Roast 2014 Comical commentary thread

[Agent Smith]

Brian Taylor: 'I think Selwood was taken a little high there.'

Umpire (calls out): 'Trip!'

 

[Bikefreak]

In today's climate, Taswegian's could probably sue the commentator for a comment like that, Couldn't they?

No, it would be more fun to confront them in public and ask them to expand on their comments a little bit. With a camera nearby of course.

 

[Xtreme]

Seems hanging out with Luke Darcy has rubbed off Cameron Ling

He just said he likes the way Liberatore goes about it.

 

[Davo-27]

And please [smack], please tell me [smack] that they aren't grooming Luke [lip smack] Darcy to be the next generation of [smack] play-by-play commentators [smack].

I sure picked the wrong game to debut my new higher fidelity headphones.

its so true, all i heard was lip-smacking as well, was he eating an ice-cream whilst casting or something?.......

 

[Max Powers]

Seems hanging out with Luke Darcy has rubbed off Cameron Ling

He just said he likes the way Liberatore goes about it.

Loved how when asked about Geelong free kicks last night Lingy replies "there were a lot paid but they all were there". Take your hand off it Lingy, kissing arse much!

 

[Threadkilla]

Loved how when asked about Geelong free kicks last night Lingy replies "there were a lot paid but they all were there". Take your hand off it Lingy, kissing arse much!

Even the one where Johnson tackled the freo bloke high, then threw his own head back and dropped like a sack of crap in a diving attempt that made Lindsey Thomas look like Glenn Archer? Even that one, Lingy?

 

[philohk]

I learnt from Derwayne last night that the Swans are the best team in the comp. Weren't they beaten by the reigning premier recently? The side that's on top of the ladder despite still having key players out?

 

[Davo23]

I learnt from Derwayne last night that the Swans are the best team in the comp. Weren't they beaten by the reigning premier recently? The side that's on top of the ladder despite still having key players out?

Derwayne also regularly tells us that the $wans have the best forward line in the AFL.

Derwayne dwibbles derstupidity.


.

 

[Holy Rioli]

Derwayne also regularly tells us that the $wans have the best forward line in the AFL.

Derwayne dwibbles derstupidity.


.

I can see where he's coming from, I mean their forward line has only kicked 62 goals less than ours so far this seasaon (ironic really that was the # of goals that we had to find after Franklin left to make up the difference).

 

[JustKickIt]

I can see where he's coming from, I mean their forward line has only kicked 62 goals less than ours so far this seasaon (ironic really that was the # of goals that we had to find after Franklin left to make up the difference).

When listing this unbeatable forward line why do they always include "Reid"? That's what I don't get....

 

[Mitchell Madness]

When listing this unbeatable forward line why do they always include "Reid"? That's what I don't get....

He is so vow-u-bull to the swan struck-char (say in the voice of several commentators)

 

[Holy Rioli]

When listing this unbeatable forward line why do they always include "Reid"? That's what I don't get....

I guess if he's getting paid as if he was a star performer, a lot of commentators just assume that he is?

 

[Wandering Hawk]

Guys, you need to lighten up on the poor commentators. Ablett is out for the year. What's left to talk about? That man is practically the whole of football for them.

 

[seysearles]

In today's climate, Taswegian's could probably sue the commentator for a comment like that, Couldn't they?

Bruce is the master of sexual (usually gay) double entendres. When he finally retires I expect a 3 volume catalogue of his 'McAvisms' called "Brusted - The story of a GAYFL legend".

 

[Thaihawk]

I learnt from Derwayne last night that the Swans are the best team in the comp. Weren't they beaten by the reigning premier recently? The side that's on top of the ladder despite still having key players out?

To his credit Derwayny hasn't referred to Sydney's unbeaten run since we knocked them off, but he still calls them the best and/or hottest side in the comp., as well as premiership favourites, and talks about their record og 13 wins out of 14 games, but I have never heard him give us any credit. It makes me wonder, can he pronounce Hawthorn?

