Banter 2021 Off-Topic Chat Thread

[Shell]

Should have called it "Shellitis"

 

[Shell]

I actually notice it coming back now and again- like.. the first time i had thousands of them on me. This time its like 10-15, theyre tiny cant barely notice them.

But then they disappear in 1-2 days.

I reckon my body must have an immunity to it now.

 

[Spazz Cat]

Im at a house too. But its not mine

Ooooooooh! What's happening???

 

[Shell]

Ooooooooh! What's happening???

Not that.

U disgusting man

 

[Spazz Cat]

Not that.

U disgusting man

Oh. Fair enough

 

[Shell]

At my parents beach house

 

[Spazz Cat]

I actually notice it coming back now and again- like.. the first time i had thousands of them on me. This time its like 10-15, theyre tiny cant barely notice them.

But then they disappear in 1-2 days.

I reckon my body must have an immunity to it now.

I had a tik bury it's way into my thigh once.
Dunno how it got there.

 

[Spazz Cat]

At my parents beach house

Nice

 

[cats_09]

Oh. Fair enough

You don't think that if it was that, that she would have better things to do than be chatting to us plebs on BF?

 

[Shell]

I had a tik bury it's way into my thigh once.
Dunno how it got there.

Tics and leeches can gagfd

 

[Spazz Cat]

You don't think that if it was that, that she would have better things to do than be chatting to us plebs on BF?

Hahaha yeah you've got a point.Shell loves Bigfooty but I don't think she likes it that much

 

[Spazz Cat]

Tics and leeches can gagfd

Yeah, had a leech on the bottom of my foot too. Same town.

 

[Spazz Cat]

And like 20+ bluebottles. At least.

 

[Shell]

barelyanAFLfan

Shell's run down of every current AFL team. Not using google either here.

Let's start with the least important teams of them all. The interstate teams. These are teams all varying in "ages" in other states than Victoria.

New South Wales:
- Sydney Swans: were originally based in South Melbourne in Vic, but were moved in the early 80s to Sydney. This was the beginning of the end of the VFL. Colors are red and white, with a little crest looking a bit like the sydney opera house/swans wings? idk.. Everyone has a soft spot for Sydney apparently down here but i dont. They can go get ****ed. They also get extra room in the salary cap because of "COLA"- thats cost of living allowance, as it is more expensive to live up in Sydney than anywhere else. Apparently.

They're moderately successful having won a handful of flags, including a belter in 2005 or 6. By one point.

- Greater Western Sydney: colors are orange and something. Shit colors. Only been in the competition for a few years, like.. idk 6 or so years, maybe more. Im not googling it. Because GWS doesnt matter. Theyve made one Grand Final, back in 2019 and got their ass kicked.

Queensland:
- Brisbane Lions (formerly Bears): Bisbane Bears merged with Fitzroy in 1997 and have been known as the Lions ever since. I dont mind them myself, they won premierships in 2001/02/03. Nothing much else to say. Brisbane as a city is boring af.

- Gold Coast Suns: Another very new side. Their colours are red and yellow, representing the sun or some shit. Ironic isnt it. No one cares. They poached our best player in their early days and then he came back to us to win a flag but it was too ****ing late- he was too old and injury prone. GOOD ONE GARY. flipping dickhead.

Western Australia:
- West Coast Eagles: Joined the comp i think in the last 80s. Have been quite successful, won flags in 1992, 94, and one of those 06/05 ones. By one point also. Oh yeah and they beat pies in 2018- in one of the best grand finals of all time. Google it- esp the last 10 mins or so. Just frenetic stuff. I was literally jumping around the living room screaming.. and i couldnt even give a shit who won.

- Fremantle Dockers: LOL. The joke of the interstate sides. Colors are purple and white- but just google their old jumper.. actually ill post it. Was horrific. They have won zero flags and made one Grand Final. They are hopeless. And I love it.

South Australia:
- Adelaide Crows: Colors red, white and navy. Joined the comp in the early 90s- and would probably be the most hated interstate side, along with West Coast. Won flags in 1998. And thats it. That was their only flag.

- Port Adelaide: if the "middle class+" support the crows, the "working class/unemployed" follow Port. I dont mind Port myself, theyre usually a fast, quick side i like their style. Colors are teal/black/white.. something like that. They've won one flag- back in 2004. And on the flip side they have been on the other side of the worst grand final loss in history. 119 points. Yes. You heard correctly. Shall put it in context for you...

1-5 points: heartstopper
6-18 points: fairly close
19-30 points: comfortable enough win
31-49 points: a very comfortable win
50-70 points: a shellacking
70-100 points: hang your head in shame. Why bother even showing up?
100 points +: quit. Quit football now and never play again. Dipshits.


K thats enough for now. Ill do Victorian teams laters. x

 

[Shell]

Old freo jumper. its just so bad.. its bad

 

[Shell]

*no offence meant for u kram

 

[Shell]

Ok Ill just do them now...

THE VICTORIAN TEAMS:

I shall do them... hmmm. Ok in order from my least favourite/hated- to my fave.

- ESSENDON BOMBERS: Colours Red and black. One of the oldest clubs in the league and also most successful won like 16 flags or something. Doesnt mean i Like that. I hate them in fact, always have. Theyre quite an arrogant side, but recently have gone much "quieter" on that front since being embroiled in a huge drugs scandal. I wont even go into it- ill be here all day trying to explain. But it ended up with them being stripped of points (like off the ladder- making them miss finals and promoting a team who finished OUT of the finals, INTO the finals) and players were suspended for at least one year. Essendon is a suburb of Melbourne in the North West, about 30 mins from the CBD.

