Banter 2021 Off-Topic Chat Thread

[rocker_oz33]

Holey moley time.

 

[cats_09]

Tomic's match ended in player retirement - the 23rd such time it's happened in one of his matches

The difference this time is that it's his opponent whom retired - only the 2nd time in those 23 retirements

 

[rocker_oz33]

I thought tomic wasnt playing.

More time for mrs tomic to wash her hair..

 

[Spazz Cat]

Still a hole in my f**king gumboot
Pants are too small, and shirt is too big.
And I look like a gay cricketer.

 

[Spazz Cat]

Tomic's match ended in player retirement - the 23rd such time it's happened in one of his matches

The difference this time is that it's his opponent whom retired - only the 2nd time in those 23 retirements

Ayyyy Tomic! He won by default lol

 

[rocker_oz33]

Went outside to check things out earlier.

2 kangaroos were punching on.

 

[rocker_oz33]

Still a hole in my f**king gumboot
Pants are too small, and shirt is too big.
And I look like a gay cricketer.

So like normal then...

 

[Spazz Cat]

So like normal then...

Yep. Actually less gay than normal.

 

[cats_09]

Ayyyy Tomic! He won by default lol

He must have been quite confused to hear that the match ended by retirement and he still gets to play the next round

 

[Shell]

barelyanAFLfan

Right....

It's time you learnt about Australian Rules Football. I am going to give you a brief history on our game- and I aint using google (except for pics). This is Shell's version of VFL/AFL History, so settle in.

First things first- where and when it all began. In the mid 1800s a game was invented by some guy, you dont need to know the names of, to keep the cricketers fit during the winter seasons. It eventually broke off into its own "stand alone" competition, beginning in 1896. The orginial teams included Geelong (our team, Collingwood and Melbourne.

Just in case you dont know- here is where it began. AUSTRALIA



^^^^^^^ right there. Bottom right hand state of Victoria.


Around 1925 more teams joined the competition- making it a true Victorian code of football. It was not played anywhere else outside Victoria, unless they had "lesser" local leagues going on in their states. I dont know and to be honest I dont really care. A whole lot of stuff happened between 1925-70s.

Fast Forward to the early 1980s. A team called South Melbourne were relocated to Sydney. The game was still considered the "VFL" even tho there was a team now in Sydney. In the mid to late 80s teams from Western Australia, and Queensland would join it. As well as South Australia. It then changed from VFL to AFL. The game was now truly national.



Some teams have been "cut" or merged along the way. You dont really need to know about them.

THE GAME.

- the oval: no actual regulation lengths or widths; grounds around Australia are different sizes. It is generally oval shaped tho.
- is played over 4 quarters, 20 mins each (plus time on), with 2 x 5 min breaks + one 20 minute half time break.
- it is a full contact sport. As long as someone is in possession of the ball, you can tackle or bump them (within the rules). Eg. a tackle is too high if it is above the shoulders. A tackle is too low if it is below the knees. You cannot hold a player who does not have the ball. You cannot run more than 10 metres with the ball without bouncing or touching it to the ground.



Ok ill leave this explanation of the rules here because there are a billion other ****ing rules and it doesnt matter...

- SCORING: There's 4 goal posts, with three "areas" where u can kick the ball. Kick a ball directly thru the middle area without touching any players part of the body (it can bounce along the ground tho- like a soccer goal), you score a goal- ie. 6 points. Should you hit the post, or kick it thru the areas on either side of the goal area, it is a "behind" which is 1 point. If you hit the OUTER posts on either side, its zero points. So its either a thrown in or a free kick to the opposition.



^^^ the AFL ball. One of these babies will cost you $199 in the stores.


And example of a score in AFL could be... 7. 3 = 45 points total
My favourite AFL score would be.... 10. 9 = you get the point...

FWIW the ALL TIME record, of an VFL/AFL club, its held by Geelong. Das it. 37. 17 = 239 points mother ****er.

On average tho, you usually get around 3-4 goals per quarter, depending on the game of course. A 6 goal q is good/great. An 8 goal q is fantastic. A 10 goal+ quarter = go ****ing nuts mate.


POSITIONS ON THE FIELD:

- One team on the ground is made up of 18 players in total. You cannot have more than this at any one time or you get penalised.
- Teams positions are: Forwards, Half Forwards, Centres, Half backs and Backs. Then there is Ruck, Rover and Ruck rover. Ruckmans are tall af- they do the hit outs like in basketball they'd do tip offs. Very similar. The rovers then "rove" the pack and are meant to get those taps. Or anyone else. There's no "off side" in AFL. Any player can go anywhere.

Even Full Backs have kicked goals before.

But mainly that is the job of the Full Forward, and the other forward position players.

So yeah, skill involved in the game include: kicking, handballing, tapping/hit outs, sheparding (legal blocking- but not holding and within 5M of the ball), tackling, running with the ball... you cannot throw the ball at any time. You can tap it with a flat open hand tho, or a closed fist. You cannot "scoop" the ball.

I think that is about it.

Thats an overall run down of it all... its a fast game. The body type of the footballers would be a cross in between soccer players and rugby. Theyre not as heavy as a rugby player, but def got more meat on them than a soccer player would. They need both strength and cardio fitness.


So.

Any questions?

*remember i have not googled. I claim no responsibility for the accuracy of this information I have provided this evening.

 

[Shell]

Once you've wrapped you head around our confusing game barelyanAFLfan I shall go thru each current team of the competition.
(There are 18 of them)

Ie. their "background", colours.. if they are losers.. winners.. who to laugh at and deride.. who to hate. Who to love.

 

[winty]

Could always post a video Shell....

 

[Shell]

Shut up Winty

 

[winty]

Was only trying to help...

 

[Shell]

I put alot of effort into that post.

 

[winty]

It was a very impressive post too.

 

[Shell]

Aw thanks...


Altho maybe.

Srcsm?

 

[Shell]

Either way idc, thanks.

 

[Shell]

It was a very impressive post too.

And NO google. I meant that.

I had the name Wills in my head about the dude who invented it. That right?

Altho.. Burke and Wills.... idk

 

[winty]

And NO google. I meant that.

I had the name Wills in my head about the dude who invented it. That right?

Altho.. Burke and Wills.... idk

Yep, it was Tom Wills who invented it.

 

[Shell]

And FWIW- re. the teams who disappeared, was referring to "University".

And Fitzroy a team in Melbs, it was really sad, got really poor, had no real home base, had to Merge with Brisbane.


SO. Brisbane Bears + Fitzroy Lions = Brisbane Lions.

South Melbs because Sydney like i explained.

 

[Shell]

Yep, it was Tom Wills who invented it.

Good ol tooooooommy.

 

[winty]

Gotta love how when all the news outlets mention the Aussies who were in action at the Oz Open yesterday, not one of them mention Bernard Tomic.

 

[Shell]

Gotta love how when all the news outlets mention the Aussies who were in action at the Oz Open yesterday, not one of them mention Bernard Tomic.

You are kidding!!!!

 

[Shell]

Love it. I approve