Preview 2019 Round 18 - Richmond vs Port Adelaide @ MCG, Saturday July 20, 1:45pm

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From the Diary of Ken Hinkley

(There's a TLDR version at the bottom for all you lazy campaigners who can't be bothered reading the short story I wrote for your entertainment.)

July 06, 2019
I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world. What a night it was. The world finally saw me for the man that I am, as I led my boys to a crushing defeat of our enemies in West Lakes. 57 points. That's all it took for the world to stop in their tracks and look at me. Nine beautiful goals to announce my dominance over the peasants. It was the sweetest press conference of my life. Watching the fear in the eyes of the reporters. They knew that I was the king of Adelaide tonight. Nay, I am no king. To them, and to my countless fans who will parade my name across the streets, I am a god. Tonight, I will bathe in the tears of Tex Walker and the mindless droves that put their hopes in him. I will sleep easily, with the glorious sounds of my victory. All shall know me, and they shall fear my greatness. Chris Fagan will sleep with one eye open tonight, knowing that I'm coming for him next.

July 14, 2019
I don't understand. This was supposed to be the beginning of my reign. The wave that would sweep through a nation and make everybody quake at the sound of my voice. And yet, those pretenders from Queensland flew down here and defeated me by 48 points. Cornesy said it wasn't possible. We were supposed to be presented the premiership cup tomorrow, when the entire competition surrendered to the greatness of Port Adelaide. But tonight, as I walked through the streets of our glorious city (which is definitely better than Melbourne), it all fell apart. They've already taken Wines. His blood covers the bars, used to write horrific messages that I dare not repeat here. Cornsey is on damage control, but it is worse than we could have imagined. Adelaide Oval lies in flames, and the night is not even over yet. And somehow I have to show my face next week. Who do we play again? I should probably check the fixture.

July 15, 2019

Richmond. We play Richmond. I'd might as well jump into the Torrens River and let it take me to sea. What chance do we have against the roar of the Tigers? My pathetic excuse for a team couldn't even beat their VFL side. I see now that my delusions of grandeur had gotten the better of me. Just like they had after we beat Geelong. But this time it is so much worse. The Port fans want blood. They already have it. First Wines, and now Dixon hasn't shown up to training. I fear that they have already gotten to him. This morning, a letter sat on my desk. Two simple words covered the page. "Sack Hinkey". I was so shaken that I pulled a tarp around myself and rocked back and forth, until I finally fell asleep.

July 16, 2019

I awoke to the sound of sirens, Alberton Oval being locked up like a military base under attack. Right now, I'm hiding under my desk, hoping that this all blows over. But I know it won't. It's much too late for that. They are coming for my head. Even the most loyal of Port Adelaide fans have turned against me. Cornsey just messaged me a picture of Koch's head on a spike. They've broken through the outer defences. It won't be long before they break down the door to my office and string me up. Outside, I can hear the screams of the playing group. Powell-Peper, Butters, even they Grays. Is there anything that can stop this surge?

July 17, 2019

I've got it. Even as my haters thump against the barricaded doors to my office, my head throbbing with it, I've come up with a plan. I might not be the coach that I thought I was, but I'll be damned if this doesn't work. Soon, I'll be the man who stopped the Great Alberton Massacre. I dig through the cupboards in search of the disc. The disc that will save my life. Finally, I find it. I pull the beautiful circle out of its case and run to the blu-ray player on my desk. Hands shaking, I shove it inside, broadcasting the audio across the oval. "There are stories everywhere you look," a voice calls across Alberton Oval. It's Anthony Hudson. That sweet, sweet voice that will save me. "Today is about-" I skip ahead. I'll need something stronger to turn the tide of this bloody battle. I skip an hour through the DVD, then two. The voice of Bruce Mvavaney takes over. "Lambert goes across, didn't really have to. Do you know what? It's Tiger Time." Suddenly the screaming stops, the riots quelling. They remember that day. The only thing they hate more than me right now is the Crows. They'll always hate the Crows more. And what's sweeter than the Crows being humiliated in a Grand Final? Nothing. I slump back in my chair and listen as the rest of the DVD plays out. When I leave my office, the Port fans are crying, consoling each other and remembering how close we came to an Adelaide flag. I own this town again. And I owed it all to Richmond. I suppose, in some small way, I should pay them back. I'll let them win this week. Of course, if I wanted to, I could crush them. Because I'm the king. But this time, I would let them have the win as thanks.


