Preview 2014 Predictions

[VelvetSledge]

Yep, it's that time of the year again.

Ladies and gentlemen, post up your predictions, no matter how outlandish they may be.

Previous prediction threads have provided an enormous amount of humor, so let's try and keep that going. Post em!

Premier: Essendon
Runner Up: Fremantle
Wooden Spoon: St Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Gary Ablett Jr
Coleman Medal: Jeremy Cameron (GWS)
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood
The Bolter: Essendon, Norf
Scandal of the Season: The 11 clubs that used supplements are all under investigation by ASADA (haha)
Mitch Clark Plays: 3 rounds
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: Five times
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: Seven
First Coach Sacked: Nathan Buckley
Grand Final Entertainment: Will be crap
Will Hep get a haircut? He better not
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Absolutely not
Crichton Medal: Brent Stanton
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Joe Daniher (73)
Essendon Most Improved: Joe Daniher

GUESS THE NEW RECRUITS NUMBERS:
Paul Chapman: 3
Johnny Rayner: 45
Zach Merrett: 19
Orazio Fantasia: 29
Fraser Thurlow: 27
Patrick Ambrose: 12

 

[Old Campaigner]

Yep, it's that time of the year again.


Premier: Freo
Runner Up: Geelong
Wooden Spoon: Brisbane
Brownlow Medal: Pendlebury
Coleman Medal: Jeremy Cameron (GWS)
The Team That Drops Off: Sydney
The Bolter: Norf
Scandal of the Season: Buddy is filmed going balls deep in a dog at a NRL mad monday
Mitch Clark Plays: darts with the blokes at the rehab clinic
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: twice and retires after doctors warn him he has just one brain cell remaining
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: however many play for Collingwood
First Coach Sacked: Malthouse
Grand Final Entertainment: Film of Buddy as mentioned above
Will Hep get a haircut? mohawk and muttonchops
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? unlikely
Crichton Medal: Nick Kommer
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Hurley
Essendon Most Improved: Z. Merrett

 

[Whispering_Jack]

Premier: Fremantle
Runner Up: Essendon
Wooden Spoon: GWS (would have been St Kilda when Watters was in charge, I rate Richardson too highly)
Brownlow Medal: Gary Ablett Jr
Coleman Medal: Jeremy Cameron (GWS)
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood
The Bolter: Essendon, Norf
Scandal of the Season: Hopefully none but apparently playing a prank on someone by leaving a restaurant without paying is a scandal so I now expect weekly or even daily scandals...
Mitch Clark Plays: 18 rounds
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: He doesn't but retires mid season
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: Eleventy
First Coach Sacked: If Norf don't bolt as predicted it has to be Brad Scott...
Grand Final Entertainment: Will be good again in 2014
Will Hep get a haircut? For Charity?
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Doubtful
Crichton Medal: Jakey Melksham
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Joe Daniher (47)
Essendon Most Improved: Joe Daniher/Colyer

 

[Doss]

ChilbroSwaggins, that Buddy scandal is genuinely disturbing.

 

[VelvetSledge]

ChilbroSwaggins, that Buddy scandal is genuinely disturbing.

And yet I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever.

 

[raskolnikov]

Premier: Essendon
Runner Up: Richmond
Wooden Spoon: St.Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Patrick Dangerfield
Coleman Medal: Jack Riewoldt
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood, Geelong
The Bolter: Western Bulldogs
Scandal of the Season:
Mitch Clark Plays: 18 rounds
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: twice
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: All of them. The AFL make it a mandatory requirement
First Coach Sacked: Nathan Buckley
Grand Final Entertainment: some 80s band/musician that were crap even back then
Will Hep get a haircut? yes
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Absolutely not
Crichton Medal: Dyson Heppell
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Jackson Merrett
Essendon Most Improved: Elliott Kavanagh

 

[Old Campaigner]

And yet I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever.

That NRL bloke already got to third base, it's only natural Buddy will want to show the superiority of the AFL code...

