2021 Board Elections

Which candidate will you be voting for?

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Brownlow Medallist
Jan 31, 2009
AFL Club
Club will probably rig the vote like they did the Guernsey vote a couple of years ago.
Someone they can control will win.


Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 17, 2008
East Falafel Town
AFL Club
Other Teams
Whilst not entirely relevant, it’s not inapplicable either - but I’m thinking of Theranos.

the great Silicon Valley scandal of recent times, which was in large part fuelled by the fact that they had an illustrious board who knew literally zero about the science of the business there were in. They were not able to provide critical challenge because they had no idea how impossible some of what they were being told was.

at some point you need governance and oversight who understands what is being said
How about Crown?


Mr Demetriou was the current chairman of Crown Melbourne and was a member of Crowns Risk Management Committee from 2018.

The Bergin Report found he had no formal anti-money laundering training before joining Crown's board.

Following allegations of money laundering through two of Crown's VIP banking accounts in 2019, Mr Demetriou said he never took the chance to look at the accounts himself, saying he was not an accountant.

The Bergin Report also found Mr Demetriou had pledged allegiance to James Packer, Crown's largest shareholder, and regularly provided him with information whenever asked.


Norm Smith Medallist
Aug 4, 2004
on planet Crow
AFL Club
Other Teams
If unsure, vote Shanti. As I have said, I have seen her working. She is tough and takes no crap. She will not be a 'yes' person to the current board.
We need fresh eyes who are willing to questions things. She fits that bill.

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We Await Silent Tristero's Empire
Nov 24, 2007
Memorial H
AFL Club
Other Teams
#Antifa #NZ
Every time I see her name, i think of The Waste Land (it ends Shantih, Shantih, Shantih)

And every few years I think I should read that again, and then I do, and then I stop because fu** me it's a turgid piece of modernistic sh*t.


Brownlow Medallist
May 17, 2009
AFL Club
Other Teams
If unsure, vote Shanti. As I have said, I have seen her working. She is tough and takes no crap. She will not be a 'yes' person to the current board.
We need fresh eyes who are willing to questions things. She fits that bill.
Voted for her, bit meh on all of them and not sure how much of an impact any member rep can have, but she seemed to at least have the right ideas about the issues at the club.
May 24, 2006
Car 55
AFL Club
Other Teams
Redbacks, Sturt, Liverpool, Arizona
Several Board members, coaches and Board candidate Donny are addressing the players

Donny: Adam has invited me to speak to you today about one of the key planks of my election platform, which is to implement a zero tolerance policy for off-field indiscretions.

Adam Kelly: Just to clarify, this is something the Board is considering bringing in, in light of a few recent high profile mishaps off the field.

Josh Worrell: Now when you say zero tolerance…?

Adam Kelly: (whispers in Donny’s ear) Josh got done for drink driving a couple of months back.

Donny: Oh… well, starting now it would be zero tolerance. It’s about the future. It wouldn’t be about looking backwards or applying retrospective penalties.

Tyson Stengle: You beauty!

Adam Kelly: Hang on. That doesn’t mean you’re back in.

Tyson Stengle: Why not? She said starting now.

Adam Kelly: It’s different for you.

Tyson Stengle: How is it different?

Adam Kelly: Because… umm… you had three of them. That’s right. One we would have let it slide but three is too many. Sorry Tyson.

Rory Sloane: So is it zero tolerance or not?

Adam Kelly: It was one tolerance, two tops. Now it’s zero tolerance. Anyway Tyson, I heard that you were out until 1:30am the other night. Does that really sound like the actions of a professional footballer looking to turn things around?

Tyson Stengle: Do you want to know who was with me?

Adam Kelly: Umm… do we want to know that?

Matthew Nicks: No we do not.

Tyson Stengle: How about what we were doing?

Adam Kelly: Security? (clicks fingers and points at Tyson). I’m sorry, Tyson. You just haven’t met the behaviour standards we expect.

(Security guard escorts Tyson Stengle out of the building as Mark Ricciuto starts talking)

Mark Ricciuto: Are we 100% comfortable with zero tolerance? I mean… losing Tyson Stengle is one thing but what if one of our good players slipped up? No offense, Tyson. Are we really going to…?

Donny: If the club is serious about building its culture and setting standards then that’s exactly what you need to do. Sometimes you need to make a statement. Even describing them as “slip ups” is an attempt to excuse the behaviour. Players must take responsibility for their actions if you want to set a high standard.

Mark Ricciuto: I mean… these are young men though. They need to let off steam every now and again. Boys will be boys… I don’t think there’s anything wrong with our culture anyway.

Matthew Nicks: If anything we’re too close. Enjoying each other’s company too much.

Mark Ricciuto: Too much bloody culture.

Donny: I’m not saying that there isn’t culture at the club. But maybe there’s not the right culture.

Matthew Nicks: I guess Mark’s saying that zero doesn’t leave much wriggle room.

Mark Ricciuto: Spot on. Need to be careful not to box ourselves in.

Matthew Nicks: Take Josh for instance. He did the right thing. Didn’t drive home that night, slept it off, came home in the morning. Tried to do the responsible thing.

Donny: He drove home drunk. That’s the bottom line. It’s his responsibility to learn about the effects of alcohol on the body. And the club’s job to educate him. We can’t keep making excuses for every indiscretion. It becomes a very slippery slope if we do.

Mark Ricciuto: What’s this “we” business, Donny? You haven’t been elected yet.

Matthew Nicks: The bye round could be carnage. We won’t have a team left. Is there a danger that tighter rules just creates a culture where players cover things up, lie to authority, sneak around…?

