Remove this Banner Ad

1463523549854


Man, tough tough tough is how one describes this division. There was a seismic shake when Chris Paul up and left for the humidity of Houston. How will he fit in with ball dominant James Harden? Can they coexist? Houston, an Harden, won many fans last year I felt. He took his game to another stratosphere.

In Texas the perennial battle between Kidd Vicious Dallas and Ron San Antonio rages on. Dirk, now the NBA elder statesman, continues to defy age with his craftiness. Today sources indicate that he will spend time at centre in his 20th season. The Spurs, now very much Kawai's team always feature in the playoffs and will aim to go one better and extract revenge on the champion Warriors.

Tony Allen has taken his talents to division rivals the Pelicans feat nufan and Son of Skeletor . But at least the Pellies re-signed Dante Cunningham, which is good right?

Who's gonna come out trumps from the south west?
 
Sep 21, 2004
46,403
52,543
AFL Club
GWS
Make sure to read Ron's preview just before bedtime. You will never have a better night's sleep.

I will process now in inverse order from bad to Spurs.

Memphis (32-50). Gasol and Conley are still good, but the rest of their roster is poor. They get heaps of injuries and Chandler Parsons can't even lock down a Jenner anymore. He's done. And Ive just had a look through their roster and they have no shooting. You couldn't pay me to watch this mob this year.

Dallas (38-44). As Dirk moves into the 2nd half of his career, they do have a shell of s future finally. Dennis Smith may be Westbrook, or Steve Francis. Ill settle for something in between. Harrison Barnes is an elite iso scorer, but doesnt pass, shoot enough 3s or get to the FT line. We have about 9 PGs on our roster so I expect lots of 3 guard lineups running around Dirk screens. Also, we pissed Noel off by not paying him, now we're benching him. He will be traded. Curry might aswell.

New Orleans (44-38). Horrendously lopsided roster. AD and Cousins will have to go against double teams all year. Just not enough talented guards and wings.

Houston (58-24). Yeah 2 dominant PGs and all that, but you can't tell me 2 players as intelligent as Harden and Paul won't find a way to make it work. I predicted they'd win less than 30 games last year so I aint s**t about them. Although they won't a championship without a Draymond Green type.

San Antonio (61-21). I don't know who's on their team this year. They will win 60 games.
 

Log in to remove this ad.

May 23, 2012
15,488
14,217
Smoothie King Central
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
Tottenham Hotspur, New Orleans Pels
Pelicans-mascot-Pierre.jpg




FINISHED: Somewhere mediocre, for a change. On the plus side we managed to avoid finishing bottom of the SW Division for once, so that's progress.

SNAFFLED: Rajon Rondo, 'Grindfather' Tony Allen, Ian "I'm not even white" Clark, Darius Miller v2.0 & Frank "I'm already injured" Jackson via Draft.

BANISHED: Tim Frazier, Quincy Pondexter. Thankfully the Pels managed to hang on to coveted jewels Omer Asik and Alexis Ajinca.

DRAFTED: Besides the aforementioned Jackson, nobody. Nawlins don't do drafting anymore, we simply wait for the big fish to come to us.


C8DZNfNVAAAw_1w.jpg:large



MODUS OPERANDI: Usually involves several players out with injuries before the season starts - tick.

A large amount of roster turnover is also usually a safe bet - 26 different players donned the legendary Pels' uniform last season alone. At least none of them actually died this time.

On court New Orleans is doing the smart thing and loading up on seven footers - fashion is cyclical, and like mullets and happy pants the days of playing three centres at once is long overdue a second wind. Besides, who needs shooting when you can have five back-up centres on the roster?


e2c2d350-1229-45c1-84c4-15b1ab6dcd56_560_420.jpg



Pictured: The Pelicans brainstrust plot their next move.



TOKEN UPLIFTING IMAGE: Here you go.






EXPERT FAN ANALYSIS: Please enjoy this Q & A with local Pels devotee nufan , conducted live from hospital bedside - hey, it's New Orleans.


Will the Pels miss Solomon Hill? Can you believe that this is actually a serious question?

Sadly yes, we have zero wing depth, save us Dante Cunningham, you're our only hope.

How do they replace his minutes in the rotation?

Only play 3 quarters? Defensively minded is the only answer, thank god for our coach and roster. Yeah we will be fine.

Can Rajon Rondo work with this roster?

How many games do we have on TNT?

Actually yes (when healthy) the thing that helps is Jrue moving to the 2. In real RPM he is the 7th best SG as opposed to the 18th best PG

Should this team play fast or slow?

I have absolutely no idea, Boogie seems to want to push the tempo but wow look at the shooters we've put around him and Davis

On a similar tangent, do you think a Princeton style offence like the Kings of yesteryear used to employ would work with this roster? Basically a high-low post combo with lots of cuts, screens and hand-offs?

This is the answer, if nothing else hopefully Gentry announces he will be running it pre season and then gets fired 11 games in much like Pringles in LA

Jrue Holiday is now richer than Croesus - what does he have to do to instill genuine faith among Pelican tragics like yourself?

Play 70 games.

Should any player signing with Nawlins immediately consider life insurance?

They would be rejected immediately

What could the Pels learn from the Richmond football club?

Small ball works.... oh s**t


WORD ASSOCIATION TIME:

Alvin Gentry - Fired

Omer Asik - Joke

Medical department - Punch line

Playoffs - Hopeful

Smoothie - Tony Allen's inner monologue

Chicago - **** off Dez!



CRYSTAL BALL: Will we get a weekly Bill Simmons Anthony Davis-to-the-Celtics twitter trade idea for the entire upcoming season?


ELJ7mJL.gif
 

2006_Eagles

Brownlow Medallist
10k Posts BeanCoiNFT Investor Spooderman Meme Medal
Sep 6, 2015
28,197
23,338
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Pelicans, Perf Wildcats
Once again, looks to be the strongest division in the comp
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Remove this Banner Ad

Back