- Nov 23, 2018
- 2,755
- 4,503
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
I think I've made about one thread on this board in the 11 years I've been on this website, (discounting changes threads or news or whatever like whoring I've attempted in the past) but seeing as I spent a bunch of time writing most of this post before the other thread was immediately closed I thought * it.
This board has always had a fondness for melting and generally complaining about things, and I can understand the desire for the sweet carthartic release as you angrily smash out a "PICK SALTER FFS", "DELIST HITCHCOCK" or "THOSE WHO RE-SIGNED HINKLEY SHOULD ALL BE SACKED IMMEDIATELY", I really do. However reading about how the clubs custodians are deliberately pissing all over the creed and ruining the lives of our supporters gets a little more than tiresome.
Misery loves company, and if you even dare reach for those rozee coloured glasses before looking at the season ahead and maybe just hoping a little bit that things turn out better than expected, well friend you best prepare to face a beat down because that kind of thinking isn’t allowed around these parts.
You think Hinkley can win a premiership? “Pwah that guy is a LOSER and you must have increased sodium levels induced delerium due to all the power-ade you’ve been drinking to even consider that possibility!”
You have faith in our playing group? “I GUESS you forgot that we haven’t won a final in 1046 days and 8 hours! (not that I’m counting)”
You’re looking forward to seeing us play finals? “Anything less than a premiership is a FAILURE and you and other blind faith supporters accepting less than that are the reason that our pathetic administration got away with extending the contract of a perennial loser coach!!”
You’re excited about the new coaching staff? “Too bad we have 3 MORE YEARS of our terrible head coach, if only we hadn’t we could have Brofield the champion as coach instead!”
Yeah people have a right to be pissed off about whatever they like, personally I get irrationally pissed off about Elon Musk and his dumb supporters who think he will ever achieve anything less than a really shitty version of a train system. I also get very rationally pissed off about fascist apologists, particularly if they are mods on a forum or subreddit I frequent.
When it comes to AFL my irrational rage is usually reserved for the likes of that cheating prick Joel Selwood, the farcical tribunal who seem to * Port Adelaide at every opportunity possible, and especially the "Poodle Headed Fudgenugget (credit tribey)" umpire Shayne Macklemore who I once sighted at the airport after a game and immediately wanted to strangle (which although absolutely justified was a little unsettling).
As for the club itself I'm usually pretty happy to let the decisions the club makes alone because I quite frankly don't think I know any better, and I have plenty of other decisions to worry about every day such as what flavour ice cream to eat for dinner, or whether I want to put nutella or peanut butter inside of my Oreos when I'm done ripping bongs in the middle of the day "working from home".
Yes I'll defend the s**t out of the club on here, sometimes perhaps out of pure contrarianism of the rest of the board, sometimes because yes I do believe that John Butcher just wasn't a good footballer and Sam Gray is a better option, or perhaps because I have an overwhelming desire to have Matt Thomas' babies and any criticism of him immediately fills me with the rage of a thousand suns.
That doesn't mean I don't want to see us win premierships ever again, or have the club never wear prison bars again, it doesn't mean I think winning 3 finals in 10 years is a successful period, nor does it mean that I have an undying love for all things Ken, Koch, and KT. I just quite frankly love this football club, and every coach and player that walks through the door until they leave again. I look forward to the footy every weekend hoping for a win, and have never had the stomach to tip against us in my life. I want to see everyone at the club succeed, and I really don't care to think too much about how they achieve it, because I'm sure as s**t not an expert on gameday tactics, coaching nuance and what it takes to win games at the highest level.
But guess what, most of the rest of the campaigners on here aren't either. There are some who I give a lot of credit to (though I won't suck you off here you beautiful goddamn nerds) but most of you are plebs like me who know less than nothing about high level sport, yet talk as though you've completed a coaching certificate 10000, know exactly every moment in history where someone at the club has made the wrong decision and would have the club winning premierships every second year were you in charge.
And I'll grant things have seemed better around here recently as people have moved towards the acceptance phase of their grievances with the extension of Hinkley, but the co-captains meltdown is another in a long list of insane tantrums over things that are frankly meaningless in the scheme of Port Adelaide, let alone life in general.
We all have a sook every now and then, but we watch football to be entertained FFS, to go to the game with our mates, sink piss, cheer boys jumping on top of other boys to catch a ball, boo that ******* CHEAT SELWOOD, submit to completely pointless tribalism and start fights with Crows supporters who we've never met, all while every day hoping to feel the pure joy of watching people who have literally nothing to do with us find the ultimate success and win a premiership.
Half of the time it seems like people won't get out of bed to post for less than 10 farkens or a "what happen power" though. The most popular threads are the absolute sook-fests that are pure misery to read through. And yes I could avoid reading it all completely if I don't want to read any of the good stuff, or I could just put 90% of posters on ignore and read the opinions of the true nerds like Macca who take joy in being supporters.
Or maybe we could try to not post the same thing 1000 times about how the club is pissing all over the creed because we appointed two captains instead of one, we could try not to bully the one in twenty posters who actually tries to spin things in the positive until they either become a miserable campaigner as well or simply stop posting all together.
I don't want to seem like I'm trying to lecture anyone, because quite frankly who the * am I to tell people what to do with their lives. If you want to read and post in 1000 page threads of pure angst and misery that's your choice, but how about when someone says "whoa its a bit negative here" we don't tell them to "love it or leave it" and instead have some self reflection on the absolutely whiney campaigners we are.
Like I get it you've said you don't like Chad Wingard playing fortnite, you don't need to post about it ******* 200 times in the same thread. Get over yourself and do something fun instead, go outside and suck a dick! Live a little.
