Analysis 2015 Apocalypse

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Biffinator

Biffinator

Norm Smith Medallist
Veteran Bay 13: Vintage Bay Ex-Moderator Melbourne Demons - Ricky Petterd 2011 Player Sponsor Melbourne Demons - Jeremy Howe 2012 Player Sponsor Melbourne Demons - Ricky Petterd 2012 Player Sponsor
Dec 8, 2007
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The Exers
Comrades, I am feeling very bullish about 2015. Hope springs anew. Nevertheless, the Devil has had us by the maraccas since 1965. Anything could go wrong. What would be the worse headlines in your mind?

Here are some of mine:

"Isaac Weeta and Jace Bode heed the call of the injury depleted MFC and return to the Dees."

"Cameron Schwab returns to the fold as GM with a new white-board."

"Barry Prendergast reappointed as Head Recruiter 'I have unfinished business.'"

"Colin Sylvia to be traded back to the Dees."

"Mark Neeld reappointed as Captain-Coach."

Yours?
 
"Bruce McAvaney and Dwayne Russell form commentary super team and vow to preside over all Melbourne games until next Premiership in bid to boost flagging club's popularity."

SQUEEZY LITTLE CHAOS BALL!!
 

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'Daniel Nicholson appointed new kicking coach'
 
Anything to do with Hogan being injured again. That would be the absolute WORST!
 
Roos Flees, Dees Loos
 
'Super Coasters go ballistic Demons are atrocious.' - Sing it.

No spoon full of sugar will help.
 
Leading teams finds Dean Terlich the best choice for Dees captain in 2015. Roos vetoes the decision in spectacular fashion by sacking Terlich for the second time in his career. A mutiny ensues with Max Gawn ultimately taking over the club in a bloodless coup. In celebration, he skulls three long necks of draught and proceeds to spew up on over 75% of the entire list in one go. Dean Kent describes the event as "prolly like the biggest munt iv seen ay". Meanwhile, Gold coast win rd 1 by default due to big maxy taking his team down to 13th beach for a hit of golf and some laughs with the lads.
 
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And here's part 2 cos I'm bored :)

After a disastrous start to rd 1, captain/coach/president/partybus driver/welfare manager max gawn decides to take his troops down to Sorrento for a team bonding weekend of froffees and friendship. The boys settle in down at the conti and after a few ice breaking scotches, dunny commences a team building excercise by asking some pretty confronting but carefully worded questions to his teammates. "Oi crossy ya old $%#&, why are you such a %&#%?". crossy sees red as aidan riley steps into his line of sight, but dawesy is quick to intervene. "Guysh pleashe, we should shettle thish like we did at the piesh" he breaks a nearby pool cue in half and throws it to the floor. "fight you shcoundrelssh, fight!"
Jack Viney kills three of his team mates with the cue before slotting the white ball in the corner pocket. Nobody is brave enough to tell him the white ball is jonesy's head. And the corner pocket is jayden hunts eye socket.

Meanwhile gawny checks his sportsbet app to find that GWS have also beaten Melbourne by default after the second no-show to start the season. "Jeezus, this one will need some serious team bonding excersises. Dunny! Line up the patron shots!"
 
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"North Korean Spies Hack Bigfooty, Disable MFC Board Permanently - Bigfooty Admin 'Not Too Concerned'"
 
How the hell did we survive the Apocalypse that was round one 2013. Within 10 minutes our entire season was over!
 
stabler said:
And here's part 2 cos I'm bored :)

After a disastrous start to rd 1, captain/coach/president/partybus driver/welfare manager max gawn decides to take his troops down to Sorrento for a team bonding weekend of froffees and friendship. The boys settle in down at the conti and after a few ice breaking scotches, dunny commences a team building excercise by asking some pretty confronting but carefully worded questions to his teammates. "Oi crossy ya old $%#&, why are you such a %&#%?". crossy sees red as aidan riley steps into his line of sight, but dawesy is quick to intervene. "Guysh pleashe, we should shettle thish like we did at the piesh" he breaks a nearby pool cue in half and throws it to the floor. "fight you shcoundrelssh, fight!"
Jack Viney kills three of his team mates with the cue before slotting the white ball in the corner pocket. Nobody is brave enough to tell him the white ball is jonesy's head. And the corner pocket is jayden hunts eye socket.

Meanwhile gawny checks his sportsbet app to find that GWS have also beaten Melbourne by default after the second no-show to start the season. "Jeezus, this one will need some serious team bonding excersises. Dunny! Line up the patron shots!"
Click to expand...
lol @ Dawes suddenly transforming into Sean Connery
 
Jack Trengove dislocates shoulder after a misguided arm wrestling contest with a monkey.
 
nickgrant69 said:
Melbourne found guilty of tanking against GWS in 2014 and are forced to offload all current players taken in the first round of the draft in the last 3 years to Essendon
Click to expand...

I'm a big man but this would be enough to make me cry and then shut myself in my house for the next decade writing solemn poems and growing a mighty, mighty beard.
 
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