We crank it up when we need it. We are also a significantly smarter team than in 2017 so the numbers are positioned better. We don't rely as much on pure effort.
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Preview 2021 Rd 2….Hawthorn v Richmond, 1.10pm Sunday, March 28. MCG. The Inverse Allan Jeans…..
- Thread starter Meteoric Rise
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CotchIsKing
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I was there. Dusty hit that ridiculous pass to Jack and Townsend kicked a mini bag.
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crackertiger
Team Captain
Last night Carlton mentally looked off the pace after a big round 1 show. I just hope we are up and about early.
Blockbuster fatigue something we don’t struggle with
My god that pass was sublime. Sometimes I think about it when I'm praying at the church of Dustin Martin.
Cor tigris
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Background
As former great Richmond coach Allan Jeans once said when coaching another less consequential club, in response to being asked if his team was unpopular with other teams because they were a bit rough in their playing style:
“We don’t care if they don’t like us, we just want their respect.”
Great quote, wise words. I liked Jeans and thought him a man to whom it was worth listening. The inconsequential club he was coaching at that time he uttered those words was the Hawthorn Hawks FC, who just happen to be our opponent this week. Anyway, I took his advice and developed a healthy hatred towards them, their nouveau succès supporters, their woeful club colours, their Kooyong Road tennis set image, their faux family club facade. Everything about them really. Jeansy didn’t have to invite me twice to hate them. It was a pleasure. But you did have to grudgingly respect the way they played footy. That part wasn’t such a pleasure.
Wind the clock forward to the eminently more sensible current era, and what do we have? How could you not like, nay love, the Hawks? They have this loveable little gnome coach, a bumbling fossilised counter productive President, the oldest player in the world on their list, a really sweet penchant for accepting any salary dump washed up hack any other club wants to unload - thanks for Bolton mugz. They even had the decency to beat us early last season to allow D Hardwick to lay down a few laws. Well, Dimma was laying anything going by that stage.
(Apologies to Damien and Mistress Hardwick.
). The Kooyong Road tennis set has disowned them so they are heading for….Dingley.
. Soon enough they will be the Burnie Hawks and we will love them all the more for it.
.
This year they are playing “the kids,” according the the angry ant that talks, A Clarkson. They do after all need to admit defeat regarding their cling on til it hurts top up with any overpriced player you can get policy. So we must congratulate them on only fielding the 6th oldest round one team.
You gottathe Hawks. But respect? Jeansy, God rest his soul, would be turning over in his grave, despite having been cremated like one of Bob Yeoman’s snags at the look-at-how-down-to-earth-we-are bbq’s the Hawks used to hold after training on selection nights. Nobody respects the Hawks. Captains who pinch their opponents. A coach who vandalises coach’s boxes. Penile photography…anyone see a Patton here? I mean to say, they don’t even have a women’s team. Surely there should be a Hawthorn Whoreks team? What a shambles of a club.
So we love the Hawks, but we don’t respect them. They lost our respect somewhere between Brian Lake being arrested in Japan and Tom Scully citing personal reasons for retiring, when it would have just been more accurate to put his hand up and say it is impossible for a receiver to get a kick playing for this shower.
The Match
This week we need to travel to their home ground to play them. When I first saw that I thought, oh sh1t, we are going to have to go to f*cking Dingley or somewhere crazy like that. But, I did some research amongst West Coast Illegals supporters and found out that through some convoluted and outdated arrangements, and by some miracle gift given by the administrative gods to the Richmond FC, their home ground is…..our home ground.. Damn.
From memory and notwithstanding last year’s fluke flag when we were made to play almost the whole season from a golf resort with a few minor entitled WAG demanded alterations, we are only any good at the MCG. I do not expect the venue to present too many problems to the humble little club that operates out of the Swinburne Centre and quietly goes about its business. One thing that will trouble us is the shrinking dimensions of the MCG. They kept that quiet, but I noticed it must have reduced by about 70% in length when N Balta scored from the back pocket last week.
Form
Hawthorn’s form is that bad that just last week they lost a quarter of footy by 7 goals to a team who went on to lose a quarter of footy by 7 goals to a team who are fringe spoon 2021. When you think about how bad you have to be to achieve that, it is difficult to place into proper perspective. So let me assist. An average wooden spoon team is on average about 10 points per quarter below AFL average. An average best in comp team is on average approximately 6 points per term better than AFL average. So on average a top team will beat a bottom team by approximately 16 points per quarter. Go 7 goals below that you get Essendon’s 3rd term last week. Then obviously you go another 7 goals below that you get Hawthorn’s second term. From this you could only possibly conclude we are likely to beat the Hawks by at least 16 goals in one quarter this week. So our biggest challenge as Richmond supporters will be to work out what the hell we do with ourselves during the inevitable one minute scoring lapses that may occur during that term.