 

[Loonerty]

Premier: Sydney
Runner Up: Fremantle
Wooden Spoon: St Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Nat Fyfe
Coleman Medal: Buddy
The Team That Drops Off: Geelong
The Bolter: North, Gold Coast
Scandal of the Season: WADA places everything but water on the banned supplements list.
Mitch Clark Plays: 15 games
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: Once, gets concussed and retires
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: One is too many
First Coach Sacked: Nathan Buckley
Grand Final Entertainment: Meatloaf and Angry Anderson duet
Will Hep get a haircut? Never again
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Might be okay at best
Crichton Medal: Dyson Heppell
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Paul Chapman (38)
Essendon Most Improved: Michael Hurley (if played in defence)

 

[Dolner]

Premier: Sydney
Runner Up: Fremantle
Wooden Spoon: St Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Nat fyfe
Coleman Medal: Tayla Walka (ADE)
The Team That Drops Off: Richmond
The Bolter: North Melbourne
Scandal of the Season: Extent of recreational drug use in the AFL document leaked, ensuing Herald Sun hysteria/hypocrisy etc.
Mitch Clark Plays: why do we care so much about Mitch Clark all of a sudden?
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: arguing with a vending machine
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: not just players but Bucks does in order to try and fit in and not cause an Exodus. Exodus ensues anyway
First Coach Sacked: Damian Hardwick
Grand Final Entertainment: Will be cut, money given to charity.
Will Hep get a haircut? as above
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? I honestly dont know what that is
Crichton Medal: 22 JC
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Winderlich (39)
Essendon Most Improved: Browne

GUESS THE NEW RECRUITS NUMBERS:
Paul Chapman: 29
Johnny Rayner: 45
Zach Merrett: 3
Orazio Fantasia: 19
Fraser Thurlow: 27
Patrick Ambrose: 12

 

[Pweter]

Premier: Fremantle
Runner Up: Essendon
Wooden Spoon: St Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Scott Pendlebury
Coleman Medal: Jack Riewoldt
The Team That Drops Off: Geelong
The Bolter: Gold Coast
Scandal of the Season: Essendon do not receive any infraction notices
Mitch Clark Plays: with himself. Frequently.
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: by Chelsea the goal umpire when running back with the flight. Chelsea accepts endorsements from MMA
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: Are there any new players with Dane (Dayne) or Swan or Beams in their name?
First Coach Sacked: Scott Watt...oh... um... Paul Roos
Grand Final Entertainment: will be shit
Will Hep get a haircut? No, because like Sampson he knows the source of his ability is his hair
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? er....
Crichton Medal: Michael Hibberd
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: JD (43 goals from 18 games)
Essendon Most Improved: Hams

 

[Pweter]

Grand Final Entertainment: Meatloaf and Angry Anderson duet

I actually think that would be entertaining.

 

[daffo]

Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Hell no. I made the mistake of buying two.. I will not make that mistake again.

 

[Old Campaigner]

Someone will make a VPN that lets you use it for free anyway.

 

[rines]

Premier: Essendon
Runner Up: Hawthorn
Wooden Spoon: GWS
Brownlow Medal: Dyson Heppell
Coleman Medal: Joe Daniher
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood/Geelong
The Bolter: Gold Coast
Scandal of the Season: Buddy gets his third strike and gets suspended for 2 years
Mitch Clark Plays: 5 rounds
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: Once and then retires
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: Forty Three
First Coach Sacked: Malthouse
Grand Final Entertainment: Winner of some crappy reality singing comp with dancing kangaroos
Will Hep get a haircut? Nup
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Sheesshh don't think this even warrants an answer...
Crichton Medal: Dyson Heppell
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Joe Daniher (102)
Essendon Most Improved: Joe Daniher

GUESS THE NEW RECRUITS NUMBERS:
Paul Chapman: 3
Zach Merrett: 12

 

[Nasty Penguin]

