Werewolf 2025 Election Werewolf - Day 6

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

As the sun rose over the east coast, two bodies were found dumped on the steps of Parliament House. Was it a macabre sign of things to come on the campaign trail? Did this indicate that the political parties had dropped all pretence and were now engaging in outright murder? This isn't just dodgy preference deals, unearthed racist tweets or bonk bans anymore.

Shit. Just. Got. Real.

• BEaston (Anthony Green OR Andrew Bolt / True Seer OR Fake Seer) killed by the Labor Party (Mafia)
• Senor M (Barnaby Joyce / Town Drunk) killed by Jacqui Lambie (Vigilante)

It is now Day 1.

And just as a very gentle reminder:

FAILURE TO VOTE IN ANY DAY PHASE WILL RESULT IN A FINE FROM THE AEC (i.e. MODKILL)

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE (cont ...)

As the sun set over the west, all the politicians moved from marginal electorates into TV studios across the country. By the time everyone was tucked up in bed ready to do it all again, it became apparent that one politician had never made it back to her COMCAR. It seems that a furious mob of swing voters and armchair psephologists took out their frustration at the seemingly endless campaign. Was it justice? Was it strategy? Was it just Tuesday? It doesn’t really matter now, because ...

• boncer34 (Sussan Ley / Werecub) lynched

It is now Night 2.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

The Australian Public woke up this morning to a grim montage of breaking news alerts, shaken Sunrise hosts, and a visibly panicked Patricia Karvelas trying to explain how four more election-related deaths had occurred overnight without triggering a single Royal Commission. While most assumed this campaign would be the usual theatre of bad slogans, staged photo ops, and everyone questioning how exactly Craig Kelly still has a political career, it’s now becoming abundantly clear that someone (or several someones) have different ideas.

The public - already rattled by rising interest rates, rental shortages, and the thought of Clive Palmer naked - is now starting to ask whether this country is still a democracy, or sliding headfirst into a murderous autocracy. But to what end?

• Dingster (Aussie Battler / Villager) killed by Labor Party (Mafia)
• DemurePrincess (Tony Burke / Roleblocker) killed by Liberal Party (Werewolves) AND Jacqui Lambie (Vigilante)
• dogs105 (Aussie Battler / Villager) killed by Liberal Party (Werewolves)
• jmoo wan (Angus Taylor / Evasive Wolf + Teal / Vampire) killed by Lidia Thorpe (Serial Killer)

It is now Day 2.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

In a shocking turn of events, the electorate was fairly united in thought today and seemingly happy to use that unity to throw someone under the literal bus. The campaign bus, of course. Whispers turned to nods, nods turned to votes, and votes turned to a very public ending of one player's political aspirations. And I say aspirations, because they hadn't ever run for public office and to be honest, they didn't really stand a chance. The paranoia in the Australian Public just ratcheted up another notch ...

• eth-dog (Aussie Battler / Villager) lynched

It is now Night 3.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

The Australian Public awoke this morning not to the sizzle of bacon and eggs, but to hastily convened press conferences and one too many conspiracy memes being shared by "that" uncle on Facebook. In a shocking escalation, three more deaths overnight have sent the country from “unsettled” into “full-blown crisis.” Details are murky, with official statements ranging from “a tragic coincidence” to “deep-state interference,” depending on whether the spokesperson was holding a microphone or a democracy sausage. Talkback radio is melting down, Q+A has been upped from weekly to daily, and somewhere in a dimly lit corner of Canberra, a hungover intern is updating the national risk level to “Absolutely Cooked.” It's not an election anymore, it's a bloody palava.

• dank420_ (Gina Rinehart / Manipulative Wolf) killed by Labor (Mafia)
• DERO (Peter Holmes a Court / Head Vampire) killed by Liberals (Werewolves)
• Itsmyshow (Aussie Battler / Villager) killed by Neale Daniher (JOAT)

It is now Day 3.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

After days of chaos, confusion, and collecting corpses, it was refreshingly calm today. I mean, no one seemed to really know what was going on, but at least everyone was in agreement in not really knowing what was going on. But the lynch seemed fairly set from early on in the day - no passionate speeches, no backroom deals, no crossed-floor theatrics. To be honest, even the doomed player seemed relieved, simply sighing a resigned “Alright, fair enough” before being flown back from the campaign trail to Canberra for a public (but rather unenthusiastic) execution.

Democracy might be broken in this country, but at least today it was efficiently broken. And in this campaign, that’s a win.

• The Majestic (Peter Dutton / Alpha Wolf) lynched

And that also means that the Liberal Party has been wiped off the ballots (hopefully an omen for this Saturday).