Bruce is the master of sexual (usually gay) double entendres. When he finally retires I expect a 3 volume catalogue of his 'McAvisms' called "Brusted - The story of a GAYFL legend".

Well, that's something I have never noticed,seysearles. Iusually don't take much notice of what Bruce says, except to count his tag questions, but I must listen more closely, now.

 

[Suntory Boss Coffee]

Dwayne Russell needs to die

 

[HawkMongrel]

What's he said? Am overseas ATM. (N)

 

[Davo23]

Dwayne Russell needs to die

I'm up for it.
Anyone know any hit men?

It would be better to take out Dwayne and Healey together.

 

[smeltitdeltit]

I learnt from Derwayne last night that the Swans are the best team in the comp. Weren't they beaten by the reigning premier recently? The side that's on top of the ladder despite still having key players out?

He called us the best in the comp tonight.
also referenced us as the reigning premiers in the same sentence.
The fact it was in a game we were getting our ass handed to use, against the media "pressure! f^%ck me dead the presssure!" love child(s), is a coincidence, im sure

 

[BigMick1]

Derwayne announced the umpires have developed a set against Fyfe after he sniped Lewis!! I'm up to put in for a hit on him

 

[BobHawk]

Commentary was terrible tonight. Lynch included. My guess is these blokes bet big bucks on the games.

 

[kazzooka]

Cats vs Blues game, Triple M - Garry Lyon.
Waite kicks a goal and carlton are 7 points up (about 5 mins left) - "Carlton will win this, I know its a big call but I'm certain they've got this game"

Final Siren Geelong won (albeit through the acts of match fixing by a corrupt umpire) - "Who was the dickhead that said they'd lose this?"

Today's horrendous performance, Fox Footy - Derrrrwaynnnne and Healy.
der - ray - YA - it's pronounced du -ray rhymes with doctor dre idiots.

Also how did we manage to recruit Dylan Sheil from GWS with 3 rounds to go in the year, and why does he suddenly look like Liam Sheils?

 

[Threadkilla]

Did I overhear Bruce today ask that hack ex-Essendon boundary rider (who's name escapes me... well... because he was a hack) if player x (could've been Patton) had "injured the same right leg as last time?"?

The funniest part, though, was ex-footballing-Hack-and-current-commentating-Hack pausing as he seriously considered the question...!!

 

[Gunstall555]

So Robbo has made the following comment in his latest column

Chris Mayne was Luke Breust before Luke Breust was the new Chris Mayne.

But in 2014, Mayne couldn’t get a kick out of a vodka Red Bull. Seriously, is there a player who has dropped away as much as the Fremantle forward?

In 2012, he kicked 39-7. In 2013, it was 37-12. This year, it is 10.9.

Yes, his ferocity and tackling is first rate, and despite having Michael Walters and Hayden Ballantyne to play with, he needs to hit the scoreboard in September. Two goals a game and he could be the difference.

In no year since Luke Breust have been an active AFL player has Chris Mayne scored more goals in the same season so I see this as an insult to Luke Breust.

 

[Davo23]

So Robbo has made the following comment in his latest column

Chris Mayne was Luke Breust before Luke Breust was the new Chris Mayne.

But in 2014, Mayne couldn’t get a kick out of a vodka Red Bull. Seriously, is there a player who has dropped away as much as the Fremantle forward?

In 2012, he kicked 39-7. In 2013, it was 37-12. This year, it is 10.9.

Yes, his ferocity and tackling is first rate, and despite having Michael Walters and Hayden Ballantyne to play with, he needs to hit the scoreboard in September. Two goals a game and he could be the difference.

In no year since Luke Breust have been an active AFL player has Chris Mayne scored more goals in the same season so I see this as an insult to Luke Breust.

Your mistake was to read/watch/listen to/take notice of Robbo.

Or even know who Robbo is.