Premier: Essendon
Runner Up: Fremantle
Wooden Spoon: GWS
Brownlow Medal: Nat Fyfe
Coleman Medal: Jeremy Cameron
The Team That Drops Off: Geelong
The Bolter: Port Adelaide
Scandal of the Season: Demetriou tests positive to performance enhancing drugs
Mitch Clark Plays: Who?
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: At least twice
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: 0. A new trend will emerge. Tattoo on face.
First Coach Sacked: Brad Scott
Grand Final Entertainment: Just silence.
Will Hep get a haircut? NEVER
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Um.....
Crichton Medal: Dyson Heppell
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Jakey Carlisle (62)
Essendon Most Improved: Dave Myers

GUESS THE NEW RECRUITS NUMBERS:
Paul Chapman: 12
Johnny Rayner: 45
Zach Merrett: 3
Orazio Fantasia: 27
Shaun Edwards: 13
Kurt Aylett: 29
Fraser Thurlow: 46
Patrick Ambrose: 42

 

[Old Campaigner]

Scandal of the Season: Demetriou tests positive to performance enhancing drugs

Deepfrier oil got put on the banned substances list??

 

[eth-dog]

Premier: Sydney
Runner Up: Fremantle
Wooden Spoon: St. Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Watson/Ablett tie
Coleman Medal: Kurt Tippett
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood
The Bolter: Essendon
Scandal of the Season: Dane Swan retires mid season
Mitch Clark Plays: 15 rounds
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: 12 times
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: 33
First Coach Sacked: Brad Scott
Grand Final Entertainment: P!nk
Will Hep get a haircut? Hope so, but no
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? See above
Crichton Medal: Jobe Watson
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Joe Daniher (35)
Essendon Most Improved: Joe Daniher

GUESS THE NEW RECRUITS NUMBERS:
Chapman: 3
Merrett: 12
Edwards: 19
Aylett: 27
Fantasia: 29
Ambrose: 42
Thurlow: 44
Rayner: 45

 

[fishardansin]

Premier: Sydney
Runner Up: St Kilda Freo (Lyon to retire as a myth with 4 runners up and no premierships 3 years later)
Wooden Spoon: Carlton
Brownlow Medal: Jobe Watson
Coleman Medal: Kurt Tippet
The Team That Drops Off: Hawthorn
The Bolter: St Kilda
Scandal of the Season: Video surfaces of Caro pegging Demetriou.
Mitch Clark Plays: For Melbourne
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: You don't get knocked play loose across half back.
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: 14
First Coach Sacked: Brad Scott
Grand Final Entertainment: Melbourne Symphony Orchestra.
Will Hep get a haircut? Yes.
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? The phone app will.
Crichton Medal: Jobe Watson
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Paddy Ryder 49
Essendon Most Improved: Tayte Pears

GUESS THE NEW RECRUITS NUMBERS:

Chapman: 3
Merrett: 12
Edwards: 19
Aylett: 27
Fantasia: 29
Ambrose: 42
Thurlow: 44
Rayner: 45

Because Jake Long will be playing with 13 on his back.

 

[Burzum]

Premier: Sydney
Runner Up: Fremantle
Wooden Spoon: St. Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Gary Ablett Jr
Coleman Medal: Jeremy Cameron
The Team That Drops Off: Geelong
The Bolter: Essendon
Scandal of the Season: Player gets caught saying the f-word
Mitch Clark Plays: Never
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: bout tree fiddy
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: bout tree fiddy
First Coach Sacked: One of Guy McKenna, Damien Hardwick, Brad Scott, Brendan McCartney
Grand Final Entertainment: Won't watch as per usual
Will Hep get a haircut? No
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? No
Crichton Medal: Jobe Watson
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Joe Daniher
Essendon Most Improved: Joe Daniher

 

[Big Fresh]

