Lol
What? I'm
serious!
I've heard rumours of a new Australian government department. It will be named the Federal Authority for Re-education and Cultural Knowledge (F.A.R.C.K).
Not only heard rumours, but was sent a partial copy of their draft Statement of Intent a few weeks ago. Here's a trascript (I must reiterate here that this is only a draft, and by no means the offical statement.)
1. Conversations will be monitored by satellite for indications of dissenting/subversive/non-socially acceptable opinion, with certain keywords sent immediately to central processing for further analysis.
Any evidence of thought patterns not completely complying with those of FARCK will be assumed to be subversive or dissenting.
2. Individuals found guilty upon examination of dissension or subversion shall be sent to political education facilities run by FARCK, and will only be released upon demonstration of clear evidence of mental cleansing.
3. FARCK is under no obligation to discern
intent. If a person has been deemed by the mainstream public after trail by media to have committed an offence, or has been brought to the attention of FARCK by family members, friends, or other members of the general public and/or media , that person shall be publicly vilified and ridiculed as a first course of action, and then committed to a facility for further re-education. Interpretation of comments made by the accused individual shall be solely the province of FARCK, however FARCK is permitted to be guided by the media and public opinion in this regard.
*Edit - forgot to mention, here was a handwritten addendum on the bottom of the copy I got. it read
4. Any reference to the acronym FARCK comparing it to a certain common swearword, or quacking like a duck while repeating the acronym FARCK several times, will be deemed to be insulting to FARCK.
Any individuals or groups commenting on FARCK in such a manner (or in any other manner deemed to be insulting) shall be immediately referred to a re-education centre without recourse to trial by media.