TLDR: Ken Hinkley stops the great 2019 massacre at Alberton Oval by playing the 2017 Grand Final to calm the Port fans. As thanks, he'll let us win this week.


Round 17

Richmond: We had to grind out a win in the wet against a depleted GWS side that wouldn't go away. We never really looked like losing but didn't exactly go for the kill either. Nonetheless, we got the 4 points and move on to our 2nd game at the G in a row.

Port Adelaide: The Power had a horrific loss to Brisbane. The Lions tore them to shreds from the start of the game with their fast ball movement and superior skills. At this point, Port Adelaide are so inconsistent that they are consistent.

Port Adelaide in Turmoil

Port's form line for the year is uncanny, looking like WW LL WW LL W L W L W L W L. Unfortunately, this means that we have caught Port on a week that they are due to win, rebounding hard from their humiliating defeat. However, if you dig a little deeper, there isn't so much of a reason to worry. Over their four recent wins, they have beaten Gold Coast (trash), St Kilda (trash), Geelong (coming off the bye) and Adelaide (showdowns are always 50/50). Hence, I'm not too worried about them. We should be good enough to hold them off, even if they do find some form for a week.

In the aftermath of Brisbane's crushing victory, Port fans aren't exactly happy. They've begun to roll out the old Sack Hinkey threads, and if my calculations are correct, they should be storming Alberton Oval by Monday morning. The Port board is in utter disarray.

Exhibit A:

709243


Exhibit B:

709245


Exhibit C:

709246


Exhibit D:

709247


Exhibit E:

709248


Exhibit F:

709249


Exhibit G:

709250


Exhibit H: (Okay, this one isn't really a point to why Alberton is currently in flames, but I had to include it somewhere).




Richmond Back in the Hunt?
The Tigers have started to turn heads over the last few weeks, winning three on the trot and looking in good shape to attack the final six weeks of the season, and hopefully clinch a top 4 spot. While it could come down to the final games against West Coast and Brisbane, it's important that we keep winning. This game is non-negotiable if we want to contend for the flag this year. With most of our best players back, we should be able to get the job done, with the Tiger Army out in full force on what hopefully (although unlikely) turns out to be a nice Saturday in Melbourne.

Potential Changes
With Nankervis still a couple of weeks away at least, the Tigers don't seem likely to make many changes, after a good contribution from the full 22 on Sunday. Apparently, Caddy played well in the VFL, so he could potentially return to the side for Eggmolesse-Smith, prompting a reshuffling. Stack could return to the backline, while Bolton thriving in the midfield would allow Caddy to remain forward.

As for changes to Port, I don't really know and I don't particularly care to delve any deeper into their board to find out. Likely, they'll make a few changes given their humiliating loss to Brisbane.

Tip
Richmond to grind out a 24 point win against a Port team that come to play, delivering their first back to back loss since Round 8.
 
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Lsta062

Brownlow Medallist
Jul 15, 2014
21,577
41,424
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
Chelsea, LA Lakers, Western United
This is a huge game. If we want to make top 4, then we need to win this game. I know Port Adelaide are on a WLWL streak right now and that they are very enigmatic, but we need to keep up with Brisbane so that we can at least join them in the top 4 if we aren’t replacing them.

So far, we have been good at trailing them. By this I mean the following:

- Brisbane beat Port Adelaide round 3, we beat Port in round 4.
- Brisbane beat St Kilda in Round 14, we beat St Kilda in round 15.
- Brisbane beat GWS in round 16, we beat GWS in round 17.

