked up on. A fiery character, this dual premiership Swamprat and season 34 Captain's...
  16. jackster83

    Official Team Thread Sin City Swamprats S36 Team Thread - Congratulations Philreich S36 Toots Hibbert Medallist!

    Alberton Qootball Club The Sin City Swamprats - Established - S04 (2004) - Re-Established - S16 (2013) - Home Ovals - The Underground (main) Alberton Oval (secondary) - Colours - Black and White; Red and Gold We the players and management of the...
  17. jackster83

    Media Swamprats say Parabéns!

    This week against the Bears sees one of Sin City’s most well known characters reach the 100 game milestone. The Rats’ ruckman, who also hails from nearby the Uruguay River (in Brazil though) joined the club during our golden era and has since become a leader and influence at the Underground...
  18. jackster83

    Media Sweet FA Immortal smacks down 50 game wannabees

    This week sees a Rats and Bombers legend reach the 450 game milestone. We had hired a limo for him, but unfortunately there was an incident. Rather than wait for a Quber, he decided to take his own transport to the press conference. A capacity crowd at the Underground Stadium were there...
  19. jackster83

    Official Team Thread S35 – Alberton Qootball Club, the Sin City Swamprats ["What have the Romans ever done for us?"] - Congrats GremioPower Toots medal winner!!!

    Alberton Qootball Club The Sin City Swamprats - Established - S04 (2004) - Re-Established - S16 (2013) - Home Ovals - The Underground (main) Alberton Oval (secondary) - Colours - Black and White; Red and Gold We the players and management of the Alberton...
  20. jackster83

    Media The Finest Dad Jokes - 200 Edition

    Hold on to your juice boxes, this week sees the finest jokester and the co-captain of the Sin City Swamprats, philreich play his 200th Sweet FA game. His CV reads almost as well as Kim Jong Un's golfing record: 199* games (17 Mt Buller Demons, 182 Sin City Swamprats) Captain since mid-way...
  21. jackster83

    Analysis Why are we so terrible at overhead marking?

    This has been a bugbear of mine for a while. We simply lack competitiveness in the air. This year we are ranked 17th for contested marking, and in recent weeks we've lost the contested mark count 20-4 and 12-5. This follows from last year where we had games where we lost the contested marking...
  22. jackster83

    Media Incoming Sweet FA Admin clocks up another milestone

    This weekend against his former side, the leading SFA admin candidate will clock up his 200th Sweet FA game. Let’s have a big round of applause for the man otherwise known as Clod and current co-captain of the Sin City Swamprats - Kennedy Parker. The man himself has a mighty CV: 199* games –...
  23. jackster83

    Media ***BREAKING NEWS*** - Swamprats Call Press Conference

    In an unusual move, the Sin City Swamprats have issued a statement confirming a press conference for 0500 GMT today. The spokesrat declined to provide any additional information. Speculation has already started on qreddit as to whether it is covid related, or if it has anything to do with...
  24. jackster83

    Media 400 of the best - celebrating a Rats/Bombers legend

    Welcome back to the first installment of Ratsmedia for season 32. This week sees one of the all time legends of the SFA reach the 400 game mark. With more premierships than Victoria has had lockdowns*, this legend has seen and done it all in his time in the SFA. Please be standing and give a...
  25. jackster83

    2021 Non-Crows AFL Talk 2: are the VFL corrupt?

    Guys like ROB, Himmelberg and Walker were in full-on self preservation mode all game. No chance they fly the flag for a fallen team mate.
  26. jackster83

    Media What's the only thing better than a Swamprat reaching 250 games?

    Hint, it’s not the Wonders being de-registered as a club. That’s a bit harsh, even if it would be funny. No, the correct answer is two Swamprats concurrently reaching the coveted 250 game milestone. Two of Sin City’s finest campaigners (yes the swear filter works well) will bring up the 250...
  27. jackster83

    Media Rat of the Week - Official Media Thread

    After weeks of resisting posters, PM’s and a change.qorg petition that garnered a whopping six signatures, I have relented and decided that the #ratoftheweek will get its own media thread. Join me as I get up close and personal with one of Sin City’s finest each week. More to come.
  28. jackster83

    Media The Swampratto's - An Inside Look

    Qent Brockman reporting here. This week, ahead of the SFA season 30 grand final, I paid a visit to the most envied club in the league and hot favourites in this week’s big match: the Sin City Swamprats. Not only is the club set to play in its third grand final in four seasons, but they also have...
  29. jackster83

    Media Another Rats star raises the bat!

    The celebrations just keep on coming in 2020 - the year of the Rat. This week in a hotly anticipated clash against the Wayneless Bombers, LukeParkerno1 brings up his 100th game. When he's not stealing beer kegs or winning Qooty premiership medals, he does his best work on the tennis and...
  30. jackster83

    Media Star Rat Brings up the Ton!

    This weekend against the *checks notes* Dragons, dual premiership winning full forward SarahSmiles brings up game 100! From the moment I joined the Rats in season 26, she he was the most welcoming of the lot. While the other Rats didn't hesitate to steal my keys, wallet and shoes, SS gave me a...

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