Premier: Fremantle
Runner Up: Sydney
Wooden Spoon: St Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Patrick Dangerfield
Coleman Medal: Jeremy Cameron
The Team That Drops Off: Geelong
The Bolter: Adelaide
Scandal of the Season: still ASADA and Essendon probably
Mitch Clark Plays: 16 rounds
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: once
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: two
First Coach Sacked: Brad Scott
Grand Final Entertainment: rubbish
Will Hep get a haircut? maybe a trim, but he'll keep the dreadful mop
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? won't come out 2014. And when/if it does, it'll be eh
Crichton Medal: Jobe Watson
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Joe Daniher (39)
Essendon Most Improved: Michael Hurley

 

[DONatron]

Premier: Fremantle
Runner Up: Hawthorn
Wooden Spoon: St. Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Patrick Dangerfield
Coleman Medal: Jack Riewoldt
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood
The Bolter: Gold Coast
Scandal of the Season: Dane Swan and Bernie Vince enjoy a night on the town then get into stoush with Jake King seeing Dane Swan sacked.
Mitch Clark Plays: Football
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: He won't
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: Tramp Stamps become the fashion
First Coach Sacked: Nathan Buckley
Grand Final Entertainment: Justin Beiber who shows 3 hours late delaying the grand final
Will Hep get a haircut? Can't lose the shag
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? HAHAHAHAHAHA PLEASE IS THIS A JOKE
Crichton Medal: Brendon Goddard
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Tom Bellchambers 44.15
Essendon Most Improved: Elliot Kavanagh

 

[ghostdog]

Premier: Fremantle
Runner Up: Hawthorn
Wooden Spoon: St Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Nat Fyfe
Coleman Medal: Lance Franklin
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood
The Bolter: Essendon, Western Bulldogs
Scandal of the Season: Fevola is arrested and charged with fraud.
Mitch Clark Plays: Strongly in a fine return season.
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: Once but it's the last straw and spurs his retirement at season's end.
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: Depends how many actually believe it will make them play like Dane Swan or bring them closer to Dane Swan.
First Coach Sacked: Brad Scott
Grand Final Entertainment: Australian Crawl
Will Hep get a haircut? Hopefully
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? Am I old? WTF is this?
Crichton Medal: Dyson Heppell
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Joe Daniher (31)
Essendon Most Improved: Dyson Heppell/Joe Daniher

GUESS THE NEW RECRUITS NUMBERS:
NO.


Also, if anyone knows how to bump threads (because I don't) it would be interesting reading the 2013 predictions thread. I can't recall what mine were, or anyone else's...

 

[revival_mode]

Premier: Fremantle
Runner Up: Sydney
Wooden Spoon: St Kilda
Brownlow Medal: Dangerfield
Coleman Medal: J Riewoldt
The Team That Drops Off: Collingwood
The Bolter: Essendon, Gold Coast
Scandal of the Season: buddy filmed snorting coke in the morning in a cafe toilet
Mitch Clark Plays: 15 games
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: he doesnt
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: 6
First Coach Sacked: Sanderson
Grand Final Entertainment: John Farnham
Will Hep get a haircut? better not
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? no.
Crichton Medal: Dyson Heppell
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Hurley (if he plays forward)
Essendon Most Improved: J Merrett

 

[Bombers36]

Premier: Tigers
Runner Up: Freo
Wooden Spoon: GWS
Brownlow Medal: Cotchin
Coleman Medal: J Riewoldt
The Team That Drops Off: Geelong
The Bolter: Richmond, North
Scandal of the Season: Buckley sacks Swan
Mitch Clark Plays: 10 games
Jonathan Brown gets knocked out: once
How many players get sleeve tattoos over the off-season: 4
First Coach Sacked: chris scott
Grand Final Entertainment: iva davies
Will Hep get a haircut? dont care
Will AFL LIVE 3 be any good? dont know
Crichton Medal: Dempsey
Essendon Leading Goalkicker: Daniher
Essendon Most Improved: J Merrett

 

[VelvetSledge]

Premier: Tigers