Game Day 1st Elimination Final: West Coast Vs Essendon

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BigFooty Optimist
Aug 19, 2016
Perth, WA
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
East Fremantle
1st Elimination Final:
West Coast Vs The Drug Cheats V2

Given the final is literally 2 days away, we need a goddamn preview already. Anyway, as I did the preview earlier this year for the the Bombers, I've decided to type up one quickly.

We are 0-5 with the drug cheats in finals. That record isn't very flattering, but the last final they won was 15 years ago, and we'll be extending that on Thursday. Woosha tried to tank the last match so they wouldn't have to leave Vic - unfortunately, they didn't count on us shitting the bed in our most important game of the season. Now they have to come over here and play in front of a crowd that has been resting their vocal cords for nearly two weeks. I'm expecting each one of you to be booing louder than I've ever heard in my life.

After ******* everything up against Hawthorn, I still refuse to believe we won't go B2B. Some things have to be done in life, and one of those is getting Shep, Gaff and Nic their premiership medals. We still have time on our side, but trying again in 12 months isn't very appealing to anyone. Let's just do it the hard way and make history.

What have Essencum's form been like leading up to this match? The same. Flaky, in a word. They saved their season 6-7 weeks ago with 3 stirring wins in a row, each never exceeding a margin of 2 goals. Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti, Cale Morton and whoever saved them in the Sydney game all gave them a spot in the finals. AMT was actually pretty awesome to watch, if I do say so myself. Afterwards, a solid win over Adelaide was spoiled by them barely getting over the line against a team that, for every side in the comp, is nothing more than a glorified training run. Jake "THE MAN" Stringer kicked a bullshit torp from the centre to win the game though, which is quite rare at the elite level in our day and age. They did play some attractive football for those five weeks, and the Gold Coast game was actually pretty exciting, with both teams nearly scoring 100 points each (something not too common in 2019).

After that, they were smashed by the most bipolar team in AFL history (Port) by 59 points, in a game that looked like it would be their worst performance for the entire year. Things were looking down over in peptide land, but that was nothing compared to what they dished up the following week:

It was a nightmare for the jabbers. Fans were booing their players as they came off the field, in a match that provided a massive statement from the Bulldogs (and thankfully they actually finished up in the eighth as they deserved to). Their percentage basically disintergrated as a result, and Woosha's head was being called for - somehow, however, they still stumbled into eigth place.

They had a comfortable win over Freo the next week, and then they decided to rest a whole bunch of players against Collingwood in a game they tanked, which effectively cost us top 4. This, in effect, shot both themselves and us in the foot - they have to travel now, and we don't have the double chance.

Overall, their last leg of the season has been pretty woeful, similar to us. However, unlike us, they aren't a team that has already proven they have the ability to go all the way. I'll keep saying it, but that flag is ours.

In our game against them earlier in the year, in which we had over 30 scoring shots in a match we really should have won by at least 60 points, Kennedy led the way in a domination of Hurley with 8 scoring shots, but only ended up with 3.5. A big part of that victory was Hutch tagging Saad, which proved decisive in the match; we should see the same thing again on Thursday, this time with Nelson getting the job (Hutch won't be available). McGovern was our billionth player to be suspended for a bullshit reason by Michael Christian - that proved to be the biggest thing to come out of the entire game.

A bad omen is the fact Essendon is getting back a plethora of stars into the side (Stringer, Hurley, Hooker and Fantasia). If you're the ep2018 type, then that looks scarily similar to what happened with the Bulldogs in 2016. However, unlike that team from 2 years ago, we have one big Flying Fijian shaped reason why that won't be the case:

Pictured: Nic Naitanui upon hearing he will be partnering with HickGod once again.

Nic Naitanui is back to murder opposition ruckman, and given there won't be a tomorrow if we lose, expect more bone crunching tackles we haven't seen since early 2018.

Additionally, this might prove to be our chance to rescue Woosha from the forces of evil (with him potentially being sacked, which is bad, but, with apologies to Woosha, we need to get Nic a premiership medal).