Brisbane now defeated Port Adelaide, so hopefully we can get the job done in a similar way to the way we defeated Port Adelaide the first time. I don’t really mind if this one is a close win because the wins are the most important for us if we want to make top 4. We can still drastically improve our percentage, but it’s much easier to make top 4 on wins than percentage for us.

Changes:
IN: Caddy, Graham
OUT: Eggmolesse-Smith, Rioli

I don’t mind if Rioli stays, but I want Caddy and Graham in. Caddy did more than enough in the VFL to get a call up and I still don’t know why Graham was dropped.

We all know Port Adelaide are likely to come and get physical with us. They have used that tactic as a way to psych their opponents out and they’ll probably go for Martin or maybe even someone like Prestia or Houli. It’s up to us to remain composed and focus on the footy and not their mental games. If we do that then I think we will win
 

Lsta062

Brownlow Medallist
Jul 15, 2014
21,577
41,424
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
Chelsea, LA Lakers, Western United
Also, a fun fact (or maybe not so fun fact): Richmond has not defeated Port Adelaide at the MCG since 1998.

A big reason for that is the fact that we have only played them at the MCG 3 times since 1998 for a record of 0 wins, 1 draw and 2 losses, but I’d like to see us break this and beat them at the MCG this week. Strange how this is only our 6th game at the MCG against them since their inception in 1997. We have already played them at Adelaide Oval 6 times and we only started playing them on that ground in 2014.
 
Make no mistake Port will come out hunting us as Hinkley will know that this is almost last roll of the dice for Port and possibly his position at Port and I expect a similar effort to their round 1 game against Melbourne where they targeted the Dees better players and put them off their games.
 

Shazza_

Brownlow Medallist
Jan 2, 2018
16,798
65,119
Safeway carpark
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
Richmond VFL
In the mist
Of my endless search
The best in life
Becomes clear
The rest just begins
To fade by itself
That's a trick I learned
Though it took so long
Bitter tears taste so sweet
I'm seeing my way
For the first time in years
When the love around
Begins to suffer
And you can't find love
In one
In one another
Push away those bitter tears
Bitter tears
And I thought I was doing no wrong
And I thought I was doing no wrong
In the hour
Of your needs
Lips are trembling
Cause your gonna be free
Realize what were doing here
The time is right to kill your fears
Bitter tears taste so sweet
I'm seeing my way
For the first time in years
When the love around
Begins to suffer
And you…











































































































































































2abf314536495efc73c6880fa0d87f40.jpg



172724_273532d884c39052ddd66a64ddc57c4c.jpg



338102-tlsgallerylandscape.jpg


tumblr_n8ymghbUb31qfrw7to1_400.gif
 
In the mist
Of my endless search
The best in life
Becomes clear
The rest just begins
To fade by itself
That's a trick I learned
Though it took so long
Bitter tears taste so sweet
I'm seeing my way
For the first time in years
When the love around
Begins to suffer
And you can't find love
In one
In one another
Push away those bitter tears
Bitter tears
And I thought I was doing no wrong
And I thought I was doing no wrong
In the hour
Of your needs
Lips are trembling
Cause your gonna be free
Realize what were doing here
The time is right to kill your fears
Bitter tears taste so sweet
I'm seeing my way
For the first time in years
When the love around
Begins to suffer
And you…











































































































































































View attachment 709342


View attachment 709343


View attachment 709344

View attachment 709341

Thread is now complete. Thanks Shazza.
 
brilliant work Shadowthorn !!

Huge game (feel like I saw that every week..)

As others have pointed out they will come out breathing fire.

I feel like Port have always bullied us around the contest so I wouldn't mind seeing a Caddy or Graham back into the team to help with the contested ball.

Brisbane showed the key to beating Port, quick ball movement and pressure. Which thankfully we are pretty good at.

I feel like Jack and Tom should be able to cause a few headaches for the Port defenders.
 
Our defence was back to their best on the weekend. Teams will struggle to score against us for the rest of the year if we keep the system up.

I expect this to be a close game though but we should win.
 