It is now Night 4.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE (EDITED)

Another sleepless night in Australia. Another night of Parliament House echoing with a mix of shouting, frantic denials, and thinly veiled threats disguised as “constructive feedback.” Another night of pointed fingers to rival those after the failed Voice To Parliament referendum. Another night of absolute chaos.

And amid that chaos, two ONE more high-profile political careers have been reduced to footnotes. And these this weren’t wasn't just any old backbenchers backbencher either. These This were was a household names name, people someone that have has inspired thousands in different ways, the kind of deaths death that could be catastrophic for the Australian public. At this point, the only thing keeping the country together is a collective addiction to chaos ... and the ever-fading hope that someone, anyone, has a plan.

• OOPS!!!
• ClarkeM (Jacqui Lambie / Vigiliante) killed by Lidia Thorpe (Serial Killer)

It is now Day 4.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE (cont ...)

The mood across the country was tense. The polls seemed to be all moving in one direction, but then someone pointed out that something strange was happening with the betting odds. The potential of a voting deadlock (and therefore a multi-lynch) was met with enthusiasm, confusion, and a furious debate over whether that even counted as proportional representation.

As the deadline approached, all the mainstream news outlets started reporting an unexpected change to the regulations around voting - preferential voting had been suspended! That changed everything! The votes were counted. Recounted. Miscounted. Mysteriously shredded and then reprinted in Comic Sans, which obviously no-one trusted. As the public waited with bated breath, news slowly spread of a death in Canberra. Or maybe two deaths. Nobody could be quite sure ...





...





...





...

• Ocha905 (Anthony Albanese / Godfather) lynched

It is now Night 5.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

The sun rose on what was technically Election Day, though whether anyone still believed in the power of democracy was another question entirely. The streets were littered with ripped-up how-to-vote cards, defaced corflutes and the hushed mutterings of disillusioned citizens wondering if casting a ballot was just a ceremonial act before the next inevitable bloodbath.

Incredibly, only one person failed to make it to polling day alive. Just one. Which, in this campaign of nightly carnage, felt like a genuine triumph. Although it of course fueled three separate conspiracy podcasts and a rogue candidate declaring the death was a false flag staged by the ABC.

Still, the voting booths are open. That counts for something, right?

• BFew (Bernard Keane / Teal) killed by Lidia Thorpe (Serial Killer)

It is now Day 5.

PS - Don't forget to check out https://democracysausage.org/ before choosing which polling place you should go to.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

The smell of democracy sausages cooking at primary schools across the country started seemed to distract the Australian Public from the bloody carnage in the days and week prior. But once the polls closed, it was clear something was off. Rumours swirled of dodgy How To Vote cards, suspicious preference flows, and a group of independents trading Tim Tams for Senate preferences behind the local RSL.

Even though no one can seem to trust the results, Australia has voted. Whether it made sense or not is beside the point ...

• Nothing (Richard Marles / Mafioso) lynched
• CursingFijian (Aussie Battler) lynched

It is now Night 6.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

DEADLINE

Although the Labor Party were celebrating yesterday, the very real threat of postal votes tipping the scales kept everyone on a knife's edge across the country. In fact, the Labor Party's "victory" was incredibly short-lived. As the sun rose, it became readily apparent that was none left of the evil bastards to continue on the celebrations.

• Barrybran (Penny Wong / Blackmailer) killed by Lidia Thorpe (Serial Killer) and Neale Daniher (JOAT)

It is now Day 6.

 

[MC Bad Genius]

GAME OVER!

In a campaign already marred by scandal, bloodshed, and the inexplicable rise of several minor parties with names like "No We're The Real Independents," it is finally over. Lidia Thorpe, long rumoured to be running a campaign of chaos with no party backing, no policies, and apparently no sleep, had finally given up. In an unexpectedly gracious concession to the people of her country, she admitted her crimes in a hastily assembled press conference.

But crimes demand punishment. And her terrorising of the country demanded the ultimate punishment to an attention-loving politician (and yes, I realise that is a tautology):

Silence.

None of the assembled media chose to broadcast her stunning admissions. There wasn't a single conspiracy theorist podcaster that wanted to touch it. Not even the most desperate of YouTubers posted anything about it. The country was ready to put all the mayhem and all the panic of the election campaign behind them and not have to think about the grisly deaths that she was responsible for. Instead, they went back to arguing about football and MAFS and whatever else Real Aussies™ argue about. Potato scallops vs potato cakes?

Also, she was lynched, so there's that part of the punishment too.

• ZergMinion (Lidia Thorpe) lynched

Which means that ...

... the Australian Public have won!!!