Mark Ricciuto: Take drugs at each other’s houses.

Donny: We need a stricter drug testing regiment. Drug and alcohol bans in place. Daily blood and breath testing above and beyond what’s required by the AFL and ASADA. And if we’re serious it needs to extend to staff and Board members as well.

Mark Ricciuto: Now hang on a minute!

Donny: What’s good for the goose… Do you want a professional culture or not?

Mark Ricciuto: Hmm… now I’m not so sure.

Matthew Nicks: Shouldn’t we be looking at what happens on field rather than worrying about the off-field so much?

Mark Ricciuto: Yeah… we lost 14 games in a row last season.

Adam Kelly: On-field is an extension of off-field.

Mark Ricciuto: I think it’s the other way round. When you’re garbage then no one cares about off-field standards. What’s the difference? You’re going to lose anyway. All you’re thinking about is Mad Monday. If you’ve got a finals spot on the line then everyone is busting a gut trying to get picked and doing everything right.

Donny: Mad Monday has got to go too.

Players: What?!

Donny: It’s a blokey relic of yesteryear. Alcoholism disguised as male bonding. That culture is where a lot of the problems start.

Mark Ricciuto: Some of my best football memories involved a few beers. A few laughs, good innocent fun, you get up to some mischief…

Taylor Walker: A punch on in the carpark…

Mark Ricciuto: I remember we beat West Coast over in Perth in Round 22 one season. Had a few beers together after the game. Away from home, no wives or girlfriends… so the handbrake was off. We won a bunch of finals and a flag after that. It was the best thing for us.

Donny: People need to understand that we’ve entered a new era of professionalism. What has been accepted behaviour in the past may not-

Mark Ricciuto: Look, I’m all for zero tolerance but it can’t be for everything. Sure, you don’t tolerate the really bad stuff but these minor things…?

Donny: The little things lead to bigger things. A few drinks leads to a lot of drinks. A lot of drinks can lead to violence. Taking drugs can lead to making poor decisions.

Taylor Walker: Like picking fights with yiros shop owners.

Mark Ricciuto: I think it’s too harsh. You can’t be responsible for your actions when you’ve had a skinful anyway. After a certain point no one knows what they’re doing. You know those mornings – you get woken up by the automatic sprinkler, asleep on the front lawn, covered in vomit…

Matt Crouch: Your wallet or phone is missing.

Paul Seedsman: (nods knowingly) Or both.

Jake Kelly: Everything after midnight is a blur.

Brodie Smith: You can’t remember getting home.

Mark Ricciuto: You’ve got a massive bruise from something but you can’t remember getting it.

Taylor Walker: I call those UDIs

Mark Ricciuto: Huh?

Taylor Walker: Unidentified Drinking Injuries!

Mark Ricciuto: Ha! Surely all that stuff has to be inadmissible?

Donny: The onus has to be on the players not to get themselves into that state in the first place. We can’t call it zero tolerance if we’re going to overlook these so called “slip ups.”

Mark Ricciuto: So it needs another name?

Donny: Zero tolerance may not be popular but if I get elected this is going to be my first order of business. And it’s the Board’s role to make unpopular but prudent decisions at times for the good of the club.

Mark Ricciuto: You’d only be part of the Board though wouldn’t you? We’d still need to vote on it.

Donny: Yes but I can’t imagine anyone would vote against it. You just frog-marched a player out of the building for off-field behaviour issues. It’s not exactly a culture to be proud of.

Rory Sloane: Sorry to butt in but it doesn’t sound like everyone is on the same page here.

Matthew Clarke: I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol while I was playing. Early to bed, early to rise. I just didn’t see the attraction.

Matt Crouch: Did you have any friends?

Mark Ricciuto: Different strokes for different folks, Crouchy. Nothing wrong with that. I just don’t like these blanket rules. Remember when Craigy tried the alcohol ban? Went down like a lead balloon. He was sacked not long after. That was the final straw.

Adam Kelly: If zero tolerance is too harsh then what’s one step down? Something that says we’re maintaining a professional, disciplined culture but we’re not wowsers applying Draconian, unrealistic standards that we have no hope of sticking to.

Matthew Nicks: There has to be a middle ground.

Rory Sloane: Do you really want us here for this? Sounds like you’re a fair way apart. Maybe we should be out training?

Adam Kelly: Nah, we’re all here now. Let’s nut this out. Don’t let it fester.

Matthew Nicks: Clarko talks about the four Ps at Hawthorn. Maybe we could base something around that?

Adam Kelly: Piss, punt, pussy and… what was the other one? Drug-related I think.

Matt Crouch: Persians?

Paul Seedsman: Pearl?

Adam Kelly: No…

Taylor Walker: Powder?

Jake Kelly: Purple caps?

Adam Kelly: Guys…

Brodie Smith: Panama Red?

Matt Crouch: Pot?

Paul Seedsman: Paradise White?

Taylor Walker: Pimp?

Jake Kelly: Pills?

Brodie Smith: Poppers?

Matt Crouch: Pingers?

Paul Seedsman: Percodan?

Taylor Walker: Peruvian Paradise?

(Donny stares, mouth agape)

Adam Kelly: …yeah, one of those I think.

Mark Ricciuto: I’ll say it again; I don’t think we have a problem with off-field behaviour… or drugs and alcohol. Just a couple of isolated incidents… rare lapses that aren’t a reflection of the overall culture. And he's gone anyway. Ok, I’m heading off. Thanks for dropping by, Donny. Really good session. Got a lot done. See you all at the pub.
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