Jun 18, 2007
25,842
49,841
Top of the tree
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
#VICBIAS
From the Diary of Ken Hinkley

(There's a TLDR version at the bottom for all you lazy campaigners who can't be bothered reading the short story I wrote for your entertainment.)

July 06, 2019
I hope it doesn't sound arrogant when I say that I am the greatest man in the world. What a night it was. The world finally saw me for the man that I am, as I led my boys to a crushing defeat of our enemies in West Lakes. 57 points. That's all it took for the world to stop in their tracks and look at me. Nine beautiful goals to announce my dominance over the peasants. It was the sweetest press conference of my life. Watching the fear in the eyes of the reporters. They knew that I was the king of Adelaide tonight. Nay, I am no king. To them, and to my countless fans who will parade my name across the streets, I am a god. Tonight, I will bathe in the tears of Tex Walker and the mindless droves that put their hopes in him. I will sleep easily, with the glorious sounds of my victory. All shall know me, and they shall fear my greatness. Chris Fagan will sleep with one eye open tonight, knowing that I'm coming for him next.

July 14, 2019
I don't understand. This was supposed to be the beginning of my reign. The wave that would sweep through a nation and make everybody quake at the sound of my voice. And yet, those pretenders from Queensland flew down here and defeated me by 48 points. Cornesy said it wasn't possible. We were supposed to be presented the premiership cup tomorrow, when the entire competition surrendered to the greatness of Port Adelaide. But tonight, as I walked through the streets of our glorious city (which is definitely better than Melbourne), it all fell apart. They've already taken Wines. His blood covers the bars, used to write horrific messages that I dare not repeat here. Cornsey is on damage control, but it is worse than we could have imagined. Adelaide Oval lies in flames, and the night is not even over yet. And somehow I have to show my face next week. Who do we play again? I should probably check the fixture.

July 15, 2019

Richmond. We play Richmond. I'd might as well jump into the Torrens River and let it take me to sea. What chance do we have against the roar of the Tigers? My pathetic excuse for a team couldn't even beat their VFL side. I see now that my delusions of grandeur had gotten the better of me. Just like they had after we beat Geelong. But this time it is so much worse. The Port fans want blood. They already have it. First Wines, and now Dixon hasn't shown up to training. I fear that they have already gotten to him. This morning, a letter sat on my desk. Two simple words covered the page. "Sack Hinkey". I was so shaken that I pulled a tarp around myself and rocked back and forth, until I finally fell asleep.

July 16, 2019

I awoke to the sound of sirens, Alberton Oval being locked up like a military base under attack. Right now, I'm hiding under my desk, hoping that this all blows over. But I know it won't. It's much too late for that. They are coming for my head. Even the most loyal of Port Adelaide fans have turned against me. Cornsey just messaged me a picture of Koch's head on a spike. They've broken through the outer defences. It won't be long before they break down the door to my office and string me up. Outside, I can hear the screams of the playing group. Powell-Peper, Butters, even they Grays. Is there anything that can stop this surge?

July 17, 2019

I've got it. Even as my haters thump against the barricaded doors to my office, my head throbbing with it, I've come up with a plan. I might not be the coach that I thought I was, but I'll be damned if this doesn't work. Soon, I'll be the man who stopped the Great Alberton Massacre. I dig through the cupboards in search of the disc. The disc that will save my life. Finally, I find it. I pull the beautiful circle out of its case and run to the blu-ray player on my desk. Hands shaking, I shove it inside, broadcasting the audio across the oval. "There are stories everywhere you look," a voice calls across Alberton Oval. It's Anthony Hudson. That sweet, sweet voice that will save me. "Today is about-" I skip ahead. I'll need something stronger to turn the tide of this bloody battle. I skip an hour through the DVD, then two. The voice of Bruce Mvavaney takes over. "Lambert goes across, didn't really have to. Do you know what? It's Tiger Time." Suddenly the screaming stops, the riots quelling. They remember that day. The only thing they hate more than me right now is the Crows. They'll always hate the Crows more. And what's sweeter than the Crows being humiliated in a Grand Final? Nothing. I slump back in my chair and listen as the rest of the DVD plays out. When I leave my office, the Port fans are crying, consoling each other and remembering how close we came to an Adelaide flag. I own this town again. And I owed it all to Richmond. I suppose, in some small way, I should pay them back. I'll let them win this week. Of course, if I wanted to, I could crush them. Because I'm the king. But this time, I would let them have the win as thanks.


