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A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally , it was agreed that they should meet at the ocean view restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they...

I was sent this today by a friend and thought it was worth sharing.

My mother-in-law, started taking flying lessons a many years ago and she got her license sometime later. The other day, as you may have seen on the news she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting. She was forced to make an emergency landing in Geelong because of bad weather and...

Goodbye Barry, Dame Edna, Les and Sandy. Shocking that they should all pass on the same day. I haven't felt this sad since Bob Denver, Gilligan and Maynard G. Krebs also all passed away on the same day. Thanks Barry, for many years of enjoyment and laughter. Goodbye to an incredible genius.

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Boat club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His...

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In Uni I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama...

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake... He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep...

Fred and Harry, two very elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch people walking their dogs and discuss current events and world problems. One day Harry didn't show up. Fred didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Harry...

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.” The priest asks, “Is that you, little Johnny?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or...

And Jo Brand is Mrs Crocodile.

The episode of "Would I lie To You" where he appears with his wife and tells everyone that when he is annoyed with his wife he secretly moves her bookmarks, is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. He is wonderfully funny!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the 85-year-old man came to the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as...

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. While she watched in mounting horror she recognised Sam Newman amongst the group. The ball hit Sam and he immediately clasped his hands together at his...

Sam Newman had a week off and decided to play golf every day. Monday morning, he found himself paired with an attractive woman, Annette, who turned out to be a very good golfer. They started with a few casual bets, but by the back nine it was a full-blown competition. On the 18th green, Annette...

This isn't a joke, but is one of the funniest stories you will read. Have a look. I guarantee you will have a chuckle. http://www.rotherhambugle.com/2016/11/07/tattoo-terror-lands-rotherham-pair-in-hospital/

Nadia Bartel rarely finds cocaine jokes funny. But occasionally, a one-liner makes her snort.

Covid warning!!!!!

Scott Morrison was visiting a Sydney primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr Morrison if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'. So our illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a...

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was...

You know you're getting old when your balls tell you it's time to mow the lawn.

I had a girlfriend who was a midget, I was nuts over her.

I went for a job interview last week. I got called back for a second interview on Friday. The interviewer told me I had performed so well in my first interview that I was one of just 3 people they had narrowed it down to, from the 302 who had applied for the job. He looked me in they eye and...