A joke

[amazonstud]

Following the lead of Melbourne recruiting Jimmy Stynes in Ireland, the Western Bulldogs recruiting scout returns from Kosovo raving about a new teenage superstar that he's seen in the war-torn country.

The Bulldogs are so convinced by the scout and so desperate for no-one else to snatch him up that they sign the boy right away. The boy comes to Australia and arrives in Melbourne for Saturday's game and is on the
bench.

With 10 minutes to go, one of the bulldogs, Chris Grant, gets injured and is stretchered from the ground. Terry Wallace points to the new boy and says,"This is your big chance, son. Go out and do the business for us."

The lad takes off his tracksuit and takes to the field. In those dying minutes he's a revelation, kicking 4 goals. The Bulldogs get up and win the game and the crowd goes wild.

After the game Terry gives the new boy a big hug in the changing rooms.

"Great performance, son. Go and give your parents a ring at home, they'll be so proud of you. You can use the phone in my office."

The lad goes into the coach's office and rings his Mum. "Mum, I've just had the best day in my life on debut. I kicked 4 goals !!...You don't sound very happy though... why are you crying? Is
everything OK?"

"No, son. Today has been the worst in my life....Your Dad has been shot,they've r*ped your sister and the house has been burned to the ground."

"Oh no, Mum, that's terrible. I'm really sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry? So you should be! You're the reason we moved to Footscray in the first place!"

 

[Dodongo]

Dodongo laughs

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DODONGO HAS SPOKEN

 

[Darky]

Kid's name wasn't Damir was it?

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Blue is the colour of healing - Music is the crystallised emotion - Flow with the Force

 

[Dodongo]

Dodongo thinks Damir is too fat to play footy. Dodongo would like to see damir complain about food prices at footy matches. Dodongo won't wanna be the person that serves him. Dodongo will give him a big whack if he tries anything.

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DODONGO HAS SPOKEN

 

[Same Old's]

I've heard that joke before but it was in a NFL context.

 

[dees01]

Very Funny!!

 

[Damir Dokic]

I said I vont two pissess off feeesh!

 

[Richmondfan#1]

Originally posted by Damir Dokic:
I said I vont two pissess off feeesh!

I thought they were too expensive for you

.

 

[QT]

Damir Dokic is ok, you just have to understand the fat, dic-khead who is so blody selfish and couldnt give a shite, bout his daughter's tennis career.

 

[Damir Dokic]

Australia is big racist country. You not have one smart person.
On menu it say two dollars for sossiches. My plate come, have only one sossich. I say how come only one sossich? Man say you only get one sossich. I say "look at menu, him say sossiches" but I only get one sossich.
Big racist country. At least in Serbia we hev more feeesh.

 

[Dodongo]

Dodongo thinks Damir is a screwed up shithead old dumb fossil that won't know the difference between a Baboon or a Frog.

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DODONGO HAS SPOKEN

 

[Dodongo]

Originally posted by Damir Dokic:
Australia is big racist country. You not have one smart person.
On menu it say two dollars for sossiches. My plate come, have only one sossich. I say how come only one sossich? Man say you only get one sossich. I say "look at menu, him say sossiches" but I only get one sossich.
Big racist country. At least in Serbia we hev more feeesh.

Dodongo thinks you have no sossich.


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DODONGO HAS SPOKEN

 

[Dodongo]

Dodongo wants to know if you were dropped on your head at birth Damir?

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DODONGO HAS SPOKEN

 

[Damir Dokic]

No, me inhale very bad fart. Eat too much sossich.

 

[Darky]

Mother Theresa dies and goes to heaven, and is met by St. Peter at the gate, who tells her that Princess Diana is here and maybe they could meet each other. 24 hours later, Mother Theresa is back at the gate again, complaining to St. Peter.

"St. Peter", she moans, "Princess Diana is here and I want to know why her halo is TWICE as big as mine."

