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I can't remember what my wife texted me but it was something good, like "I'll leave the oven on for you" or something helpful. My intended thumbs up emoji was a middle finger in the end, an accident but in hindsight was pretty funny

Sometimes, I do pull out nose hairs though Do you think you are racist?

No but I've had a really good E before, that's as close as I'll get. Why do toasters go up to 7 when anything above 2.5 means the toast is burnt?

Are you GG.exe ?

What blog did you read this on?

Nope. I have 2 suits that were $300 each and 80 bucks for the extra pair of pants. Not sure how much my bed was, was no where near that though.

This is what I thought. And everyone can get a girlfriend if they lower their standards enough.