TLDR: No one gives a s**t about your opinion, everyone knows everything sucks, you don't look smart when you post about it and it's certainly not amusing. So lighten the * up.
This board has always had a fondness for melting and generally complaining about things, and I can understand the desire for the sweet carthartic release as you angrily smash out a "PICK SALTER FFS", "DELIST HITCHCOCK" or "THOSE WHO RE-SIGNED HINKLEY SHOULD ALL BE SACKED IMMEDIATELY", I really do. However reading about how the clubs custodians are deliberately pissing all over the creed and ruining the lives of our supporters gets a little more than tiresome.
Misery loves company, and if you even dare reach for those rozee coloured glasses before looking at the season ahead and maybe just hoping a little bit that things turn out better than expected, well friend you best prepare to face a beat down because that kind of thinking isn’t allowed around these parts.
You think Hinkley can win a premiership? “Pwah that guy is a LOSER and you must have increased sodium levels induced delerium due to all the power-ade you’ve been drinking to even consider that possibility!”
You have faith in our playing group? “I GUESS you forgot that we haven’t won a final in 1046 days and 8 hours! (not that I’m counting)”
You’re looking forward to seeing us play finals? “Anything less than a premiership is a FAILURE and you and other blind faith supporters accepting less than that are the reason that our pathetic administration got away with extending the contract of a perennial loser coach!!”
You’re excited about the new coaching staff? “Too bad we have 3 MORE YEARS of our terrible head coach, if only we hadn’t we could have Brofield the champion as coach instead!”
Yeah people have a right to be pissed off about whatever they like, personally I get irrationally pissed off about Elon Musk and his dumb supporters who think he will ever achieve anything less than a really shitty version of a train system. I also get very rationally pissed off about fascist apologists, particularly if they are mods on a forum or subreddit I frequent.
When it comes to AFL my irrational rage is usually reserved for the likes of that cheating prick Joel Selwood, the farcical tribunal who seem to * Port Adelaide at every opportunity possible, and especially the "Poodle Headed Fudgenugget (credit tribey)" umpire Shayne Macklemore who I once sighted at the airport after a game and immediately wanted to strangle (which although absolutely justified was a little unsettling).
As for the club itself I'm usually pretty happy to let the decisions the club makes alone because I quite frankly don't think I know any better, and I have plenty of other decisions to worry about every day such as what flavour ice cream to eat for dinner, or whether I want to put nutella or peanut butter inside of my Oreos when I'm done ripping bongs in the middle of the day "working from home".
Yes I'll defend the s**t out of the club on here, sometimes perhaps out of pure contrarianism of the rest of the board, sometimes because yes I do believe that John Butcher just wasn't a good footballer and Sam Gray is a better option, or perhaps because I have an overwhelming desire to have Matt Thomas' babies and any criticism of him immediately fills me with the rage of a thousand suns.
That doesn't mean I don't want to see us win premierships ever again, or have the club never wear prison bars again, it doesn't mean I think winning 3 finals in 10 years is a successful period, nor does it mean that I have an undying love for all things Ken, Koch, and KT. I just quite frankly love this football club, and every coach and player that walks through the door until they leave again. I look forward to the footy every weekend hoping for a win, and have never had the stomach to tip against us in my life. I want to see everyone at the club succeed, and I really don't care to think too much about how they achieve it, because I'm sure as s**t not an expert on gameday tactics, coaching nuance and what it takes to win games at the highest level.
But guess what, most of the rest of the campaigners on here aren't either. There are some who I give a lot of credit to (though I won't suck you off here you beautiful goddamn nerds) but most of you are plebs like me who know less than nothing about high level sport, yet talk as though you've completed a coaching certificate 10000, know exactly every moment in history where someone at the club has made the wrong decision and would have the club winning premierships every second year were you in charge.
And I'll grant things have seemed better around here recently as people have moved towards the acceptance phase of their grievances with the extension of Hinkley, but the co-captains meltdown is another in a long list of insane tantrums over things that are frankly meaningless in the scheme of Port Adelaide, let alone life in general.
We all have a sook every now and then, but we watch football to be entertained FFS, to go to the game with our mates, sink piss, cheer boys jumping on top of other boys to catch a ball, boo that ******* CHEAT SELWOOD, submit to completely pointless tribalism and start fights with Crows supporters who we've never met, all while every day hoping to feel the pure joy of watching people who have literally nothing to do with us find the ultimate success and win a premiership.
Half of the time it seems like people won't get out of bed to post for less than 10 farkens or a "what happen power" though. The most popular threads are the absolute sook-fests that are pure misery to read through. And yes I could avoid reading it all completely if I don't want to read any of the good stuff, or I could just put 90% of posters on ignore and read the opinions of the true nerds like Macca who take joy in being supporters.
Or maybe we could try to not post the same thing 1000 times about how the club is pissing all over the creed because we appointed two captains instead of one, we could try not to bully the one in twenty posters who actually tries to spin things in the positive until they either become a miserable campaigner as well or simply stop posting all together.
I don't want to seem like I'm trying to lecture anyone, because quite frankly who the * am I to tell people what to do with their lives. If you want to read and post in 1000 page threads of pure angst and misery that's your choice, but how about when someone says "whoa its a bit negative here" we don't tell them to "love it or leave it" and instead have some self reflection on the absolutely whiney campaigners we are.
Like I get it you've said you don't like Chad Wingard playing fortnite, you don't need to post about it ******* 200 times in the same thread. Get over yourself and do something fun instead, go outside and suck a dick! Live a little.
TLDR: No one gives a s**t about your opinion, everyone knows everything sucks, you don't look smart when you post about it and it's certainly not amusing. So lighten the * up.
