Roast 2014 Comical commentary thread

[crazywildhorse]

I am looking forward to see on saturday how many times they discuss the recruitment of Hale and McEvoy, in particular how important Hale has been. Then there is the how many goals the number 19 has kicked at Hawthorn, and how good a set shot Gunston is. I also think there is going to be an off chance they may mention how the Buddy-less forward is working out.

 

[Symons]

I would quite like to hear about how our team is full of left footers. I don't think it gets mentioned much.

 

[Bumpswithagrin]

I am looking forward to see on saturday how many times they discuss the recruitment of Hale and McEvoy, in particular how important Hale has been. Then there is the how many goals the number 19 has kicked at Hawthorn, and how good a set shot Gunston is. I also think there is going to be an off chance they may mention how the Buddy-less forward is working out.

Don't forget our great spread of goal kickers, nobody knows about that yet.

 

[crazywildhorse]

I would quite like to hear about how our team is full of left footers. I don't think it gets mentioned much.

Beautiful left feet apparently

 

[TNTre]

Beautiful left feet apparently

We should probably stick clear of Balinese masseurs called Katut.

 

[Pessimistic]

D'lish









Ous

 

[crazywildhorse]

We should probably stick clear of Balinese masseurs called Katut.

But Buddy on the other hand...

 

[PenAndPaper]

The amount of times commentators gushed over Gilbee and acted like he was a star of the comp was ridiculous. He could kick (brilliant) but did little else, couldn't tackle and had was very poor defensively.

Some may say I'm describing Suckling. Suckers is the better kick and is quicker. Plus noone talks about him being one of the stars of the comp.

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk

Gilbee is a better kick and better defensively than Suckling, let's not get our Hawks bias in the way. Suckling does have the speed over Gilbee though

 

[Davo23]

Gilbee is a better kick and better defensively than Suckling, let's not get our Hawks bias in the way. Suckling does have the speed over Gilbee though

Gilbee is still playing?
Or are you saying that Gilbee at age 41 years is STILL better than Suckling?

As for Matt Suckling, when your team is doing well, you need an escape goat!

 

[Jiggystoon]

5.57 onwards

This has to be up there as the worst bit of commentary, it's so cringe worthy. How did he get a job in the media?

Lol Walsh: Blurt blurt he has blurt swapped blurt a forward blurt for a blurt foward he can blurt play the blurt game

 

[Hawkas1988]

Gilbee is a better kick and better defensively than Suckling, let's not get our Hawks bias in the way. Suckling does have the speed over Gilbee though

I never said Suckling was better defensively, he is poor and so was Gilbee, teams would play through Gilbee's man often as he was very unaccountable and no good 1 on 1. It annoyed me that Guerra was just as good a kick but he actually played on an opponent and knew how to defend but never got the recognition.

This comment was to say how overrated Gilbee was. Suckling is overrated a tad by outsiders but he isn't talked up like a star of the comp.

 

[MrFujiMoto]

OMFG Bruce -
"Cyril.... He's teasing us all......Aaawwwwww.......Awww.... He prolonged....... He prolonged it.......The ecstasy.... Four"
"I reckon if your the waiter and your at a restaurant you're nervous, he's gonna whip the plate off before you get it on the table"

Lingy and whoever else was there just laughed at him with the last one.

I think Bruce has seriously lost his mind. Got too caught up in the comical hype about him and lost all grasp on what he is actually meant to do. Commetti is no better either, and together they are near on unbearable.

 

[Rushed_Behind]

Beautiful left feet apparently

 

[philohk]

How about Bruce's 'You'd pay to clean his boots' on Cyril? I reckon the bloke haunts craigslist ...

 

[hawker92]

How about Bruce's 'You'd pay to clean his boots' on Cyril? I reckon the bloke haunts craigslist ...

Did he actually say that? Jeepers

 

[kimbopen]

Lol Walsh: Blurt blurt he has blurt swapped blurt a forward blurt for a blurt foward he can blurt play the blurt game

Not bad eye candy, though ... ;-p

 

[Bumpswithagrin]

Not bad eye candy, though ... ;-p

Who Walsh? ... or one of our lovely Hawks boys

 

[PenAndPaper]

Gilbee is still playing?
Or are you saying that Gilbee at age 41 years is STILL better than Suckling?

As for Matt Suckling, when your team is doing well, you need an escape goat!

Is, was, whatever. While we are being pedantic don't you mean scapegoat, not escape goat?

Every team has a weak link, he is ours, especially when his kicking is so severely overrated.

 

[kimbopen]

Who Walsh? ... or one of our lovely Hawks boys

Welsh AND our lovely Hawk boys.
Andrew is a nice bloke, have met him a few times. Shame he seems to have little brains when it comes to commentary though ...

 

[Big A]

OMFG Bruce -
"Cyril.... He's teasing us all......Aaawwwwww.......Awww.... He prolonged....... He prolonged it.......The ecstasy.... Four"
"I reckon if your the waiter and your at a restaurant you're nervous, he's gonna whip the plate off before you get it on the table"

Lingy and whoever else was there just laughed at him with the last one.

I think Bruce has seriously lost his mind. Got too caught up in the comical hype about him and lost all grasp on what he is actually meant to do. Commetti is no better either, and together they are near on unbearable.

Lol

 

[badgrill]

Is, was, whatever. While we are being pedantic don't you mean scapegoat, not escape goat?

Every team has a weak link, he is ours, especially when his kicking is so severely overrated.

 

[Threadkilla]

Welsh AND our lovely Hawk boys.
Andrew is a nice bloke, have met him a few times. Shame he seems to have little brains when it comes to commentary though ...

No offence intended, and I'm not in a position to comment on the attractiveness of other males, but saying anything positive about Andrew Walsh on our board is blasphemous I reckon.

Are we forgetting which team he played for and when? Also, I kind of understand the media's love affair with ex-players-cum-commentators - but you'd think they'd go for an above-average one (player that is, although commentator also applies)...

 

[Arc1]

Not sure if this got a mention, but another oddity I picked up on Bruce was during Q1 of the Handbags game, twice in a row they put on-screen the goalkicking accuracy of players, and he declared something different.

IIRC, the first one was Gunston having a shot - the TV flashed up his stats (ie. X goals Y behinds), and Bruce proudly announced something different. Wouldn't have thought anything of it, except that a couple of minutes later a Cats player was taking a shot, and exactly the same thing happened - stats flashed up, Bruce jizzed off about a different X.Y. Not sure why that would happen - I'd always assumed they were reading off the exact same source.

 

[Thaihawk]

Who else can remember when Denis was the funny man and Bruce the straight one.

What used to make me laugh was the Aussie "oops!"

 

[Bosk]

How about Bruce's 'You'd pay to clean his boots' on Cyril? I reckon the bloke haunts craigslist ...

I posted this on the Bay ages ago, seems appropriate to repost it here given how often Bruce's been mentioned.