- RICHMOND TIGERS: Colours yellow and black. They used to be a joke in the AFL, but not anymore. It was a running joke they'd always finish 9th. Yeah those days are gone unfortauntely. Now they win flags. Pricks. **** off and go to hell Richmond. Take you foul mouth moronic supporters with ya.

- HAWTHORN HAWKS: Colours yellow and brown (their supporters will claim their colours are gold and brown- but thats a crock of shit. They're yellow). and joined the comp a bit later on?? Are they a 1925 team?? Anyhoo.. they are the most successful team of recent years. Won several in the 80s, several in the 90s, and several in the 2000s. They're complete utter bastards and Geelong supporters hate them very much (they beat us in a Grand Final in 1989 by one goal). They're a very "up themselves" kinda side.

- NORTH MELBOURNE KANGAROOS: COlours sky blue and white. I actually barracked for the kangaroos as a young child- back when I was about 7 years old and my brain hadnt fully developed yet. They are a bit of a joke in the AFL side for being "povo" thats aussie slang for being poor or cash strapped. We also joke about their supporters, ie. "Oh yeah there was a massive crowd at the North game this week? what did 10 ppl show up?" LOL. They won flags in the 70s, and a couple in the 90s when they had one of the best players of all time, Wayne Carey. Fun fact: Wayne Carey ****ed his good mates (teammates) wife and it all was exposed at another players BBQ get together.

- CARLTON BLUES: colours non navy i shall call it. They're like a dark dark navy that looks almost black. Its not navy. Anyhoo.. they're really successful- won lots of flags. But not no more. They are cellar dwellers at the moment and struggle every year. They beat us in 1995 tho which was a shame.

- ST KILDA SAINTS: Colours: red, white and black. i honestly dont have much hate for the ol Saints no more. Not since Milne (a plyers chanrged and convicted of rape) left them agaes ago. They seemed to have cleaned up their act in general. Theyve won one flag in their whole history- and by 1 point too. I wouldnt mind them seeing them win another flag.

- COLLINGWOOD PIES: one of the original teams of the comp and the biggest. COlours black and white stripes. They have the most $$$ and the most supporters. But not necessarily the most class. Their president of a tonne of years just quit yesterday- undre a hail of fire. Their club had an "inquest" into racism culture.. their foundings were not so good.. and ol Eddie the prez started his press confrence with "this is a proud day in COllingwoods history..." Yep. I understand what he was trying to say- but said it so ****ing terribly. Theyve also won a shitload of flags, including the replay. Bak in 2010, they drew with St Kilda. Back then there was no time on no nothing. You come back the next week and do it all again. The Pies smashed the Saints the following week.

- MELBOURNE DEMONS: another old club, an original. Colours blue and red. Another moderately successful club- if you like your flags back in the 1920/30s up to 1963. They seriously cant take a break.. have been struggling since then, with the occasional push into the finals. WHich brings nothing. Their supporters are hilarious- quite upper class. Most go to the snow tho during the winter and miss the footy season. They also have nfi who their players are, you shall hear "Go number 22!!!" alot from the crowd, for example. Lucky for them they got good eyesight and see the numebrs on their backs.

- WESTERN BULLDOGS: My second fave team. They are sweeties. The working class kinda team. Also won only won one flag like St Kilda, but broke that drought in 2016. Was ****ing fantastic. Colours are red white and blue.



- GEELONG CATS: One of the originals and the best. Colours (true) navy and white horizontal stripes. I would call Geelong a very non-arrogant side. We play hard and fair*, and have respect for our opponents, even when we shellack them. Our supporters are not perfect- we dont call our home ground "Sleep Hollow" for no reason- you can hear a pin drop down there. And they can whinge alot when its not going our way. Still- we are ok mostly. When we won flags in 07/09/11 we did not rub it in the faces of others- unlike other teams *coughrichmondcough- . We just partied so ****ing hard- we didnt even give a second thought about the opponent tbh. We've won 9 flags in total over our 100+ years in the comp.

Check this out. We last won our previous flag in 1963.

The scoreline for the 2007 premiership was: 163 to 44. (44 signifying the amount of years it took to get to 07). Mad stat huh, what are the odds.

We've had the GOAT of all time play for us (piss off Carey and Matthews they are NOT the GOAT)- in Gary Ablett Snr. He could do what no other player could ever do. And will never do. Gary Ablett Jnr was his son, the one who left to go to the Gold Coast... he was an amazing player too- but was in the centre, unlike his Dad at FF/wing. So different players.

Yes, I'm glad back in 1993 when I went to my first ever game of AFL Football.. and i saw Geelong lose by 24 points to Essendon- i would always choose Geelong and not them. Ablett kicked 14 goals in that losing side, and i was hooked. 100%. Meow.

 

[Shell]

the * was for Joel Selwood

 

[Shell]

Do you guys agree with my write ups?*


*not asking opposition supporters so **** off.

 

[cats_09]

Yes...



(note, I may not have read every word as I'm switching between like 4 different windows and a dozen tabs)

 

[Shell]

Re. the Selwood crack- of course he is hard.

Am just saying.. fair... hmmm.

I still love his guts tho.

 

[Shell]

I reckon i have accurately captured every teams essence there.

And trying to not be bias when it came to Geelong.

 

[winty]

Do you guys agree with my write ups?*


*not asking opposition supporters so fu** off.

Apart from the fact Adelaide fluked 2 flags instead of 1, everything else was spot on.

 

[Shell]

Apart from the fact Adelaide fluked 2 flags instead of 1, everything else was spot on.

Excuse me. They only won oneflag.

End of discussion they can ****ing **** off

 

[winty]

Excuse me. They only won oneflag.

End of discussion they can ******* fu** off

True. They won one flag - they were gifted the other. My bad.