Richmond’s form is actually a bit scratchy. After two pretty uninspiring pratice match efforts, the Tigers last week beat a team whose players included Mark Pittonet and Lachie Plowman. Sorry, Balta, Dusty and Jack, JGTI that is, beat a team whose players included Mark “French men can’t jump” Pittonet and Lachie “wtf was he doing with his arms around Dave anyway” Plowman. Oscar McDonald formed the highlight of the Blues’ recent history by fluking a couple of goals, and Fogarty, O’Brien and Dow were running around butchering everything they could get their hands on. So the Tigey Wigez didn’t beat much. But you know, it was a big night unfurling the club’s massive bottle neck of furled flags. What I want to know is how all these flags get furled in the first place? There must be someone at AFL House whose principle job it is to furl all our flags, hell of a busy job that.
Form wise though the biggest worry that I could find is that apart from the famous Systemically Racist Preliminaryship against us in 2018, the only other team to officially end our premiership hopes in any of the last 5 seasons was……………..none other than Hawthorn Hawks FC in Rd 18, 2016. Subsequent events have shown that had Hawthorn not spannered Richmond’s works in that match, the Tigers would have comfortably won their last 10 matches of the season on their way to collecting a prequel Premiership to the Tigers famous three flags by 2020.
Players to watch for:
Hawks
Nil, unless you include the oldest man in history, Shaun Burgoyne.
Tigers
Chaos Boss George Castagna, this is going to be his decade.
Noah “Shoe” Balta, will ask to be put on the shot clock when kicking in from full back.
Jayden Short going long.
Jack, Jack “rewind” Riewoldt that is, winding the clock back.
Shai "but not retiring" Bolton, the Hawks will request his GPS tracker post match so they can see where he went because they won’t have a scooby live.
Kane “Lamborghini” Lambert. Those mongooses at Champion Data may have missed him last week but I didn’t, right back to his best post op.
The list is endless.
Meteoric Viz:
The Tigers emphatically.
Summary
Just one of the wins the Tigers need to bank without ever being too impressive about it on their way to making "Oh We’re From Tigerland" the September Song yet again.
Hawks need to bank some losses after last week’s accidental victory jeopardised their crucial wooden spoon chances. Let’s hope for them they get better returns from this years number one draft pick than the last two number one picks they got in the door, namely, Scully and Patton.
Beast them Tigers.
. They even had the decency to beat us early last season to allow D Hardwick to lay down a few laws. Well, Dimma was laying anything going by that stage. 
). The Kooyong Road tennis set has disowned them so they are heading for….Dingley. 
. Soon enough they will be the Burnie Hawks and we will love them all the more for it. 
the Hawks. But respect? Jeansy, God rest his soul, would be turning over in his grave, despite having been cremated like one of Bob Yeoman’s snags at the look-at-how-down-to-earth-we-are bbq’s the Hawks used to hold after training on selection nights. Nobody respects the Hawks. Captains who pinch their opponents. A coach who vandalises coach’s boxes. Penile photography…anyone see a Patton here? I mean to say, they don’t even have a women’s team. Surely there should be a Hawthorn Whoreks team? What a shambles of a club.
Completely splendid preview, nicely done.
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Cos it's well known we don't usually tag I predict Tom Mitchell will break the possessions record with 78 possies and 250mm gained.
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thats because they played their grand final last week
DontArgue4
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I was at that game. Sitting behind the goals I got a sore neck watching balls go over my head. I reckon they scored 20 of those down my end. Last game at Subiaco oval I believe. Towner kicked 6. Little did we know that 4 weeks later magic would happen !
And the magic hasn't stopped ...
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not at all concerned about the dorks and i'm usually a pessimist.
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I'll be watching our contested ball and pressure rating stats on Sunday. Games seem very open at the moment with lots of run and carry. We might beat the Hawks with skill, but I'm a bit worried about rule changes (particularly 75 interchange cap) leading to more space, bringing our defence-oriented system down.
captain blood 17
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Perhaps the biggest interest from this game is what commandments on rule changes Clarko will have for the AFL post game...
On another note, I'm looking forward to seeing how Jiath stacks up against us. Needs work on his footy nouse and confidence at the top level, but damn that kid has some serious athleticism.
On another note, I'm looking forward to seeing how Jiath stacks up against us. Needs work on his footy nouse and confidence at the top level, but damn that kid has some serious athleticism.
I was sitting in line with his run from the bench. Crowd was stunned when it happened. Just a general shrug, “can’t stop that”.
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out rioli caddy
in cotchin rcd
in cotchin rcd
Out Caddy
in Cotchy
in Cotchy
Out caddy and Vlaustuin, in Cotchin and Naish.
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Paul Hudson for mine
There will be a creeping assumption that every overseas person has covid hence we have 1000 covid cases per day and hence we lockdown til the year 3045 when covid mutates into jesus
Nostradumbass
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Is Townsend still playing?
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