St Peter calmly responds, "Don't worry, Mother Theresa, that's not a halo... that's a steering wheel!"



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Listen through your eyes - See through your ears - Become one with the source
Light and sound are but one - in the heart of creation the rest is for you to discover

 

[magpie_joffa]

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

DONGO IS DAMIR IN BIGFOOTY CHAT

YOU LEGEND YOU!!!

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There are only two kinds of people in this world-COLLINGWOOD SUPPORTERS,and those who wish they were!
SHITE here comes COLLINGWOOD to kick your ass forever BLACK AND WHITE,ha ha ha jealousy will be the death of you,SHITE!!!!!

 

[Damir Dokic]

chat-Damir and boards-Damir are not same person.
chat-Damir like sossich in culo, boards-Damir like sossich in mouth.
but i tink we is both liking feeesh.

 

[JUBJUB]

Originally posted by Damir Dokic:

boards-Damir like sossich in mouth.
*******************************************

So does Bill Clinton

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"Screw you guys,I'm goin' home "

 

[Pessimistic]

What do Princess Di and D Millane have in common ?

Neither made it home from the tunnel

(It gets worse)

 

[Darky]

that'll get feedback...

 

[sandie]

Pess
I suggest you put your bullet proof vest on.

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mantis

 

[Darky]

A dog walks into a pub.

'Bartender!' he says; 'I am the world's ONLY talking dog!'

'So?' says the bartender.

'Well' says the dog...'that should entitle me to a free drink on the house; don't you agree?'

The bartender thinks for a moment and answers 'You are absolutely right. The toilet is around
back'.

 

[Captain Sensible]

Two whales are swimming happily of the coast of Japan,one male and one female. When the male whale notices the hull of a whaling boat, he turns to his girlfriend and says "Thats the whaling boat that killed my dear, old dad lets blow them out of the water with our blowholes."
Shes thinks about this for a while and agrees. They swim underneath, capsize the boat and settle back to watch the mayhem. To the male whales horror though the men are getting on life boats and rescue vessels and escaping the watery death the whales had planned for them.
"Quick" he yells "they're getting away let's go and gobble them all up"
"No way" says the female "I agreed to the blow job but if you think im swallowing any seamen..."

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...Son, if youre going to follow the Doggies you'll need a sense of humour...

 

[Darky]

A man walks into the doctors....

Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"
Man - "I've got an orange knob doc."
Doc - "What??"
Man - "My penis - it's turned orange."
Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up.... It seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"
Man - "Not really"
Doc - "What about stress at work?"
Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete bastard for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"
Doc - "That sounds very stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great - half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"
Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"
Man - "Well, my wife is a complete cow, she nags non-stop and puts me down every chance she gets"
Doc - "That sounds stressful"
Man - "Yeah, but I'm getting a divorce and I've never been happier."
Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"
Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."
Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"
Man - "Watch pr0n videos and eat Cheezels"

 

[CJH]

A humble crab fell in love with Princess Lobster and she with him. They enjoyed an idyllic relationship but one day Princess Lobster came to Crab in floods of tears saying that King Lobster could not let her see Crab any more.

But why?" gasped the humble crab.

Daddy says that crabs are too common," sobbed the princess.

You're a lower class of crustacean, and anyway, you walk sideways."

Crab was shattered and scuttled away to drink himself into forgetfulness.

That night was the occasion of the great Lobster Ball. Lobsters came from far and near for feasting and merrymaking. Princess Lobster, however, sat by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly, the doors flew open. It was the humble crab. Slowly, painstakingly, he made his way to the throne - walking dead straight, one claw after another.

A silence gathered round the room.

All the Lobsters' eyes fell on the intruder.

Step by painful step he approached until he looked King Lobster in the eye. There was a deadly hush. Finally Crab spoke up:

"F*ck, I'm pissed!"

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This is a hallucination and these faces are in a dream. A computer generated environment; a fantasy island you can do anything and not have to face the consequences.