Based on their changes thread, I think the Essendon will go in like this:
B: Francis - Hooker - Saad
HB: Ambrose - Hurley - Redman
C: McGrath - Heppell - Merrett
HF: Laverde - Stringer - Fantasia
FF: McDonald-Tipungwuti - McKernan - Mitch Brown
R: Bellchambers - Shiel - Guelfi
Int: McKenna - Parish - Langford - Clarke

IN: Orazio Fantasia, Cale Hooker, Jake "THE PACKAGE" Stringer, Dyson Heppell
OUT: Tom Jok, Josh Begley, Michael Hartley, Brayden Ham

Similar to last time, except they'll be missing Zaharakis, who provides a senior head. Rather than simply beating them, let's build some confidence heading into this finals series by having a massive win.

Their midfield have been kicking more goals recently, with Merrett and Shiel leading the way. McKernan and Mitch Brown have proven quite effective up forward, while Woosha's secret weapon (swing Hunter Hooker forward) might be seen if Essendon struggle up front.

I think we'll go in like this, based off what we did with the WAFL:
B: Hurn - Barrass - Schofield
HB: Sheppard - McGovern - Jetta
C: Gaff - Yeo - Redden
HF: Cripps - Darling - Ah Chee
F: Rioli - Kennedy - Ryan
R: Naitanui - Sheed - Shuey
Int: Allen - HickGod - Masten - Nelson

IN: Ah Chee, Naitanui(!), Schofield

OUT: Duggan, Petrucelle, Waterman

That's a pretty strong lineup. All we're missing is Hutchings, and he could come in next week for Masten. The big one here, though, is Nic. Not much needs to be said of his impact, but I'm hoping he'll be throwing his weight around massively in the finals, similar to how he went before getting suspended in early 2018.

As said before, we need someone to tag Saad, and that job should fall to Nelson. He's already proven to be capable of playing in a run-with role, so he should be able to shut him out of the game.


West Coast by 30 Nic Naitanui tackles, with the weight differential correctly calculated.
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Ambrose Burnside

Premiership Player
Dec 8, 2006
AFL Club
West Coast
Look, I'm seriously concerned my booing will get me kicked out of the ground, so everyone around me better be just as loud so the security guards get confused about which nutter is the loudest.

I won't be satisfied unless the Game Day thread on the main board is 90% Victorians complaining about the boo.

Up the &#-$&# Coasters!!!

Fatty rules

Team Captain
Feb 16, 2008
AFL Club
West Coast
The one player that really worries me in your Essendon lineup is Browm. Never heard of him. What will he bring to the Essendon game plan? Has anyone been to check him out at training?


Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 27, 2005
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
We should win this, we are the better side, however if we allow them to use their speed of the half back line we are going to be in a world of pain. They have used it before and sliced us up. Our big forwards need to clunk their marks and keep guys like Saad and Mckenna out of the game and we will be fine.

Getting Nic back will be a huge help as well, as we should get first use out of the middle, makes life easier if the Bombers cannot crowd our key forwards.


Official Oranges Man
Aug 6, 2017
South Of Dreamsville
AFL Club
West Coast
Plethora...just saying.
I hope we are actually, really, genuinely, switched on and in the moment!
And not just going through the motions of being switched on as a champagne football team.
"Now guys gather round, this week we're all going to play like we're switched-on okay"
Am sure they will be, because if not it will be a humiliating exit.
Can we please see the 'finals footy mode' now????
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Club Legend
Dec 19, 2007
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
soccer rugby union and le
The worry is coming into a pressure final with Hurn,Yo,Hutch and NN all under a minor cloud.Its going to be 3% and that doesnt help tight muscles.The plus is that they are probably in as bad or worse a position.Hurley had his shoulder bent sideways last week and it looked awful.a needle or two will help but the way JK and Jd hit packs hes in for a bad night.We need an easy win to give us plenty of recovery time.


Club Legend
Sep 22, 2016
AFL Club
West Coast
The worry is coming into a pressure final with Hurn,Yo,Hutch and NN all under a minor cloud.Its going to be 3% and that doesnt help tight muscles.The plus is that they are probably in as bad or worse a position.Hurley had his shoulder bent sideways last week and it looked awful.a needle or two will help but the way JK and Jd hit packs hes in for a bad night.We need an easy win to give us plenty of recovery time.
Yeo? Whats wrong with him?


Brownlow Medallist
Oct 29, 2007
Perth Western Australia
AFL Club
West Coast
Rather we gave Hutch extra week as we NEED him to tag Sidebottom or Kelly the week after.

I do get we need to tag Saad but i think one of our forwards ( Cameron if he plays or Cripps) could put a solid tag on one of their attacking HBF's.

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