My friends in Red and Blue.
I never made it to the Lakeside Oval which is a lifelong regret. The Swans’ first game in Sydney was against the Dees – and Adrian Battiston - in 1982. It was a novelty at the time to see the Dees live on the TV. We were visiting my grandmother’ place at the time...
When I was a boy, my mother attempted to convert me from Melbourne to Richmond on the basis that the latter was more Catholic than the former . . . fair dinkum.
To the best of my recollection, Melbourne has not played in a final against Richmond in the course of my lifetime which is no bad...
Is it wrong to despise Essendon? To mock the longevity of their various curses since GF 2001? To acclaim the merits of Adrian Dodoro as a super-sleuth recruiter? To demand that James Hirt cross-sells skin-care as he sweeps mountains of dirt and dust under the carpet in a quixotic attempt to...
Loving Surfers’ Paradise as I do, I was tempted to adopt GC11 as my second team. That lasted about five minutes. Our record against the Suns is a proud one. What a winning streak we had! Now it is all over and we suffer the indignity of Trac – forever a demon in the sphere of the eternal –...
Friend, the first match I ever saw was Melbourne v Carlton at VFL Park in 1972. It was a butt-whooping.
Since then there have been an equal number of wins over lows – for instance:
Melb v Carlton Prelim 1988 – a gloomy day even by the lowly standards of Waverley.
Melbourne v Carlton –...
With the noonday Devil perched on my shoulder, allow me to say this: Fremantle is the WA variant of the St Kilda Aints. They will never win a premiership. Dross Lyon set them back a decade. Most of the unwatch-able games of our times usually feature Freo, the Aints and Norf. The Wizard wasted...
Brothers and sisters, thi sis a long day's journey into night. If we walk away witha defeat that is less than 80 points, it will be a miracle. Western Faildogs by 85 points. Judgement cometh and that right soon
My friends, I rank last week's defeat against the Aints with '79 VFL Park, 87 Prelim, 2011 Handbag Park and 2018 Prelim in Perth,
After such knowledge, what forgiveness?
Eagles by 40 points.
Friends I remember the day when Big Carl Ditterirch showed up at Demonland. One disastrous result at VFL Park aside, he did his best. But up against the Joe Dirts of the Compeition after the tribulations of 2025, he is no lodestar. Aints by 35 points. Share your bile after the game
Friends, the first match I saw in my life was Melbourne v Carlton at VFL Park in May of 1972 where needless to say we got pumped. I hav hated them ever siince. I revei in their misery.
Dees by 10 points.
Please share your thoughts after the game.
Friends and Brothers, today we venture to the outer provincial township that is West Horsham to do battle with their West End ruffians.
Famous victories in the past include the 1998 Final and the Schwarz & Leoncelli show in 2002 (?). Today will not feature in this list. Crows by 60+ points.
Comrades, I loathe Damian Hardwick. I dont want to be associated with anything that brings a smile to his face. Today it is unavooidable. Suns by 40. Share your anguish after the game
Here in this city of dentures, West End lager and unsolved crimes, our beloved Demons confront Poort and its unwashed legions of wanna-be bogans. Share yout thoughts after the bout. Dees by 17 points.
Comrades, when I was growing up and beyond, it was axiomatic that the footage of the 1964 GF - End of Empire - had not survived. except in those crummy Movietone excerpts where Colonel Blimp was the commentator. Much to my surprise, the entire second-half is now extant and the remaster has...
Comrades I have followed football since the GF of 1971. I opted for Melbourne as my Uncle wore number 8 in the red and the blue. Since then I have witnessed some stupendous football and exhibitions from the other side of the spectrum. To my mind, anything to do with Ross Lyon is unwatchable...
This is a club that has had our measure for a long time. Things are about to change. Dees by 7 points. In euphoria, share your thoughts after the game!
Brothers and sisters, does it not seem like a million years ago when Jako kicked 8 goals against Essendon and Shane Heard to win the 1991 EF at VFP Park (which I still so miss)? We are due lor a long winter: nostalgia is welcome under the circumstances. Bombers by 148 points. Share your tears...
Brothers and sisters - apologies for my absence. My wife and I spent a few weeks in Turkey - great stuff. We flew Singapore Airlines which was a treat in itself . . . . .
I almost swallowed my tongue at Gallipoli at the thought of Joel Duckwood strutting up and down Anzac Cver with his faux...
My friends, this is going to be uglier than the Race of the Three Legged Dogs. They owe us. Form in August is everything: Poort have it in spades. Anything less than a 50 point pumping would be a godsend. But the end if not yet. Poort by 85 points and the Devil take us all . . .
Friends, whatever might happen to you in life - you might have no hair, a bad wife, no cash and a dead-end job where you're the human mattress at Barwon Prison on a nightly basis - no matter what happens, you can always re-live Clayton Oliver's Fist of God Goal from 3Q 2021 - an eternal victory...
Friends, I for one have not forgotten nor forgiven that disgusting little Merc and his blob of an old man. In Man on Fire, Denzel Washington asked "Do you think that God will forgive us for what we have done?" I dont know the answer to that question. Tonight is another reckoning where the ghost...
Brothers and sisters, for the most part of its existence, I thought that Fweo was trying to "out-StKilda St Kilda" - both of them, after all, share the ignominy of having Ross Lyon coach their defence-time lists. Now, of late, Fweo is becomng what they sould have been from their inception in...