TLDR: Ken Hinkley stops the great 2019 massacre at Alberton Oval by playing the 2017 Grand Final to calm the Port fans. As thanks, he'll let us win this week.


Round 17

Richmond: We had to grind out a win in the wet against a depleted GWS side that wouldn't go away. We never really looked like losing but didn't exactly go for the kill either. Nonetheless, we got the 4 points and move on to our 2nd game at the G in a row.

Port Adelaide: The Power had a horrific loss to Brisbane. The Lions tore them to shreds from the start of the game with their fast ball movement and superior skills. At this point, Port Adelaide are so inconsistent that they are consistent.

Port Adelaide in Turmoil

Port's form line for the year is uncanny, looking like WW LL WW LL W L W L W L W L. Unfortunately, this means that we have caught Port on a week that they are due to win, rebounding hard from their humiliating defeat. However, if you dig a little deeper, there isn't so much of a reason to worry. Over their four recent wins, they have beaten Gold Coast (trash), St Kilda (trash), Geelong (coming off the bye) and Adelaide (showdowns are always 50/50). Hence, I'm not too worried about them. We should be good enough to hold them off, even if they do find some form for a week.

In the aftermath of Brisbane's crushing victory, Port fans aren't exactly happy. They've begun to roll out the old Sack Hinkey threads, and if my calculations are correct, they should be storming Alberton Oval by Monday morning. The Port board is in utter disarray.

Exhibit A:

View attachment 709243

Exhibit B:

View attachment 709245

Exhibit C:

View attachment 709246

Exhibit D:

View attachment 709247

Exhibit E:

View attachment 709248

Exhibit F:

View attachment 709249

Exhibit G:

View attachment 709250

Exhibit H: (Okay, this one isn't really a point to why Alberton is currently in flames, but I had to include it somewhere).




Richmond Back in the Hunt?
The Tigers have started to turn heads over the last few weeks, winning three on the trot and looking in good shape to attack the final six weeks of the season, and hopefully clinch a top 4 spot. While it could come down to the final games against West Coast and Brisbane, it's important that we keep winning. This game is non-negotiable if we want to contend for the flag this year. With most of our best players back, we should be able to get the job done, with the Tiger Army out in full force on what hopefully (although unlikely) turns out to be a nice Saturday in Melbourne.

Potential Changes
With Nankervis still a couple of weeks away at least, the Tigers don't seem likely to make many changes, after a good contribution from the full 22 on Sunday. Apparently, Caddy played well in the VFL, so he could potentially return to the side for Eggmolesse-Smith, prompting a reshuffling. Stack could return to the backline, while Bolton thriving in the midfield would allow Caddy to remain forward.

As for changes to Port, I don't really know and I don't particularly care to delve any deeper into their board to find out. Likely, they'll make a few changes given their humiliating loss to Brisbane.

Tip
Richmond to grind out a 24 point win against a Port team that come to play, delivering their first back to back loss since Round 8.

I liked it because it was brilliant, then I unliked it because your sig says the biggest dumpster fire ever was a good movie, then I re-liked it because I'm not racist. Richmond by 50.
 
Port will be relying their WLWLWL record to get them up.

We'll just keep on rolling and go right over them. Whatever was wrong with Graham is hopefully over and he'll be back. Caddy is also likely back. Egg out and Stack/Sheds back. And ? for graham.
 
Nick "the mini dick" Dal Santo is already saying he wouldn't be surprised if Port gets up on Saturday. Definate banter worthy from a Tiger hater.
 
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